


it spills from your skin

by Lise



Series: Remember This Cold [14]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 30 Day OTP Porn Challenge, 69 (Sex Position), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Body Dysphoria, Boys Kissing, Clothed Sex, Complicated Relationships, Desk Sex, Developing Relationship, Dirty Talk, Doggy Style, Dream Sex, Dressed/Naked Sex, Emotion Porn, Established Relationship, First Time Topping, Floor Sex, Food Sex, Genderplay, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, Loki Has Issues, M/M, Masturbation, Morning After, Morning Sex, Naked Cuddling, Oral Sex, Outdoor Sex, Painplay, Porn, Public Sex, Rimming, Roleplay, Rough Sex, Self Confidence Issues, Shower Sex, Telepathy, Verbal Sex, Voice Kink, Wall Sex, Wax Play, in the most literal way, playing with this relationship through porn, with some plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-14
Updated: 2013-10-08
Packaged: 2017-12-26 12:37:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 49,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/966004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lise/pseuds/Lise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things have come together, maybe; and this is what it looks like. </p>
<p>A collection of all thirty short(ish) Steve/Loki fics written for the 30 Day OTP NSFW Challenge on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. cuddling (naked)

**Author's Note:**

> So I was going to leave all of these only on my tumblr, but I am currently writing a thing that grows out of certain pieces of this set in a big way, and I decided it needed to be here for the purpose of linking the two projects. So think of this posting, which I'm going to do in installments, as a lead up to a new, plot-ish fic in this verse. 
> 
> The original posting of all of these is on my [tumblr](http://veliseraptor.tumblr.com/tagged/thirty-days-of-shameless-porn), and at the very least I hope nobody minds an increase of Steve/Loki porn. 
> 
> These are not in chronological order but in posting order; any notes about things of timeline importance will be indicated in pre-chapter notes.

Loki frowned when he opened the door, just slightly, but it was enough to make Steve feel powerfully self conscious about his slightly bedraggled appearance. “The rain started suddenly,” he blurted out. “and I didn’t bring an umbrella, but it didn’t seem like that far to walk back…I can go change.”

His mouth did that little twitch that suggested he was trying not to be amused. Or at least trying not to show it. “No need, Captain. Come in.” He stepped back and held the door open. Steve stepped inside, and Loki caught his face and drew him into a light kiss that he pulled away from before Steve was quite ready for him to go.

He plucked at Steve’s wet shirt with two fingers. “This can’t be very comfortable.” 

"It’s a little…"

"Take it off," Loki said, not quite imperiously. "I’m going to go fetch a blanket." 

"I don’t have any other," Steve started to object, and then caught the raised eyebrow look Loki gave him and flushed a little. "I’m not really that cold," he added, a touch feebly. 

"Nonsense," Loki said. "Besides, I will not have your wet clothing on my furniture." Loki gave him a long look, and then took a step closer and added, "Besides…can’t I just want to feel your skin pressed against mine everywhere we touch, under my hands, my mouth…" 

Steve could feel his face heat up. “Hm,” he said, eloquently, and then pulled himself together, met Loki’s eyes almost stubbornly, and reached for the buttons of his overshirt. Loki’s mouth turned up at one corner. 

"I shall return shortly," he murmured, and turned to stride off toward the bedroom. Steve peeled off his wet shirts and hung them over the chairs in the kitchenette, and Loki came back with an armful of blankets just as he was about to start on his pants. Loki dropped the blankets on the couch, and sat down on the arm, innocent gaze on Steve. He paused. 

"What?" 

"Just watching," Loki said, with a slightly toothy smile, but not one of the nasty ones. Steve felt a pleasant little tingle down his spine and pushed his khakis off, hanging those up too. He could almost feel Loki looking him over with that expression that was…positively indecent. Sure enough, when he turned around…

"Come here," Loki murmured, and Steve went over gladly. Loki’s hands skimmed over his sides and found the waistband of his boxers. "I said I wanted to feel you everywhere," he said. 

Steve swallowed. “—seems a bit unfair you’re still…”

Loki slipped his thumbs into the waistband and tugged, just a little. “You see to these and get on the couch.” He paused, and then gave Steve an arch look. “Feel free to watch.” 

Steve felt a little like he ought to be embarrassed, but wasn’t, really. Loki stood from the arm of the couch, and Steve only paused a moment before pulling his boxers off too, trying not to feel self-conscious. The army might have drilled most of the modesty out of him, but outside of that environment…this was different, somehow. He spread the blanket over the couch and crawled under it to watch Loki undress. 

How he managed to do it was a mystery to Steve, but somehow he managed to make the simple act of stripping out of his clothing look graceful, beautiful. And he couldn’t pretend he didn’t  _like_ looking at him. By the way Loki smirked at him, he knew it, too. 

Fully naked, Loki padded - perfectly unselfconscious - to the couch, and slid under the blanket, tucking his feet up onto the couch and leaning slightly into Steve’s shoulder. Steve wrapped his arm around Loki’s shoulders along with the blanket. 

Loki’s skin against his was cool as ever, the line of him cool along Steve’s side. Loki ‘hmm’ed quietly, and then shifted, wrapping his arms around Steve’s neck and pulling him down. Steve followed obediently, shifting his limbs so they could both lie stretched out on the couch, Loki’s leg sliding between his without any real intent, just twining them together. 

Loki’s hand drifted up and combed through his still damp hair. Steve dropped his head down and kissed Loki’s bare shoulder lightly, let his tongue flick out so he could catch that faint tingling electricity. The soft, pleased noise Loki made made Steve smile, his other arm coming up to wrap around Steve’s waist.

It did feel good, being pressed together like this, Steve thought. Even if his body responded to it, just this was nice. 

"You smell like rain," Loki murmured, into his shoulder. A pause, and then he added, "Rain and grass." 

"Is that a good thing?" 

"Mm. Yes." Loki’s voice was muffled where his face was pressed against the crook of Steve’s neck. He shifted again, his leg folding over Steve’s like he could twist them even closer. 

He’d noticed, since they’d started this, how much Loki liked just to be touched. He wasn’t quick to encourage it, and even less so to ask for it, but the way he responded even just to Steve brushing a hand across his back or giving his shoulder a squeeze…and now this. Steve filed it away, a thing to remember. He could hear the rain on the windows, and half wondered if Loki had arranged that just to have an excuse to cuddle. 

That was just silly, though. 

Loki mouthed against his shoulder, a lazy, wet kiss, and Steve shifted to fold the blankets around them, aware of every inch of skin pressed against his. He let his hands slide down so he could glide his fingertips over the thin skin over Loki’s ribs, savoring the silky texture. Loki threw his other leg over the back of Steve’s calves, rubbed his foot down the backs of one, lazy and strangely possessive in a way that made Steve’s belly feel warm.

It’d be a while until his clothes dried. It just made sense to stay here until then. 


	2. kisses (naked)

Steve woke up slowly to the sun bright in his eyes and the soft sound of someone’s breathing. It took him a moment to remember that he hadn’t left Loki’s room the night before, between the late hour and the way Loki had almost growled at him when he did try to disentangle himself and slip away. He’d been too tired, anyway.

Though thinking that made him want to flush, a little.

Loki’s skin was warm where it had been against his all night, back to Steve’s chest, his spine a slight curve and his hair falling around his face. Looking at him breathing softly, quietly, his face relaxed into the slightest of frowns, Steve smiled a little and bent his head to place a kiss on his hair before starting to extract himself.

Loki’s hand moved with surprising quickness and grabbed Steve’s arm tucked under his neck. “Mmnn,” he hummed, what sounded perhaps like a protest, and indeed his grip was surprisingly strong for his apparent somnolence. 

"I need to go," Steve said quietly, though he didn’t pull very hard. 

"Nnn," Loki said, more firmly, and shifted slightly, pressing back against Steve. He brought Steve’s hand up to his mouth and pressed light kisses to the tips of his fingers, trailing down to the palm of his hand, then back up to swirl his tongue around his index finger. Steve twitched. 

"Loki…"

"Oh, all right." Loki’s voice sounded slightly blurry, but he relinquished Steve’s hand and let go of his arm. "Must you?" 

Steve badly wanted to answer no. "I do. I’m sorry." 

"Mm. Can’t be helped, I suppose." Loki rolled away, and Steve resisted the urge to pull him back, missing the feeling of his body against Steve’s. He stretched, languidly, and Steve let himself look - admire - his eyes catching just a little on Loki’s cock, faintly swollen if still lying against his thigh. He could feel his own morning erection give a twitch. He bit his lip, trying to focus, though the way Loki glanced at him…

He padded over, after a moment, and slid his arms around Steve’s waist, bent his head to capture his lips in a kiss that was almost bizarrely chaste given the way their naked bodies rubbed together. Loki’s hands glided up Steve’s back and Steve felt his skin prickle, but Loki didn’t deepen the kiss. 

After a moment, he pulled back, and smiled slightly. “Hmm.” 

"What?" Steve asked. Loki kissed his chin and then the corner of his mouth, still tantalizingly lightly. 

_I need to go,_ he meant to say, but ended up turning his head to catch Loki’s mouth again, and if the kiss was tender and sweet, it still made him want…more. 

Loki’s hands moved to his chest and slid up to his shoulders, then to the back of his neck where they kneaded the muscle. Steve leaned into Loki, letting his hands rest on the slight jut of his hipbones. The kiss deepened fractionally, Loki’s tongue flickering against the seam of his lips and pulling away. Steve made a small noise that he hoped communicated his protest, and felt the faint vibration of Loki’s laugh against his chest. In revenge, Steve caught Loki’s lower lip and rolled it lightly between his teeth, felt him tense and shudder, rubbing against Steve’s body like a cat against a favored human.

Even as his mind supplied the analogy, Steve wasn’t sure he liked it. When Loki pulled back and nipped sharply just below his ear, though, making Steve jump, he forgot to worry about it. 

"What are you doing?" Steve asked. 

"Giving you something to think about while you’re away," Loki murmured, and sucked Steve’s earlobe into his mouth briefly before lowering his mouth to Steve’s neck again. 

"Don’t leave a - nnnh," Steve said, his warning cut off by the sweet suction that simultaneously pulled blood up to his skin and sent it rushing downwards. If he didn’t call this off soon it was only going to get harder to leave. "—that’s going to show," he managed, as Loki’s tongue laved over the new ache.

"My apologies," Loki said, not sounding terribly sorry. "It’s such a nice neck. How am I supposed to leave it alone?" 

"You’re one to talk," Steve mumbled, feeling his face go warm, and Loki laughed again and dropped his head an inch lower, this time sucking what felt like even harder. Steve twisted his head to catch Loki’s shoulder with his own lips, rewarded by a quiet moan that vibrated against Steve’s body. He could feel Loki’s arousal swell against his hip, and was too aware of his own. 

Steve gave up on subtle and kissed Loki fiercely, fastening his lips to his, open mouthed. Loki’s tongue slid along his and Steve pushed back, thrust his tongue between Loki’s parted lips and felt a warm surge of satisfaction at the way Loki arched into him. His heartbeat picked up and his breathing quickened, all of him feeling warm and flushed and the way their hips rocked together, giving just enough friction to make him want more, the silk of Loki’s skin under his hands and the cool, light touch of Loki’s hands on his skin…

Steve made himself step back, breathing a little raggedly. Loki’s face was faintly flushed, his lips slightly reddened and swollen. The smile he gave Steve, however, was simply impish, if belied by the glaze in his eyes. 

"So quick to call a halt, my dear Captain?" Loki said, standing there as though he were completely unaffected by the erection he was sporting. Steve felt a little curl of longing.

"If I stay here any longer," he said, honestly. "I’ll never leave."

"I’m sure I’d get tired." Loki paused a moment. "Eventually." Steve couldn’t help a smile, even if it came with a flush. Loki waved a hand. "Go on. You don’t want your friends to fret." His eyes gleamed a little. "Consider it something to come back to." 

The pleasant tightness in his belly increased a notch. It was a good thing, he told himself, the others probably weren’t up yet. Loki’s lips curved, and he leaned in just enough to kiss Steve on the cheek, and then to whisper in his ear, “Perhaps I’ll simply go about like this all day, and greet you in nothing but my skin when you return. Something for you to think about while you go about your day.”

Steve swallowed, knowing that mental image would stick in his head all day. Probably pop up at the worst times. 

He couldn’t really be upset.


	3. first time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prompt was for "first time", but I already wrote that for these two (at some length) in "reflected in someone like me", so for this one I went with first time for penetrative sex. Just so no one looks at me funny over that, if they were thinking about it.

"Is there anything you want?" Steve asked, staring up at the ceiling. 

"Any number of things," Loki said easily, his fingers drawing idle circles on Steve’s shoulder. 

"I mean…" Steve felt self-conscious, and tried to ignore it. "Things you…want. To do." He swallowed once, and added, "With me." 

Loki drew back and propped himself up on one elbow, eyebrows raised and a slightly wicked grin touching the corners of his mouth. “Oh, well…that’s a broad question.” Steve couldn’t keep himself from glancing away, at that, but Loki just laughed - almost warmly. 

"What’s…" he couldn’t look at him. "Like what?"

Loki eyed him for a few moments, and then sat up and stretched, the blankets falling down to pool in his lap. “Oh,” he said, and his voice was perfectly even, as though he were merely discussing the weather, “I think about how much I would like to feel you slide every inch of your beautiful cock inside me, watching your face as you fall headlong into an orgasm stronger than any you’ve had yet.” 

Steve blinked, his thoughts going very blank. “…oh.”

Loki’s head cocked a little to the side. “Oh?”

"I, um." Steve hunted for the right words. "I hadn’t…" That wasn’t true, though. Not exactly. 

Loki’s eyebrows arched delicately. “Not something you’re interested in?”

"I wouldn’t…" his mouth felt rather dry. "I wouldn’t say that."

"Oh? What would you say?" 

Steve took a deep breath, carefully. “That I…” Loki’s words kept circling around in his head. The way he’d said them. 

He could never decide if it was frustrating or wonderful how easily Loki seemed to do that, Just a few words, and he could completely derail Steve’s thoughts and stir up arousal where he’d been quiet before.

For the moment, he just shifted to lean over Loki and kiss him, half as a stalling technique, half just because the way he was smirking made warmth pool in his stomach. He kept picturing it, though, the image in his mind with embarrassing vividity of Loki’s long legs wrapped around his body, bodies pressed together so very, very close…

He felt his cock give an interested twitch. Loki’s teeth caught his lower lip and tugged a little before releasing it, and Steve shifted thoughtlessly to be over Loki. Loki’s foot drew a line up his calf and then slid back down, one of his hands sliding up to cradle the back of Steve’s head. 

Loki pulled back just enough to murmur, “And what do you want, Captain?” 

Steve shivered, but he managed to keep his voice fairly even to say, “I’d like to try - that.”

Loki’s breath was soft on the shell of his ear. “You liked the way that sounded?” Steve felt a flush spreading down his chest, and Loki nipped his ear sharply. He jumped, startled. 

"Yes," he said, almost defiantly. "I -  _oh,_ _"_ as Loki’s tongue trailed down his neck in a narrow line and his hand slid between them to run his hand very lightly over his filling length before pulling away. Steve’s hips rutted up into that touch and met Loki’s hip instead. “What do I,” he struggled to get the words out. “—what do I do?”

"Do?" Loki sounded faintly amused, and Steve tried not to feel embarrassed. He knew the basic - idea, but particulars…

"Yes," he affirmed. Loki was trailing lazy kisses down the side of his neck that were rapidly becoming distracting. "I mean-"

"Mmm. I think I’ll show you." Loki inhaled against Steve’s neck, like he was taking a deep breath of the smell of his skin, and then pulled him into a ferocious kiss, mouth almost devouring Steve’s, his whole body moving with it, hands stroking forcefully down Steve’s back, pushing the sheet down, and Steve sank into it, let himself just feel. He slid both hands into Loki’s hair, savoring the feeling of it on his fingers and the way Loki tilted his head into Steve’s touch.

He waited until Steve was relaxed, entirely distracted, and then Loki rolled him to his back with embarrassing ease. He pushed himself up off his shoulders so he was sitting up and straddling Steve’s waist. Steve stared at him, feeling a little dazed and breathing hard. “What’re you,” he started to ask, and then Loki shifted his hips back and Steve’s cock rubbed against the curve of his ass, skin rubbing deliciously against skin and his cock stiffening further. A thin, strangled sound slipped out of him, and Loki smiled, his fingers trailing down Steve’s chest with a whisper light touch. He moved again, this time rolling his hips in a deliberate motion that ground Steve harder against him, and made him wonder what it would be like to watch Loki actually-

"What are you thinking?" Loki asked lowly, and his thumbs stroked lightly over Steve’s nipples. He twitched. 

"Um," he said, and wasn’t quite sure how to say it. Loki leaned forward a little and lowered his voice, like he was telling a secret. 

"Are you thinking about watching me ride your cock?"

Steve’s whole body flushed and his hips bucked upwards. Loki grinned, a slightly wicked expression that just made him warmer, and moved back so he was sitting on Steve’s thighs. Loki’s hand curved gently around the shaft of his erection, and his back arched, trying to push up into the loose clasp of Loki’s palm. His thumb rubbed slow circles on the underside, and Steve squirmed helplessly. 

"How can I-"

"Another time. For now…" Loki pulled his hand away, trailing a long index finger down to the base and over Steve’s balls, then drawing that away as well. Steve swallowed a small sound of protest. "Just watch," Loki murmured, and rose up on his knees, hand going to his own erect cock, giving it a few pulls before he shifted again. He reached now for the little jar of oil and swiped two fingers through it, coating them in slick, clear fluid before he slipped his hand back between his legs.

Steve’s eyes followed his hands as he moved it back behind his balls. He couldn’t see his fingers moving, so he looked up to Loki’s face and watched his eyelids flutter and his mouth open slightly. His stomach knotted nervously but he couldn’t look away, couldn’t stop watching the way Loki’s chest moved as he heaved in a breath, his hips pushing into his own hand, and if he hadn’t really seriously considered it before, or hadn’t thought he would want to…

Now he wanted to. If nothing else, to see that look on Loki’s face and know that he’d put it there. Loki’s erection hadn’t flagged in the least - if anything, only seemed to have grown, a sheen of fluid where the tip hit his stomach with every rock of his hips. Loki’s legs splayed wider, obscenely wide, and for just a moment Steve could see Loki’s fingers buried inside his own body, the slight red of stretched skin around three fingers.

His breathing snagged, and he felt a fresh throb from the now acute ache in his groin. “Loki,” he said, and it came out sounding a little thin. His hands groped for Loki’s hips, ran down his thighs, back up, savoring just the feel of his skin. Loki’s free hand came and started stroking him again, drawing him up toward the edge and then slowing just enough that he slid back from it again until he was almost frantic with it, with the need for more. 

"Are you ready?" Loki sounded playful, teasing, and only slightly breathless. 

"Yes," Steve said, his hips twisting out of his control, seeking friction. "—unh - do you - condom-"

Loki waggled a colorful packet at him he’d summoned from somewhere, and ripped it open with his teeth. He extracted the condom with two fingers and rolled it smoothly, slowly down. Steve arched into that, and couldn’t quite find it in him to be embarrassed. Loki’s eyes were intent as he coated his hand with lube again and moved to slick Steve’s cock with it, hand jacking up and down in long, lazy,  _tantalizing_ tugs.

"Just," Steve said, feeling a twinge of impatience, and Loki raised himself up and lowered himself just enough that the head of Steve’s cock pushed against the seam of his ass. Steve slid his hands down to grip the swell of his buttocks in either palm, fingers digging in almost unconsciously, and Loki made a soft sound in his throat and pushed down.

“ _Ah,_ " Loki said, the sound almost sharp, and his hands clenched on Steve’s hips.  _Tight,_ Steve thought,  _it’s too,_ but the unconscious buck of his hips pushed him another inch in and he squeezed his eyes closed because he thought they might pop out of his head otherwise. The muscles of Loki’s ass clenched and relaxed in his hands, his breathing taking on a ragged, uneven sound, but when Steve forced his eyes open his cock looked harder than ever, leaking copiously. 

"Are you," Steve forced out, "Are you oka-aaaaugh," his voice breaking off as Loki’s hips pushed down one last time, slowly taking in the rest of him until he bottomed out, balls pressed between them. His hips moved in little helpless jerks, like he could possibly get any deeper. Loki panted twice, and then grinned. There was a flush spread all up his chest, his eyes almost fever bright. His hips rocked and this time Steve couldn’t hold in the whine. It was hot and tight and seated together, joined like this…Loki braced his hands on Steve’s ribs, a sheen of sweat on his skin. 

"How does it feel," he asked, breathless, and then moved, even with the lubricant the slow drag friction of his cock inside Loki was almost too much, too intense, but he didn’t think he’d ever tell Loki to stop. He didn’t try to answer, just reached up to grab Loki’s head and drag him down, kissing him with deep hunger and determination. His hips bucked up at the same time Loki pushed back, and they came together again, and then Loki was moving in earnest, the way getting easier, his hips adopting a rhythm to their thrusts. 

Loki planted his hands on Steve’s shoulders and pushed them apart, sitting up, and Steve let his head fall back and watched him move, watched his legs spread wider apart as he bobbed up and down and Steve wasn’t going to be able to hold on, was just-

Loki’s head was back, his eyes closed and his mouth open, making unquiet moaning noises with every thrust, every time their bodies came together. Steve groped for his cock and wrapped his fist around flesh already slick with pre-come, began working it as best as he could when his eyes kept trying to close and every movement sent a spike of pleasure deep into his belly, flooding through his nerves and leaving him overwhelmed and dazed. The pace picked up and it was the feeling of being buried in Loki’s body, it was the sharp little gasps and cries almost pushed from his throat, it was the already furious pace quickening and he came  _hard,_ sinking his teeth into his lip so he didn’t yell, the force of it shuddering through him until his thoughts whited out. 

Loki’s fingers kneaded into his chest. Steve realized, when he could think again, that Loki’s cock was still hot and full in his hand, and resumed the motion of his hand. He felt dazed and slightly bewildered, his thoughts a spin of satiated lust and slightly dazed amazement. He felt Loki’s come splatter his chest a few strokes later, and the sound of him making a loud sound that made Steve flush all over again, imagining the whole tower would hear. Then he slumped down onto Steve’s chest, body slack and heavy, shifting only enough that Steve’s cock slid out of him.

"Oh," Steve said, after a few moments of silence in which it was just their breathing. 

"Mmm," Loki said, lazily, and pressed an open-mouthed kiss to Steve’s shoulder, mouthing at it gently. "Well?"

"Yeah," Steve managed, and hoped that the tone of his voice spoke for itself.


	4. masturbation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place shortly after the end of "with an untrained voice," when Loki has first moved residence into Avengers Tower.

There were fifteen cameras scattered through his new quarters. They were relatively well hidden, but not well hidden enough that Loki had not managed to find them within an hour. He considered disabling them entirely, simply to make a point, and ultimately left most and only removed one for the purpose of dismantling it to examine its innards. He learned little from them, but it was entertaining nonetheless. 

The second day in his gilded jail cell, he began to grow bored. Further investigation unearthed three devices that he ascertained were meant to disseminate something. Poison, he thought, was probably likely. The ceiling-voice - some type of computer dubbed Jarvis, he’d heard at one point - apologized when the hot water of his shower turned off midway through, but it did not sound terribly sincere. Loki felt his temper prickle, and pushed it down. 

He’d known what he would face, coming here. He’d made an oath to himself nonetheless. There were few other options. It was becoming too dangerous to be alone. And besides-

Besides. 

Loki paused, towel wrapped around his waist, and looked up at one of the cameras in the corner of his bedroom, remote eyes watching him. The Avengers’ eyes. He wondered if they were looking now. 

His eyes narrowed.

He pulled his eyes from the camera and dropped the towel to pad over to his bed. At least that was comfortable - more so than many of the places he’d slept of late. And large. Hopefully he would have uses for that space later. 

(Though of course, that would depend if…)

He stretched out on his back and folded his hands behind his head, letting his eyes half close for a moment.  _Are you watching?_ he wondered, in silence.  _Are you wondering what I’m thinking? What I’m planning?_

That they still feared him was somewhat satisfying, even if it made things more difficult. Nonetheless. He cared little for the thoughts of Stark and Romanov and the rest. There was only one here whose thoughts concerned him. 

Steve Rogers. Captain America. A curiosity and an enigma and one he was unspeakably, inevitably drawn to. 

Loki sketched him in his mind as though he were here, standing upright with perfect posture, watching him lying like this. Imagined the way his eyes would drift downward with almost shy lust. Imagined him coming over as though drawn by a fishing line, climbing onto the bed and stretching out over him. 

He would be gentle, likely, at first. Loki would soon chase that away. Would tease him with teeth and lips and tongue until he was frantic as he’d been that single night when they’d been interrupted so rudely. Loki removed his hands from behind his head and slid one down over his stomach, slowly. He remembered the way the captain’s mouth felt on his skin, hot, clumsy but determined, and remembered the way his fingers had tugged in Loki’s hair. His fingers reached his low belly and Loki felt his skin twitch under his own hand, and tried to imagine Steve’s instead, callused palms slightly rough, his eyes on Loki’s face. His expression would be intent. Curious, perhaps. Bright blue eyes slightly glazed. 

His cock twitched against his thigh, started to fill. He wondered who was looking at the cameras now. If anyone was. Wondered what they would think if he moaned their Captain’s name when he came. 

Loki let his legs fall slightly further apart and wrapped his hand loosely around the base of his cock, letting his mind supply Steve straddling his thighs, his penis erect, the sound of his breathing loud. He filled in the details of that member - the slight curve, flushed a shade of deep red and well proportioned. The defined musculature of the stomach it bobbed up against. He wondered if the Captain had been with another man, or if he would be his first. If he would be ashamed and abashed or eager. Loki wasn’t certain which he would prefer.

For the moment, though - he tightened his hand, imagined confidence and surety to the first stroke, twisting his hand so his fingers slid along the vein on the underside. He let himself arch shamelessly into his own hand, opening his mouth with a low moan.  _What if Steve sees this,_ the thought popped into his head, and the curious twist of mingled desire and anxiety tightened low in his belly, making him perversely harder. 

He wondered if the Captain had any secret desires of his own. Any deep, dark fantasies that he could tease out. He wondered how horrified the man would be by Loki’s own, how he would recoil if he knew what Loki in the privacy of his own mind had pictured him doing to him-

(He still remembered, vividly, the dream that had ended with the Captain bending him over a table and fucking him viciously until he screamed. It hadn’t been a show of affection. He hadn’t fought it, though.)

Loki opened his eyes and exhaled sharply, sliding his hand up and down again, the stroke this time almost harsh. His cock was full in his hand, warm against his palm. In his mind’s eye, the expression of the Steve crouched over him turned from lust to faint distaste, and he fought to shift it back to the other even if the latter didn’t dim his arousal.  _Pervert,_ he thought viciously, but what did it matter? His own thoughts. Why bother with shame for them?

He set a pace, swiping some of the pre-come leaking to give himself a bit of lubrication. Loki stroked himself with a deliberate rhythm, twisting his hand to push his thumb up under the head, back down to squeeze around the base. He let his hips rut up into it, aware of the eyes on him, arching his back to display his body and moaning wanton, loud. He closed his eyes again and let it be Steve giving long pulls on his cock, imagined he could feel the pressure and heat of his body, imagined pulling him down so he could leave livid bite marks down the untouched skin of his neck, Steve’s hand still trapped between their bodies and he could rut himself to completion like that, just from the friction of being pressed against him.

The yell that burst from his throat as he came was unfeigned, his hand squeezing almost involuntarily as he pictured the sight of his come smeared on Steve’s chest and belly, pictured pushing him down onto his back to lick it off. He worked himself through it, breathing coming hard, bucking against his hand in little thrusts. He bit down on the name, though he wasn’t sure why, as his body arched off the bed and then dropped back. 

He pulled his hand away, wiping the mess on his hand on his leg, simply lying back until his breathing slowed. He rolled to his feet, then, and glanced up at the camera once more. 

And let himself smile.


	5. oral sex

There was a curious look in Steve’s eyes when Loki returned with a damp washcloth to clean both of them up, feeling agreeably loose as he ever did after, as though he’d spent an hour in a warm bath. Something about Steve’s expression made something prickle across his skin anew, though. 

He raised his eyebrows. “Planning something?” 

Steve blinked, and then looked a little sheepish. So he’d been unaware of his own expression. Loki could not help but find that - slightly endearing. “What? Oh, I-” He broke off, and then shook his head, his ears turning slightly pink. “—nothing.” 

"Mmhm," Loki said mildly, but let it pass, climbing back onto the bed and beginning to wipe Steve’s chest and stomach clean, his own body already taken care of. He kept his eyes away from Steve’s, and felt him looking. Thinking through something. Loki waited; he’d come to it eventually. 

He folded the dirtied washcloth carefully and dropped it over the side of the bed. He’d hardly started to turn back before Steve apparently made up his mind, reaching quickly to pull him back and into a kiss, his initiation making Loki’s body tense pleasantly. He let his lips part, tongue teasing out as an invitation that Steve took. 

Just as Loki was about to push into him, nudge Steve over so he could rub his whole body more fully against his, Steve moved again, shifting quickly, and Loki found himself rather suddenly on his back, Steve’s arms braced on either side of him, hips pinning him down. 

A shudder ran through his whole body and Loki almost went limp, his hands going up to Steve’s shoulders more out of reflex than anything, heat flooding down into his belly and groin. He exhaled into Steve’s mouth, and if this was new, it was also-

Steve pulled away a little. “All right?” he said, sounding a little worried, and Loki couldn’t help a hoarse laugh. 

_Yes. Oh yes. You have no idea what I would let you do to me, and rejoice in it._ "Ah…yes. Very much so."

"Good," Steve said, sounding gratified, and bent his head down a little. Loki let his head fall back, exposing his throat without the request being spoken, and let his eyes float closed so he wouldn’t know-

His skin prickled with Steve’s breath in the moment before his lips touched his neck. Loki took a sharp breath through his nose at the touch of teeth in the first kiss.  _He learns fast,_ Loki couldn’t help but think, and there was a touch of pride in it.  _  
_

Steve trailed his lips down until he reached the hollow at the base of Loki’s throat, and dipped his tongue into it, the tip probing the divot in his skin. He felt it all across his collarbones, the feeling spidering down over his chest, waking up his nerves to alertness. “Hmm,” he murmured, letting his hands slide down over the muscles of Steve’s back. “That’s…pleasant.”

"Good," Steve said again, "t’s supposed to be," mumbled into his skin, and started a new line of kisses down to Loki’s sternum, exploring the space under his collarbones. Loki’s body twitched up underneath him. 

"And you claim I tease," he pushed out. 

"I’m not teasing, I’m just…" Steve trailed off a little, but he drifted down a little further, shifting his body back. When he lowered his head again, it was to one of Loki’s nipples, and even if he only sucked lightly Loki felt it flood through him, his hips bucking up violently as his cock filled. He tried to grind up against Steve as his tongue touched the sensitive bud. 

"Not teasing," he said, his voice sounding only a little breathless. "I - mmn - see."

Steve was already moving on, though, his exploratory kisses shorter, a little less lingering. =As Steve mouthed above his navel, the flat of his teeth brushing skin again and making Loki shiver, one of his hands spread flat over Loki’s hip. 

"Hnnh," Loki heard himself say, as Steve’s mouth dipped still lower and his chin nudged against Loki’s cock. " _Steve-_ " Steve pulled away, and Loki opened his eyes, craned his head so he could see Steve straddling his legs, sitting up with a look of mingled determination and nervousness on his face. Loki’s breathing snagged and he started, reflexively, to push himself up. "You needn’t-"

"I know," Steve said, and Loki’s voice died as he shimmied down a little further. His breathing quickened in anticipation. "Just tell me - tell me if there’s anything…specific you want," and his ears were slightly pink but his voice was completely sure, and then his head bent and Loki had to fight not to push his hips up as Steve took his shaft in one hand and took just his cockhead into his mouth. 

He wasn’t, critically speaking, skilled. Far from the best who’d ever touched him like this. And yet - and yet-

Just that much had his whole body vibrating, and just for a moment he pictured Steve sliding his mouth slowly all the way down and had to fight all over again to keep from thrusting heedlessly upwards. “Ah -  _aaah-_ " He sucked in a sharp breath, and forced it out. "—your tongue. Use your tongue right-" The air escaped him in a hiss as Steve’s tongue probed obediently over the sensitive tip, slid over the slit and pulled back. His arms supporting himself gave up, the sensation feeling amplified, intensified, and he couldn’t he  _couldn’t-_

Steve’s mouth eased down a little lower, slowly, his tongue still exploring, and then he sucked lightly, and Loki couldn’t keep his body from jerking as his arms gave out and he fell back, prone. Steve made a sharp, startled noise and pulled up, though not fully away, and a moment later he lowered his head again, his fist wrapped around Loki’s base tightening what felt like reflexively. He twisted, squirming, startled by his own responses and the way his thoughts kept - fuzzing. 

"Just like," Loki tried to say, and had to pant a few times. "—just like that. Unnnh-"

Steve’s tongue was clumsy but eager in its strokes, the alternating suction making Loki’s eyes slam closed no matter how he tried to keep them open. He canted his head so he could look down his body, see Steve moving his head up and down, sliding along his cock, cheeks hollowed when he sucked. He looked disheveled, lips bright red and hair mussed.

The thought popped into his head,  _he looks ruined,_ and Loki felt a strange twist low in his stomach, somewhere between desire or arousal and a bitter kind of disgust, too tangled to separate. The combination made him squirm and gasp, ugly hate coiling inward to poison the bliss of the flesh-

Steve took him in a little deeper, then, and stopped short. His tongue pressed urgently upward as he met his gag reflex and pulled back from it, for just a moment the light brush of teeth unintentionally present against skin alight with sensation, even that touch enough to  _hurt,_ and Loki surrendered to it. 

Steve pulled back as he came, the first pulse of it nonetheless spotting his chin with white before he used his hand to work him through the rest. His body clenched in orgasm, Loki nonetheless made his eyes stay open. Looked at Steve, and looked at his eyes. 

He couldn’t see any regret. Just satisfaction, and more than a touch of lust. Loki pulled him up and kissed him fiercely, tasting himself on Steve’s lips and offering his leg to grind against, and dismissed the thought. 


	6. clothed getting off

The movie wasn’t very good. 

It had come recommended by one of the papers, but far more interesting was the way Loki, who had apparently quickly given up paying attention, was exploring the contours of Steve’s neck and shoulder with his tongue, making his skin tingle. A bright feeling. And the occasional sharp little nips-

"I can turn it off," he offered, a little bit distractedly. Loki hummed. 

"It makes decent background noise," he offered, and then ran the flat of his tongue in a long line up his throat, pushing into him, not quite draped over his lap, Loki’s hipbone digging into Steve’s thigh.

He just tilted his head back with an involuntary little noise, giving up altogether on trying to watch the film. Loki’s fingers dug deep into the muscle of his shoulders as he resumed light, trailing kisses up Steve’s neck to his jawline, down his jawline until Steve turned his head sharply and caught Loki’s mouth with his, kissed him almost with determination. Loki shifted slightly, one of his knees coming up across Steve’s body. He dropped a hand down to grip the lean muscle of Loki’s thigh and felt it flex against his hand, felt his hips push a little toward Steve’s.

Steve felt his own body warm, the rhythm of his breathing hitching slightly. “We could move,” he said, when Loki pulled back for a moment to run his tongue into the hollow under his ear, let it flutter against the skin in a way that made Steve shiver. “—bed’s-“

"Hmm-mm," Loki said, in what sounded vaguely like agreement, but then he was sucking on the skin at Steve’s neck and Steve jerked, heat rushing to his groin. His fingers dug into Loki’s leg across his lap, and Loki’s hips ground down against his again, a little harder. He could feel the push of Loki’s hardening cock against his leg, and moved his hands to try to remove Loki’s tunic, but Loki caught them both and pinned them back to the couch. "Ah," he said, chidingly. "Patience."

He leaned in again, their bodies rocking together, and Steve could  _almost_ feel Loki brush against him, but not  _quite._ He let his hands slide down over Loki’s hips to his buttocks and tried to pull him closer. 

Loki’s teeth caught his earlobe and Steve started, his entire body seizing up. A moment later he released it, though, and murmured in Steve’s ear, “You like it when I talk to you, don’t you.” 

 _Oh._ Steve swallowed hard, feeling  _that_ voice slide down to his bones and imagining he could feel it in his whole body, almost a touch itself. 

"I wonder sometimes how far I could take you if I just…spoke to you." Steve felt a pleasant shiver travel down his spine, and his cock twitched in interest. "How desperate I could make you without a single touch." Their bodies were pressed together, but it didn’t feel like enough. "What do you think?" 

There was a slightly smug note to Loki’s voice. Steve twisted, bringing his hip deliberately up between Loki’s legs, and Loki let out a sharp gasp, his hips rutting down and his head dropping, catching at the skin of Steve’s neck, rolling it between his teeth. “I think,” Steve managed to push out, already feeling a little breathless, “—I think you should take your clothes off and let me-” That was as far as he could get before Loki’s mouth was back on his, his tongue insistent as it thrust between Steve’s parted lips. For several long moments they stayed like that, with ferocious need driving them back and forth, their bodies rocking together in little thrusts seeking friction between their bodies. 

Loki drew back, his breathing quick and slightly harsh. Steve’s head fell back against the couch with a quiet thunk, and he tried to catch his breath, but only had a few moments. Then Loki’s right hand slipped down between their bodies, his hips shifting to sit more squarely across Steve’s lap and to make room, and cupped the by now prominent bulge in his pants. 

The noise Steve made was powerfully embarrassing. The way his hips bucked up uncontrollably again even that light pressure would have been as well, except for the fact that the light way Loki was stroking him through the fabric quickly chased the desire away. His back arched off the couch, pleasure tightening toward need in his low belly. 

"Loki," he made himself say, "Loki -  _ah -_ I need to-“

Loki’s eyebrows rose. “Oh?” he said, and there was only a slight breathlessness there that made Steve want to growl. How could he - it wasn’t fair that-

He slid his hand up Loki’s thigh and pressed the heel of his palm against the hot pressure of his trapped cock. Loki’s voice broke off into a sound halfway between a whine and a yelp, and his hips rutted into Steve’s palm. Steve felt his own cock harden at the reaction, a surge of warm satisfaction flooding into him so strongly that it took him by surprise. 

The hand working him through his khakis didn’t falter in the least, though, just increased the pressure, fingers teasing and pushing and the fabric of his boxers felt too harsh against increasingly sensitive flesh, rubbing against his cock. He pulled Loki in with his free hand, this time fastening his own mouth just below the curve of his jawline, and sucking hard. 

Loki’s body jerked with a low moan, and Steve felt Loki’s cock twitch under his hand. He quickened the pace of his attentions, even as his pace stuttered for the way Loki was teasing him-

His hips strained as Loki lightened his touch for a moment, sliding back from the edge he’d been approaching. “Ohnn - Loki, I need to - I need to come, I need to-“

Loki’s breath was warm and fast on his neck, and the way his hips rutted against Steve’s hand was decidedly urgent. He could feel something damp on his palm. “Then -  _come._ " Loki’s fingers flexed, and Steve just swallowed a whine. 

"I - my clothes," Steve said, "I’m going to-"

Loki’s mouth fixed to his neck again. He tongued the skin, pulled away. “Yes,” he said, something dark and low in his voice. “I know. I want that. I want you to ruin your clothes, to let go and surrender and do something  _dirty._ I want you to feel your own come between your legs and then I’ll strip you naked and lick you slowly clean-“

Steve’s breathing snagged, and he felt his whole body seize up. Loki’s palm ground down, and he didn’t manage to bite his lip soon enough to hold back a yell as he came, Loki’s fingers massaging him all the way through it.

His heart was still pounding as he slowly came down and realized that Loki was still thrusting against his hand. He felt - wet, a spreading stain on the front of his khakis, his boxers sticking to his skin where they were soaked with come. And strangely…relieved. 

He started stroking Loki again, moving his hand in a steady rhythm even as Loki’s hips stuttered and his head fell back. He left his hand cupped over Loki’s cock as he came, pushing the palm of his hand in little pulses. 

Loki kissed him as the motion of his hips slowed, open-mouthed and loose, and the faintly uncomfortable feeling of his damp boxers faded to relative insignificance against the way Loki’s hands slid down his chest and the weight of his body resting against him. 


	7. dressed/naked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of the days where I really started to realize that I was setting something up that I was going to need to resolve. So note - some unhealthy relationship with sex (on Loki's end) coming into play here.

Steve didn’t see Loki for a moment when he let himself into the apartment, and felt his stomach drop with something close to panic. “Loki?” he called, several worst case scenarios flashing through his mind at once. If someone had gotten past the security - or if Loki had just-

"A moment," his voice called from down the hallway toward the bedroom, and Steve couldn’t help a sigh of relief, though he felt guilty for it a moment later. He looked around the room, wondering if he should sit, and then heard the soft sound of bare feet on tile and turned around. 

He blinked, slightly startled. Loki’s hair was slicked flat to his head, a few stray droplets of water dripping where the ends were stuck to his neck, and the only thing he was wearing was a white towel wrapped around his waist, held up at one hip and slipping down the other enough that his hipbone just showed.

Steve stared, just a little. He looked like - well - he looked like one of the white marble statues he pictured thinking of classical art. Adonis or Ganymede or-

Loki’s eyebrows ticked up slightly, and his lips twitched. “Ought I to go put something on?” 

"Um," Steve said articulately. He was divided on that question. Part of him thought yes, probably, that would be good. Most of him was far less interested in being reasonable. His eyes kept sticking on that downward tilt of his hipbone disappearing under the towel. 

"I did not wish to keep you waiting." Steve bit the inside of his cheek and tried to make himself focus and not think too much about pushing Loki back against the nearest wall and kissing him until they were both breathless. To start. 

"It’s fine," he said, after a moment, and if his voice sounded a little odd he hoped Loki didn’t notice. "I was just…" he made a vague gesture, managing finally to pull his eyes away. It wasn’t like he’d - never seen him naked before. 

Maybe it was the fact that he was…wet. There was a drop of water sliding down his sternum.

He forced his eyes back up to Loki’s face and found his expression distinctly amused. “Well,” he murmured. “Keep looking at me like that, Captain, and you’re going to make me blush.”

That picture crawled into his head, then, A flush spread over Loki’s face down to his neck and over his chest, his skin warm under Steve’s hands-

He felt his own face warm. 

Loki strolled over, something about the movement drawing Steve’s eyes down his body again before he could make them meet Loki’s as he paused, dangerously close. He was smiling, just a little, a wicked glint in his eyes. Warmth welled up pleasantly in Steve’s stomach. 

"I didn’t expect to get such a reaction." 

Steve shrugged a little helplessly. “Well…”

The hand that wasn’t holding up the towel drifted up and cupped his face to pull him into a slow, long, intimate kiss. Steve leaned into it with a little sigh, stepping in closer and deepening the kiss by just a bit. Steve opened his eyes and found Loki’s closed, his fingers caressing the skin of his jaw lightly. 

Then his other hand released the towel, letting it fall around his feet. 

Steve made a small, indistinct sound and pulled back as Loki’s hand landed lightly on his waist. “Oh,” he said, and then, “you lost…”

"Leave it." Loki’s hands planted in the middle of his chest and gave him a little nudge back, steering him backwards. His voice sounded just slightly roughened. Steve left it, and instead went for Loki’s neck, biting down lightly on the thin skin just below his ear to feel Loki shudder and twitch.

An idea nudged into his head and he balked, placing his hands on either one of Loki’s (naked) shoulders. “Let me,” he started, and then had to stop, pause, and try again. “—I want to look at you. I want to - unh-” Loki’s teeth nipped at his neck, breaking off his thoughts, and Steve tightened his grip on his shoulders. “—stop that,” he said, but the little surge of want gave him the ability to say, “Sit down on the couch and let me make you come.” 

He felt Loki’s whole body shiver against him, and the quiet little sound in his throat. “Oh, well,” he murmured, against Steve’s skin. “Since you said so.” 

Loki drew back slowly, his fingers trailing across Steve’s chest as he sauntered around him and over to the couch. Steve watched the muscles in his back move under the skin, let his eyes move down to the narrow plane of his waist and the lean muscle of his buttocks. Loki glanced over his shoulder briefly, smirked, and then flung himself on the couch in a sprawl. 

Steve followed him over, Loki’s thighs spread deliberately wide and his head back, neck extended. Even like that, provocatively posed and naked as sin, he looked - lordly. Regal. Steve felt his heartbeat pick up and his cock responding inside his khakis, the desire bubbling up in him to see that undone, to watch all the masks break away until Loki was undone with pleasure, until he slipped over into bliss. 

He dropped down to his knees between Loki’s legs. Loki shifted, his lazily half closed eyes opening a little more, a frown touching the corner of his lips, but Steve reached out and ran both his hands up the inside of Loki’s thighs, and Loki shivered, his head dropping back with nothing more than a small sigh, though one of his hands came up and then dropped back down, curling into a fist in the couch cushions. Steve couldn’t help a small, slightly satisfied smile as he watched Loki’s cock begin to fill, and felt an answering small tug down between his own legs. Not yet overpowering, though. Loki’s legs fell farther apart, and Steve palmed his cock, gave it a slow, gentle, tug. 

Loki’s fingers slid into his hair and Steve could feel the muscles of his thighs tense on either side of him. “You’re beautiful,” he said sincerely, looking up at Loki’s face, his eyes fluttering between open and closed. Loki made a small sound that Steve couldn’t quite interpret. “I like…I like looking at you. Like this.” He let his hand squeeze around the base of Loki’s cock, felt his hips push into that pressure. The words felt awkward in his mouth, but the way Loki tensed and then relaxed, muscles almost spasming, made it worth the strangeness.

"You should talk more often," Loki said, and his voice sounded slightly breathless. Steve let his thumb slide down and press a little just between the base of Loki’s cock and his balls. Loki jerked and the warmth in Steve’s belly and groin was beginning to become an ache. 

"Most of the time I don’t really feel like I’m quite able," Steve said, and then flushed, but only a little. He considered mentioning the lack of lube, but didn’t want to pause, and just pulled his hand away long enough to spit on his palm and use that. He let his hand slide up the shaft, giving another little tug, and this time letting his thumb run over the head, pre-come welling up at his touch. Loki’s body arched, his hips twisting, and he made a thin sound, a little like a whine. His teeth bared, almost, though the expression wasn’t one of anger. 

"You don’t need to be so gentle," Loki said, his fingernails digging into Steve’s scalp. "I’m not going to -  _ohh-_ ”

Steve felt his own body pulse at that noise, and repeated the motion that had triggered it, and realized that the side of his thumbnail was just skimming over the slit in Loki’s cock. He started a little, about to apologize, but the sound Loki made was a low and slightly ragged moan, and Loki’s cock seemed to harden further in Steve’s hand, pre-come leaking to where Steve could use it to further slick his palm. Loki’s chest heaved once, and Steve felt suddenly unsure. 

"—Loki," he said, carefully, but Loki’s hand loosened in his hair and slid back. 

"Go," he said, and his voice was definitely rough now. "Don’t you dare - not now-" His hips bucked up into Steve’s hand, and his legs came up and locked around Steve’s back, pulling him closer, his heels digging in. Steve started a rhythm with his strokes, feeling his pants tight and his arousal a fierce ache, and his misgivings faded with the way Loki moved, the way his body bucked and arched and the breathy little sounds he made-

Steve fixed his eyes on Loki’s face. His eyes were still fluttering between open and closed, but mostly closed, his head thrown back not a pose now, his mouth open. He slowed the pace of his hand and Loki made a plaintive noise in his throat. 

"Tease," he said, almost a gasp. Steve bit his lip. "When I - when I finish I am going to-" His voice broke off in a sharp sound, somewhere between a moan and a yelp, and the pace of Steve’s strokes quickened, almost unconsciously, Loki’s body straining, his hand leaving Steve’s hair, both clenched in the cushions so hard he thought they might tear. "Faster," Loki urged, and then, harsher, " _I can take-_ ”

On an urge half dark and wanting and half out of a kind of desperate - not curiosity, a need to know, Steve slid his hand up, found the nerve cluster at the crown, lined up his thumbnail and pressed it in, just a little harder than he would have done. 

Loki’s whole body surged up, his back bending like a bow, and the sound he made was almost indescribable, loud and sharp, both moan and cry. His eyes opened impossibly wide, his pulse almost visible beating wildly in his neck, and it wasn’t exactly  _bliss,_ was something else, that made something hot clench in Steve’s belly, fierce want and fiercer - almost protectiveness, because it was vulnerability of a kind, nakedness deeper than skin. Loki came violently into his hand, his hips continuing to move in desperate little thrusts, and Steve let his hand slide down and stroked him gently through it, an unquiet feeling at the back of his mind. 

Loki slumped, eventually, but he reached down and grabbed Steve’s shoulders, tugged at him. He crawled up onto the couch and shifted to pull Loki against him, to hold him with his naked limbs folded up and his head lolling on Steve’s shoulder. His thoughts were abuzz. 

Steve let his hand stroke lightly down Loki’s back, trying to ignore the throb in his own groin. Loki seemed to have forgotten, his body limp, like something had been purged from him more than usual. 

_I love you,_ Steve wanted to say, but the words stuck in his throat. He couldn’t be sure how they’d be taken.  _You know that, right?_

Loki’s fingers stroked his chest idly and slid slowly down. “May I?” he murmured, voice slightly blurred, and Steve hesitated, but caught his wrist, gently.

"Later," he said, and thought for a moment Loki had heard something in his voice, but he settled quietly, his breathing slow and even. Calm.


	8. telepathy sex

 It hadn’t taken Steve five minutes to realize that he was here more as an ego boost for the guy on stage than anything else, and only a little bit of conversation to wish he hadn’t agreed to come, even if it was just for a couple days. Even if there was nothing immediate at the moment, if something came up…

_I miss you._

Steve sat up sharply. Loki didn’t speak to him like that often, and Steve suspected it was because he knew that he was not altogether comfortable with it, but - hearing (if he could call it that) Loki’s voice at the back of his mind now was strangely reassuring, and that he’d said…

_It’s terribly dull. I really don’t know what to do with myself._  Steve smiled a little. Of course he would undercut that simple, small admission - too close to an expression of need _-_ with his usual dryness.

It was still strange, but…  _I’m sorry,_ Steve tried, imagining speaking across the distance.  _I’ll be back soon._

_Mmm. Nonetheless…I_ _was taking a nap, and had the most delightful dream._ He could almost hear Loki’s voice, smooth and with a note to it that warmed him a little.  _I was lying on my bed with my legs around your waist, and you were fucking me open in deep, slow strokes-_

Steve felt his whole body flush.  _I’m in public,_ he thought, ferociously, and almost said out loud, close enough that the “I’m in,” slipped out, and the woman sitting next to him gave him an odd look. 

_Oh?_ Damn, Steve thought, with deliberate vehemence. He shouldn’t have said anything.

_Listening to a speech,_ he added, hoping that would help.  _Some politician…_

_I see._  Steve felt a peculiar swooping in his stomach that wasn’t quite a sinking feeling.  _It must be riveting._ Steve hesitated, for a long moment. Apparently just long enough.  _You’re thinking about it now._ Loki sounded decidedly smug.  _My heels digging into the small of your back. My skin warmed where your hands grip. The way my back would arch and the sounds I’d make, low and full of lust._  Steve shifted uncomfortably in his chair, beginning to feel himself sweat. It wasn’t quite as strong, listening to him talk like this, but it was still…  _I am as well. I can almost feel the heat of you._

Steve shifted and swallowed hard.  _Loki,_ he said, trying to make it chiding, but he had a feeling it probably sounded a little more plaintive. How was he supposed to control  _tone_ in his  _thoughts?_   _I’m serious. There are people all around me._

_Do you want me to stop?_  Steve thought he could hear amusement, or maybe feel it, resonating along the connection between them. Steve hesitated again, glanced toward the stage.  _It didn’t end there, you know,_ Loki said helpfully.  _After you’d taken me once, you did again, and I could feel you so very deep inside me…_

Steve felt his cock stir with interest and jumped to his feet, quickly.  _Just a second,_ he thought, wildly, and headed for the door. A few heads turned to watch him go, but the politician didn’t hitch even slightly. He stopped outside the door and took a few deep breaths, feeling like - some kind of teenager unable to control his impulses. 

_Should I apologize?_ Curiously enough, the question seemed sincere. Steve took a deep breath and thought about telling Loki that he needed to go back; though about going back and sitting down and listening to that man talk for another forty-five minutes. 

_No,_ he thought, finally.

_Good,_ was Loki’s response.  _I want you to touch yourself. Wrap your hand around your cock and imagine that it’s me, and that you’re here and sliding in a little at a time-_

Steve looked for a bathroom, hurriedly, found one, and headed for it, feeling his whole body respond, and picturing it too, the look on Loki’s face, the way his body would twitch and strain and shudder, so incredibly responsive to every single small thing Steve did.  _Are you,_ he started to think, and then stopped the thought, not sure how to complete it. 

_Considering fingering myself open so I can better imagine the feeling of being full of your cock._ Steve’s stomach clenched, swooping a little at the - almost obscenity of the words, spoken in Loki’s smooth, elegant voice. His breathing felt a little short and he reached down to unbutton his khakis, feeling a little clumsy.  _Wishing it were your hands so I could feel them almost burn against my skin._ Steve bit his lip hard as his fingers pulling the zipper down brushed against his already prominent erection. 

_I wish I could touch you,_ Steve thought, honestly, and with more than a shade of longing.  _I wish I could-_ even thinking the words was hard.  _I’m thinking about the way your face - the way you look when you feel…good. The way your body feels._

He wasn’t sure if the sigh was felt or heard.  _I’d leave marks all over your neck, down your shoulders, so everyone would know, so that no one could look at you and not know_  exactly-

Steve shoved his pants and boxers together over his hips, wrapped his hand around himself, feeling frantic. “Slow down,” he said, aloud, and then took a deep breath and thought it,  _slow down._ He could almost hear Loki laugh. 

_Overwhelmed? Good. I want you to be. I want you to be swamped in feeling, your belly clenching with pleasure, your cock an acute ache between your legs. I want you to be so desperate you can’t hold it in. Then you can come back and fuck me until neither of us can breathe, until we both collapse in something almost agony and fall asleep still smeared with our mess._ Steve’s mouth went dry, and his cock throbbed in his hand. He squeezed his eyes closed.  _I want to dig my teeth into your shoulder as I come for a third, fourth, fifth time. I want to feel you come inside me with nothing between skin and skin. I want-_

_Loki,_ Steve thought, and said, too, maybe, his hand working at an almost brutal pace. This time it was definitely plaintive.  _God, I-_  His whole body felt like a knot, urgency building in him, and he pictured Loki, back in New York, doing the same as he was now, spread out on the bed with his cheeks flushed and his eyes closed, making those unquiet, hungry sounds.  _Yes,_ he managed, even his thoughts feeling ragged.  _I mean-_

_Come back here,_ Loki’s voice murmured in his thoughts,  _and I will not let you leave the bedroom for a week._

It should have been a threat. It wasn’t. It was a promise, and it was all Steve needed, his hips thrusting into his hand as he came messily, his whole body pulsing with it. He planted a hand against the side of the bathroom stall to support himself, and bit his lip not to make a sound. 

_Loki,_ he managed to think, when his thoughts cleared.  _That was…_

The bathroom door opened, and Steve jumped. Someone knocked on the stall door. “Mr. Rogers, is everything all right?” 

Steve felt himself starting to flush all over again. “Yes,” he said, “Yes, everything’s…fine. Sorry, I’ll be right back.” 

The footsteps retreated, and Steve let out a sigh and slumped before reaching for toilet paper to clean himself off with. He missed Loki’s warm washcloth, the curiously gentle and thorough way he always cleaned them both. He took a deep breath and tried to focus. 

_I’ll be back soon,_ he thought, and a little bit of desperation, maybe, slipped into it. 

_You’d better be._ Loki’s voice in his mind sounded lazy, satiated. Steve hadn’t heard him come, and suddenly wished he had.  _I might get bored again._

Steve felt the flush all the way down his chest, and wished his private thought wasn’t first  _I hope so._


	9. against the wall

Despite the studiously innocent expression on Loki’s face, Steve was quite sure he knew exactly what he’d been doing. It was just dinner - a rare privilege Steve had managed to wrangle - but then Loki would lock eyes with him across the table and delicately lick soup off a spoon, or butter a slice of bread in bizarrely suggestive strokes, or a thousand other little gestures that should have been perfectly innocent. Somehow, when Loki did them, they weren’t. 

He’d been riding the edge of discomfort, his skin prickling and excruciatingly aware of his own body, for most of the latter half of the meal, right up to Loki swiping a finger around the inside of his bowl of ice cream and sucking it delicately clean. 

Steve almost scrambled to pay the bill and dragged Loki out of the restaurant before it got any worse. 

And now Loki was strolling along next to him, his hands in his pockets and the expression on his face one of insufferably smug innocence. Steve wasn’t sure how he managed to blend those two expressions, but he managed. 

It was a long five blocks. 

They stepped into the elevator and Loki gave him a smile. “Thank you,” he murmured, decorously. “For a lovely evening.” Steve couldn’t help but give him a bit of a look, and Loki’s eyebrows rose delicately. “I’m sorry, did I-“

Steve let out a huff, then reached for the lapels of Loki’s jacket and yanked him in for a ferocious kiss, not bothering to be shy. Loki’s mouth tasted faintly of strawberries and his hands slid over Steve’s back, a small, pleased sound vibrating in his chest. 

The elevator  _ding_ ed and Loki pulled away, one hand smoothing Steve’s shirt over his chest - and then continuing to slide down. Steve’s breathing snagged. “I think we’ve reached our floor,” he murmured, looking at Steve through lowered eyelashes, and Steve swallowed the urge to swear and just stepped out, reaching for Loki’s hand and tugging him after. Loki stepped in gracefully, like it was a dance, and backed Steve up against the door, kissing along his jawline with little flicks of his tongue at each point until Steve’s skin was tingling all down his neck. The door felt startlingly solid against his back, Loki’s body almost undulating against his, and they were right in the hallway-

He groped for the door handle and found it opened at his touch. He almost fell back through the door and just managed to catch himself. Loki laughed, clear and bright and genuine, and the sound made Steve’s body light up all over again, buoyed his heart. “Hey,” he objected, half heartedly, but Loki was unbuttoning his jacket and shedding it carelessly to the floor, followed shortly by his crisp, white dress shirt, and then he closed the distance between them again.

"That was fast," Steve said. Loki leaned in and tongued at his earlobe, then sucked it into his mouth, and Steve gasped, his body jerking.

"Why wait?"

Steve felt like a horny teenager, lust tightening his stomach as he slid his arms around Loki’s narrow waist and kissed him again, open-mouthed. Loki’s tongue flickered against his lips, and when Steve let them part, ran along his teeth. His hands kneaded Steve’s shoulders like cats’ paws. Steve’s desire was rapidly surging into urgency, and the way Loki’s body moved against his suggested he was feeling the same. “Bed?” he pulled away long enough to say, but Loki’s fingers knotted in his hair with a wordless sound and dragged him back in, catching Steve’s bottom lip and rolling it between his teeth. Heat rushed to Steve’s groin as Loki’s hands groped down and slid up under his shirt, his cool palms sliding over skin.

Steve pulled away to pant raggedly, but that only resulted in Loki bending his head to suck at his neck, leaving deep aches behind, each pull drawing blood up to his skin and Steve crowded forward like he could get closer and only belatedly realized that he’d backed Loki into a wall.

He pulled back again, moving his hands up to brace on either side of Loki’s shoulders, feeling almost - dizzy. Loki’s pupils were dilated wide, and his chest was heaving, his face flushed and lips slightly kiss-swollen.  ”Guh,” Steve managed, and tried to suck a deep breath. His erection throbbed between his legs, just the presence of Loki’s body right there almost… “—I really think we should - um —- bed,” he said again, not sure he’d managed a complete sentence. “I’m not going to-” he felt himself flush. “—not going to last very long.”

Loki arched provocatively against him, hips rolling against Steve’s. His smile was thoroughly smug. “Or you could just have me here. Now.” He leaned forward and slid his tongue along the shell of Steve’s ear, then murmured, “Fuck me open with your fingers, Captain. Then take your cock and-”

Steve silenced him by covering Loki’s mouth with his own, sucking his lower lip into his mouth. Loki inhaled sharply, his hands sliding up Steve’s back to grip his shoulders, fingers flexing powerfully. He felt warm,  _hot,_ and pushed thoughtlessly forward, pressing Loki to the wall. Loki’s hands slid down to the waistband of his pants and then to the front, deft fingers undoing button, then zipper. Steve canted his hips desperately into those hands, this time dropping his head and fixing his lips to Loki’s shoulder, sucking until he heard Loki suck in air in a sharp gasp. 

"I will - unh-" Loki’s hips bucked into the accidental nudge of Steve’s thigh, and he shifted to make the second time deliberate. Loki’s fingers stuttered on the zipper and he moaned, lowly. "I will have you - like this - I would like-" Steve shifted his body and fumbled for Loki’s slacks, trying to undo the clasp without being able to see it. He released the suction on Loki’s shoulder and laved his tongue over the spot, felt Loki shudder with a surge of pleasure. "Ah -"

Loki’s hands pushing off his pants and boxers together had become almost graceless. Steve managed to undo the catch of Loki’s and expose him, but he’d barely started to reach to take him in hand when Loki pulled him in, lined them up, and took both their cocks in one long fingered hand. 

Steve’s eyes slammed closed at the feeling, but he forced them open. His cock looked violently red next to Loki’s, the contrast even sharper against his hand, and he could feel Loki’s cock pressed against his, soft skin and the slick rub of the two heads together. 

He could hear Loki’s breathing, loud and fast as his hand squeezed and Steve’s whole body seemed to throb in answer. He was shaking. “Tell me what you want,” he forced out, not sure how he managed to make himself say it. Loki inhaled sharply. “You didn’t finish saying…”

"I want you to fuck me breathless," Loki said, and Steve felt the words shudder through him, startling and fiery and making his pulse quicken. "I want to feel you the next morning. I want-" His hand moved on their cocks, jerked up and tightened, and Steve had to bite back a yell or a moan or maybe both. It sounded so vicious, so  _brutal,_ but the way Loki said it-

"I want everything," Loki breathed, his voice sounding simultaneously frantic and determined. " _Everything_. Just to touch you. Just to feel you - come-” His hand moved in a jerky stroke, and their bodies bucked together. “- and come-” Again. Steve’s body pulsed, his heart pounding, trying to move. “and-“

Steve came, his head dropping forward, biting down on Loki’s shoulder without thinking, and Loki made a strangled sound, his body writhing. Steve pushed his own hand between them as he was riding out the waves of his orgasm, and wormed his hand in to wrap his fingers below Loki’s and stroke the spot near the base he’d noticed Loki react to before. 

He felt Loki’s come spatter his chest and stomach, smearing between them as their bodies continued to rub together, little thrusts gradually slowing and stuttering into stillness. Steve just breathed. He could see one bruise on Loki’s shoulder, and another forming where he’d bitten. He brushed his fingers over them. 

"Sorry," he said, quietly, as Loki shuddered at the pressure. 

"No," Loki murmured, his hand sliding loose and around to Steve’s back. "I like the feeling." His voice lowered, just a little. "I wonder if I can provoke you into leaving a few more." 

Steve swallowed hard, but he could feel his body waking up. “I’m not going to be able to take you to dinner anymore,” he said, without much sincerity. “If you’re going to…” He wasn’t sure how to end that sentence. 

"I do not," Loki said, "feel even a little bad," and his nails dragged just a little up Steve’s back. 


	10. doggy style

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is extra meta about this day and what is going on with it over [here](http://veliseraptor.tumblr.com/post/55177352976/your-latest-steve-loki-porn-had-a-tag-saying-if-anyone) on my tumblr, iffen anyone is interested.

Steve’s hands running over his flanks were gentle, the lightness of his touch almost terrible. Loki took a deep breath through his nose and canted his hips into those hands, wanting to feel more of the rough calluses, wanting to feel Steve’s fingers digging into muscle hard enough to bruise. “Having second thoughts?” he asked, mildly, and could almost hear the way Steve would frown. 

"I’m just taking my time," he said, a stubborn note in his voice, and Loki felt a warm little thrill. Little things - little nothings, like as not, but even those little flashes were enough to make him - want. He wondered how much Steve knew, or guessed, about the deep, secret, shameful desires  that he couldn’t always hide. 

He bit down on the skin of his own wrist as Steve’s hands smoothed over the curve of his ass, his thumbs kneading at muscle.  _Just do it,_ part of Loki wanted to snap.  _I don’t need…_

His body was winding tight, and Steve felt it. He paused. “Loki?” 

Loki took a sharp breath through his nose. In his dreams, he remembered, or the imaginings of his private moments, it had been rough and dirty and fast, power and brutal efficiency brought to bear against his body. This gentleness…

He released his bite and made his voice clear, pitched it low in that tone he knew Steve responded to. “Why,” he asked, “are you not already fucking me?” Steve made a faint, vaguely strangled sound, and his thumbs dug in and then released. Loki felt him twitch, and he smiled a little. “I want your fingers working me open from the inside, I want to feel your cock slide deep in, I want to feel the way your thighs tense as you come pressed inside me, and then-“

One of Steve’s hands pulled back even as the thumb of his other found the pucker of Loki’s asshole and pressed against it, his breathing quickening. Loki bit his tongue to keep from urging Steve to just keep pressing, to push his thumb in, to dig the blunt nail into tender flesh until Loki was writhing between pain and pleasure. 

He held it in. “I can never decide,” Steve said, his voice sounding a little rough, “if I want you to talk  _more_ or less.” Steve’s thumb was replaced by a more slender digit, the slick on it warmed to skin temperature. A small, thoughtful gesture that made Loki want to shiver. “But-” His finger pressed, just a little, and slipped just a little of the way in. 

Loki felt even that slight breach all the way up his spine, tingling in his neck. He didn’t bother to smother his moan and pushed his hips into Steve’s hand, pushing the penetrating finger deeper. His cock was heavy between his legs. He heard Steve’s breathing snag. 

"More," he said, arching his back. "Give me-"

Steve’s free hand pushed against his hip. “Let me take it slow,” he said, and Loki wanted to hiss, wanted to move and just-

He squeezed his eyes closed and let Steve slide that single finger slowly into him, moving in slow strokes that made his cock twitch and his whole body shudder. It seemed like forever before a second finger slid in beside the first, the stretch a little harsher, and a sound escaped his throat that wasn’t quite a whine. He squirmed. “Steve,” he said, before he could swallow the plaintive note to it. “I need-“

A third finger, and this time when all three were fully inside him Steve’s fingers curled and pushed and Loki’s whole body went rigid, synapses firing all the way through his body, making his knees tremble and his back quiver and his cock throb almost violently, and this wasn’t fast or rough but it was-

"I don’t know that I like not being able to see your face," Steve said, and he sounded strangely thoughtful, even under the lust thickening his voice. "Even if - even if I can feel the way you…" Loki arched into his fingers, almost writhing. Steve’s fingers stretched apart slowly, easing him open until every muscle in his body felt almost like liquid, and he was gasping, ragged, desperate little sounds that he couldn’t quite believe were coming from him. 

_Please,_ Loki wanted to say, but he couldn’t quite, not yet. Not- 

Steve’s fingers withdrew from him, finally, and he had a moment to feel awfully empty before there was the nudge of Steve’s cock against him and he could breathe again because  _finally_ , now. 

He didn’t move in one swift thrust, penetrating to the hilt so even prepared Loki’s body would strain to accommodate him. Even as Loki braced for it, anticipated it, Steve’s cock breached the first ring of muscle and held, lubricant sliding down between Loki’s legs from where they met. There was a momentary feeling of tightness, but it faded quickly into pleasant fullness, and Steve held there, his hips moving in just the shallowest of little thrusts, his breathing quick and harsh but his hands on Loki’s hips gentle, almost caresses. 

Loki tried to push back against him, but Steve’s hands held him still. “Hold on,” he said, quiet but still a command, and his hips rocked forward just that little bit further. Loki bit back a strangled moan, his body yearning for more and clenching in anticipation of pain that he -  _needed._ But this didn’t hurt, and his entire body was pulsing with powerful need and his cock was hard and leaking despite hardly having been touched. There was a fluttery feeling like panic in his chest. 

"Steve," he said, and it came out plaintive again, almost desperate. "I -  _nnnh._ " His voice broke off as Steve moved again, this time sliding fully in, painfully slow but Loki’s whole body arched with it, feeling every inch and for a bare moment he couldn’t inhale, couldn’t exhale, was just- 

Steve’s hips rested comfortably against his, the soft skin of his balls pressed to Loki’s ass. He leaned forward, body draping over Loki’s back like a warm blanket, and pressed a kiss to Loki’s shoulder. He could feel himself shuddering, almost uncontrollably. 

"Are you okay?" Steve sounded worried. "Do you…"

Loki’s fingers dug into the bed. “Don’t stop,” he said, fiercely.  _No. I’m not ‘okay.’_   _I don’t understand._ "Move.  _Fuck_ m- _aaaah._ " Steve’s body moved in one long, slow stroke, out and then in. Slow and smooth and his hand slid around Loki’s body, took his cock in hand. Loki gasped for air, feeling ragged, suddenly, broken open, like somehow this slowness was stripping everything away from him. 

He dropped his forehead to the bed, pressing it against his forearm, and squeezed his eyes closed. Steve’s hands slid down his back again, but he was still close and warm and everywhere and how was he supposed to, how could he possibly-

His cock was an acute ache between his legs. Steve moved in another long, slow thrust, in-out, and Loki’s body clenched and unclenched, seized up and went loose, his eyes fluttering open and forced closed. Desire was a hard knot in his belly and his heart fluttered wildly against his ribcage. Steve’s fingers smoothed soothing circles on his back. 

"I don’t want to hurt you," Steve said, quietly, and a large part of Loki wanted to howl  _you’re hurting me now._ But it was good, so  _good,_ so  _damned_ good that he couldn’t bear it, it was too much, too intense, too - he panted, raggedly, straining between Steve’s hand and his cock,  _too much not_   _enough_ , breaking open between them.

Steve shifted angle and this time his cock pushed up against the sweet spot inside him and Loki went rigid, his cock twitching in Steve’s hand, his body strung tight and he couldn’t hold back a cry. Another slow, deep thrust in the same place, a gentle stroke of his cock, and Loki was gone, his vision going blank, his mind going blank, everything that had built up inside him filling up and spilling over. 

He wasn’t certain, for a moment, that he would come back. 

When he did, Steve was still moving in those long, slow thrusts, slightly quicker now, and his breathing was quick, Loki didn’t have the ability to help, still dizzy and dazed, not sure how to feel. He felt Steve come, the tensing of his muscles, the catch in his breathing and his fingers digging in. His own breath still came uneven and too quick. 

Steve folded over him again as his hips stuttered, and kissed Loki’s shoulder, then scraped the flat of his teeth over the skin. Loki shuddered and held back a sound that would have been too much like a whimper. 

"It’s okay," Steve said, and  _what,_ Loki thought wildly,  _what is?_ but all he could do was go limp, focus on the feeling of Steve breathing on his shoulder, and close his eyes, understanding nothing.


	11. dom/sub

It was something he’d been thinking about for a while, considering carefully and turning over in his head, by the time he made his move. He still felt his heartbeat pick up when he rolled Loki to his back and pinned his wrists to the bed.

Loki fell still very suddenly, almost freezing, and Steve felt his muscles tense. For a moment, he thought he’d misstepped and misstepped badly, but then Loki exhaled a quiet sound and relaxed under him. “Oh,” he murmured. His hands flexed, and Steve felt it in his wrists. “ _Well._  Feeling bold, Captain?” He sounded faintly amused, and Steve took a deep breath, gathering his confidence. _Orders,_ he thought.  _Just like-_

“Stay on your back,” he said. “Hands at your sides.”

Loki blinked, and his eyes widened just a fraction, his smirk flickering slightly, but his eyes darkened and Steve heard his breathing snag. Steve let his hands squeeze, just a little, and Loki’s body tensed and then went slack, the sound of his breathing a little harsher. “You  _are_ feeling bold,” he said, though, lightly. Steve bent down and nipped at Loki’s throat. His head tilted eagerly back, and Steve felt a flush of heat in his chest.

“You’re not in charge right now,” Steve said, and felt foolish the moment the words were out of his mouth, but pushed on. “I am. Clear?” Loki’s hands twitched on the bed. His fingers curled down into the blankets.

“Are you telling  _me_ to be obedient?” Loki sounded amused again, and Steve sat up and locked his eyes on Loki’s. 

"Yes."

He felt just the slightest twitch of Loki’s body, a quick inhale. Steve pulled his hands slowly away from Loki’s wrists, and they stayed at his sides. Steve bent his head down and kissed him, making it long and slow. Loki arched toward him with a quiet hum, and Steve used his hips to push him back down, then worked a hand between them and slid it up under his shirt. Loki’s stomach muscles quivered under his hand, and when Steve lifted his head Loki’s eyes were dark, pupils dilated wide. 

"I’m not terribly good at obedience," Loki murmured. 

Steve said the first thing that came to mind, which was, “something to work on, then,” and slid his hand further up Loki’s chest, letting his fingers glide lightly over his skin. Loki’s eyes fluttered a little toward closed, and one of his hands half lifted off the bed. 

Steve caught it with his free hand and pressed it back down. “I said to keep your hands at your sides,” he said, a little more firmly than the first time. “So keep them there.” His fingers found one of Loki’s nipples and he pressed down in a little circle. Loki made a faint “ _ah!_ " sound and jerked a little, and Steve felt a surge of warmth pool low in his belly. Steve repeated the motion, releasing Loki’s wrist again, and bent his head to kiss along Loki’s jawline. His body tensed and relaxed against Steve’s, rocking between extremes. 

"If I - if I do not?" There was a note of challenge to Loki’s voice, underneath a touch of breathlessness. Steve nipped at the skin of Loki’s neck, very lightly. That was the question, wasn’t it? He wasn’t willing to -  _punish_ Loki. Not the way that seemed to be typical, so it was something he’d had to consider carefully. 

"Then there’ll be consequences," Steve said evenly, and felt Loki exhale sharply, his body pushing up against Steve’s. Almost at once, as Steve had expected, both his hands came up and ran up Steve’s legs.

Steve pulled back and sat up, removing Loki’s hands with his own and taking his body from contact with Loki’s. He regarded him calmly with the look that had made belligerent soldiers under his command back down. Loki’s expression was blankly surprised, and for a moment he just stared back. 

"Are you done?" Steve asked, patiently. Loki’s eyes narrowed a fraction and he shifted, but Steve held himself deliberately away, releasing his wrists. When Loki moved to touch him again, Steve simply batted them away. "I can be patient," he said, mildly. Loki just stared at him, and then made a low sound like a huff of laughter and dropped his head back, his hands to his sides. Steve took that as good enough and leaned back in, this time pressing his tongue to the seam of Loki’s lips and letting it slip inside when they parted. He could see Loki’s hands twitch, but they remained where they were. 

Steve let his mouth explore Loki’s neck and shoulders until he was twitching when Steve breathed on his skin, a small sound that wasn’t quite plea and wasn’t quite protest slipping from his throat, and then he pulled back again. 

"Strip," he said, and that, at least, was an easy order to give. Loki’s tongue slipped out and licked his lips as he sat up, slowly, and then rose to his knees to pull his fairly simple tunic off over his head. It was easier to watch openly, now, without shame, to admire that slender, pale body with its taut, lean muscle and near-flawless skin. Loki dropped the tunic to the floor and moved his hands to the catch of his trousers, "Wait," Steve said abruptly, and moved in. Loki lowered his hands, slowly, his eyes on Steve keen and sharp. 

Steve reached out and let his hand cup over the bulge in Loki’s pants, pressing just lightly with his fingertips and feeling the half-hard weight in his palm swell just slightly at his touch, and took a breath through his nose, his own body responding. He could feel Loki’s eyes on him as he shifted his hands up and undid the clasp, pulled the zipper slowly down. He let his fingers slip just inside and Loki shuddered, his hands jerking up to Steve’s hips to pull him in-

Steve made himself step back, quickly, though it was harder than he wanted to admit, pulling his hand back. “You know the rules,” Steve said, not quite chidingly, and a slight flush crept across Loki’s face.

"Just-" Steve held very still, waiting for Loki to tell him to stop, but Loki shook his head suddenly and took a deep breath through his nose. "—I know," he said, though there was a slight strain to his voice. Steve stepped back in, and this time when his fingers slid into the open front of Loki’s pants, his hands clenched in fists but stayed at his sides even as Loki’s body bucked toward the gentle brush of his fingers with an unquiet moan. 

Steve moved swiftly, almost pouncing back on the bed and pushing Loki back. Loki’s hips lifted helpfully up so Steve could drag his pants over his hips, and then he pressed himself against Loki, still clothed, and kissed him again, letting their bodies slide and rut together, listening to Loki’s breathing quicken as he ran his hand down Loki’s side to the jut of his hip, his thumb tracing the diagonal line of the bone inward. Loki squirmed under him, and Steve shimmied down a little lower, closed his mouth over one dark circle, and teased the hardening bud with his tongue. 

Loki’s chest pushed into his mouth, his whole body going rigid as his back arched. “Nnnhyes,” he said, or it sounded like he said, and Steve could see his hands twitching but they didn’t lift, Loki fighting to keep them still. “Steve-“

His name sounded almost - not like a plea, but something, and it made Steve’s blood heat, his heart thud a little faster. He shifted his body so his hand could slid in between them, wrap around Loki’s length and give it a gentle tug so it filled further in his hand and Loki’s voice broke off, his breathing quickening. Steve gave Loki’s cock another pull, this time letting his thumb rub a little circle under the head. Loki’s hips bucked almost violently. 

"I want to touch you," Loki said, his voice sounding slightly airless. 

"Not now," Steve said, and was slightly surprised by the quality of his own voice, lower and rougher than he’d expected, and it felt - it was strange, but not bad, not bad at all, just - and watching Loki react like this - "Don’t come," he said, half on a whim. "Not until I say. Can you…"

Loki’s mouth opened soundlessly, and his eyelids fluttered as Steve gave his wrist a little twist. “—yes,” he said, “Yes, I can-” His hands twitched, and then his body. 

Steve started to work his hand a little faster. Loki moved in waves underneath him, breathing loud and open-mouthed. Every response seemed exaggerated, every reaction amplified, and Steve could feel it in his body, could feel every little sound going straight to his own cock. 

"Is this good?" Steve asked, lowly, even if he could guess the answer. "You like - you like it when I push. You like it when I take control." He felt Loki tense, and deliberately tightened his hand just slightly so the tension slid sideways into something slightly different. It didn’t come easily, but- "That’s what I’m going to do. Now. I’m going to see how many times I can get you to come." He took a deep breath. "I’m going to take care of you. And you’re going to let me." 

Loki made a faint sound, not quite intelligible, and Steve felt his cock twitch in his hand. He jacked his hand in another stroke, lining his thumb slide up to push along the biggest vein on the underside.

“ _Unh-_ " Loki’s lips pressed together and his hips pulsed in short thrusts against his hand still pumping, Steve could just see his hands, fingers dug into the mattress. He locked his mouth over the other nipple, this time, and sucked. 

Loki cried out, sharply, and Steve felt a pulse of liquid slide down to his hand, wet slick making the motion of his hand easier. The taste of Loki’s skin was almost electric, flavored just slightly with sweat, and the frantic motions of his hips rutting against Steve’s hand were fast becoming uneven, irregular. He didn’t answer Steve’s pronouncement, breathing in short little gasps. 

Something rose up in Steve’s chest, heavy and full and ferocious, and he raised his head and moved his mouth to Loki’s neck where he locked his lips and sucked until he was sure there would be a mark. His hand pumped Loki’s length and he moved his body enough to say into his ear,  ”You’re mine. All right?” 

The sound Loki made was almost a shattered one, somewhere between a gasp and a shout, and his hips jerked violently into Steve’s hand, his whole body bending as he came.

Steve exhaled as he worked Loki through it, even as his own body throbbed for attention. It surprised him a little, that he’d said that.  _You’re mine._ But it didn’t feel…wrong.

Deep inside, where it had come from, it felt good.


	12. fingering

_I want to touch every inch of you,_ Loki had said, his voice low and near enough to a purr to make Steve shiver, and it seemed he was intent on making it a promise. His mouth followed every brush of his hands, his fingers tracing a muscle only for his tongue to follow the same path, his palm smoothing a broad stroke over his arm followed by sucking, wet kisses. Steve’s body felt strung tight and exquisitely sensitive, his skin pebbling with goosebumps even before Loki’s fingers met his skin.

Long fingers skated over Steve’s sides as his head bent, tongue dipping briefly into his navel. Steve arched helplessly toward Loki, and didn’t bother to try to swallow the little gasp that deepened quickly to a moan as Loki’s hands spread over his thighs, thumbs digging into the muscle. 

Loki’s eyes darted to his face, and there was a glint to his eyes that made Steve’s body heat up. His hands kneaded Steve’s thighs. Steve reached to touch his face and Loki turned his head and caught Steve’s fingers between his teeth, nipped lightly and then sucked on his fingertips. “Oh,” Steve said, a little breathlessly, almost feeling that suction all the way down in his cock.

Loki lifted his head, and then slid his hands inward and pressed his thumbs at the inside of Steve’s thighs, nudging his legs apart. Steve let them fall open without thinking about it, and Loki shifted between and continued his slow exploration, his hands skimming back up to Steve’s hips, over his belly, down and tantalizingly near but not  _quite_ touching until Steve wanted to growl.

"You’re being a tease," Steve accused. Loki smiled in a way that made Steve’s blood heat. 

"You don’t seem to mind." 

"I just-"

Loki leaned down then and kissed him, long and deeply so their bodies rubbed together, not quite lined up, the line of Loki’s arousal against him almost as good as the taut muscle of Loki’s stomach against his. 

He pulled back, though, and a faint whine escaped Steve as his hips arched into suddenly empty space. A moment later, though, Loki’s hand slid down under his cock and rolled his balls in the palm of his hand. 

Steve almost yelped, pleasure surging and his cock twitching eagerly. “I like touching you,” Loki murmured. “I like feeling you feel, watching your face twitch and flush, feeling your body buck with needy lust-“ 

The sound Steve made was a helpless moan, and hearing it from himself made him want to blush. He squirmed. “You’re planning - what are you planning?” He demanded, and Loki smirked and tugged lightly downward. Steve’s eyes slammed closed and he panted a few breaths. 

"I want to slide my fingers inside you," Loki said, his voice smooth and rich. "I want to ease you open until I find the spot inside you that makes you writhe, and then I want to stroke you to orgasm with just the lightest of touches."

Steve’s mouth went dry, and any response flew out of his head. The look on Loki’s face as he’d rocked on his own hand, three fingers thrust in to the knuckle, popped vividly into his head, followed by the idea of those long, slender fingers inside  _him,_ and Steve felt his body quiver and his cock twitch and suddenly wanted that very much.

"Oh," he said, a little breathlessly. Loki’s fingers slid back a little from his balls, thumb stroking the sensitive skin behind, and Steve inhaled sharply at the rush of sensation. "I…yes." 

"Mmm?" The question was sincere. Steve took a deep breath, tight though his chest might feel, and let it out. 

"Yes," he said, slowly. "I want - I want to try-"

Loki’s thumb glided back along his perineum, and his knees nudged under Steve’s hips, lifting them up at a slight angle. His other hand ran down along Steve’s thigh, and he twitched, shivered, in mingled anxiety and excitement. 

Loki’s fingers pulled back, after a moment, and he opened the little jar of oil Steve was becoming familiar with, coating his fingers liberally with the stuff. His clean hand wrapped around Steve’s cock and gave it a few tugs that sufficed to chase away the nervousness and just leave him straining for more again, though it came back when he felt Loki’s wet fingertip circle his hole. 

"Relax," Loki said, gently. His forefinger drew another circle, this a little tighter, and Steve felt his body spasm. He took a deep breath, though, and tried to relax, imagined his body’s muscles all easing…

He still gasped sharply when he felt the first breach, the sudden push  _in_ of what felt wider than a finger. A moment later he felt more cool liquid squeezed onto his skin, worked into his flesh, sliding in and easing the burning feeling inside. Loki’s thumb stroked along the sensitive skin behind his balls again, and Steve felt the digit inside him slip a little deeper as he relaxed. His body felt stretched already, and it seemed impossible, how did Loki fit three of his own fingers-

More lube, and a little bit deeper, and the rest of the slide seemed easier to where Steve could feel Loki’s knuckles pressed against his ass. He shifted, feeling unsure, uncomfortable if not in pain, his toes curling as he tried to breathe deeply. 

"Um," he summoned the voice to say, eventually. "I’m not sure…"

He felt Loki’s finger probe forward, shift slightly and probe against, and it  felt very, very-

Steve’s whole body jumped and he let out a sound like a yelp, a bolt of pleasure suddenly shooting straight to his cock and up through his whole body like an electric current. The second time he felt Loki nudge against something deep inside him and felt it again, intense and almost overwhelming. 

"Ah - is that," he managed, and could almost hear Loki smirk. 

"If you learned how to do this," Loki murmured, "you could probably make me come from this alone." The image flashed into Steve’s head, Loki split open on his fingers, legs sprawled wide and face flushed, coming without so much as a single stroke of his cock-

Steve’s whole body pulsed warm, as Loki began to move his finger slowly, shallowly in and out until the burn had faded, and Steve could feel the slick of the lube easing the way, and then the first finger withdrew, only to be joined by a second, both coated and slick, and this time Steve braced himself for the initial feeling of stretch. 

He bit down hard on his lip when it came, though, his eyes widening. Loki pushed into him slowly, and Steve panted, but it seemed to come faster, this time, the press of Loki’s knuckles and then the crooking of his fingers that set Steve’s blood on fire, made him squirm and arch, a thin whine escaping his throat as Loki’s fingertips pushed over that spot again and again and again-

"Your whole body is flushed," Loki murmured, as his fingers worked in and out, and the stretch became a sense of pleasant fullness interrupted by the almost violent spikes in feeling. "There’s a sheen of sweat on your skin. After you come, I think I’ll lick it off, and then you can do this to me, leave your fingerprints on the deepest parts of me-“

Steve groaned, lowly, the pressure of Loki’s fingers not quite enough, needing just a little bit more, just a little- that image appealed, though, more than Steve wanted to admit. He wanted to find that place inside Loki. Wanted to press his fingers over it and watch Loki come undone with pleasure, wanted-

Loki’s hand wrapped loosely around his cock. His fingers crooked, pressed down, and his thumb rubbed up against Steve’s cockhead. 

Steve came hard, trapped between Loki’s two hands, rocking between them with little motion. His body went slack even as his hands drifted down Loki’s back to the curves of his buttocks and dug into the muscle and flesh there. 

"Well?" Loki murmured, quietly. Steve felt a surprising little pang of loss as his fingers pulled away, but he gathered Loki into his arms and pulled him down for an open-mouthed kiss, and hoped that was answer enough.


	13. rimming

Loki took one look at him, stitched his eyebrows together, and stepped back. “Go take a shower,” he said, imperiously. “A  _hot_ shower, and then lie down on your stomach on the bed.”

Steve blinked, a little taken aback. “What?” 

"I can almost see you radiating tension from here. It’s making my shoulders ache." Loki gave him a critical look. "So I’m going to see to mending that." 

He was as good as his word.

Loki lapped at the top of his spine, his thumbs digging into the muscle of Steve’s shoulders. Steve felt a little shiver run down his back, an involuntary noise escaping him as Loki’s fingers found an obstinate knot and began working at it. 

"You’re far too tense," Loki murmured. "I ought to do this more often." His hands were strong and sure, and Steve wondered, suddenly, if once upon a time Loki had done this - or something like - for Thor. The thought made him faintly uncomfortable, though, so he pushed it away. 

"I wouldn’t mind that," Steve murmured into the pillow, and Loki chuckled quietly. 

"I thought you might not." Loki massaged the knot again, and Steve felt it all the way to the bone, muscle warming and loosening, portions of his shoulders already feeling almost liquid. 

"You’re good at this," Steve said, his voice sounding a little thick to his own ears.

"Mm." Seeming satisfied with his progress, Loki shifted his hands a little further down Steve’s shoulders, his tongue licking up his spine, drawing a narrow wet line in between his shoulder blades. Steve twitched, but only a little, feeling pleasantly warm and relaxed. He was vaguely aroused, but just enough to make him more closely attuned to the flutter of Loki’s breath and the coolness of his hands, sensations deliciously heightened. "I’ve hardly started."

There was a tone to Loki’s voice that made Steve’s toes curl and his stomach do a flip, at once nervous and anticipatory. “—that so?” he said, hearing a little note of breathlessness to his own voice, and Loki chuckled. 

"Mm," he said again, breathing on Steve’s skin for a moment before fastening his lips to skin and sucking hard, his fingers digging into the muscle of his back anew. Steve felt his body warm, muscles going slack, as Loki pushed his thumbs down along either side of Steve’s spine. He trailed gentle kisses down until his hands began to work at Steve’s lower back, thumbs rubbing slowly expanding circles. His mouth moved steadily lower, to the dip of his spine, and the tension oozed out of Steve, leaving him feeling almost limp on the bed. 

At least until Loki nipped lightly at his ass and Steve almost jumped, his eyes that had been drifting closed snapping open with a startled little yelp. He could almost hear Loki’s grin. “Just making sure you won’t fall asleep.” He licked the same spot as the bite, his hands sliding slowly down from Steve’s waist. He twitched at the feeling of Loki’s breath on his skin and the tone in his voice, feeling a sudden awareness of his cock trapped underneath his body. 

"What are you planning," Steve asked, not quite in accusation. Loki’s hands eased down over his ass and kneaded the muscle once. Steve didn’t quite tense, a current starting in his body, centered in his loins. A moment later he felt a soft exhalation, and then the probe of Loki’s tongue between his buttocks. 

Steve started violently and with a strangled sound of surprise, but even at the same time he felt blood rush to his groin, nerves lighting up eagerly. “Loki-!” burst out of him, and his tongue withdrew. 

"Too much?" Loki asked, and Steve squeezed his eyes closed. 

"No," he said, finally, "but I just…" his voice trailed off, a little pointlessly, not sure what to say. He wanted to turn over and look at Loki, but he still felt so loose, so comfortable…Steve started to twist his head back to see if he could catch Loki’s eye, but then Loki’s tongue was back again, licking another stripe until it pressed flat over his asshole with sudden wet warmth and Steve’s hips pushed eagerly up before he could try to hold still. Loki’s hands on his buttocks shifted and his tongue retreated, the touch of his mouth becoming a sucking kiss that Steve felt like a bolt of electricity all up his spine. A noise a little like a whine slipped out of his mouth into a pillow, and this was so -  _strange,_ but…

Loki hummed into him, the vibration traveling down so he could almost feel it in his balls, and into his body as well. His hips arched helplessly up, and he could feel his cock responding, exquisitely aware of everything Loki’s mouth was doing, all his freshly relaxed muscles still limp but trying to tense. Loki hummed again, and then his tongue slipped out and probed against his hole, drew a little circle and then stiffened and - dipped inside.

The sharp, startled moan-gasp pushed out of Steve’s chest startled him. Loki’s tongue pushed just a little bit into him and he could feel every little twitch and twist and flicker, another sound escaping when he moved his tongue swiftly to thrust out and then in, just a fraction deeper. Steve’s cock swelled and his heart thudded hard, body swinging wildly between the growing ache of need and peaceful languor. 

"Loki," he said again, but the tone was audibly different even to him this time, almost plaintive. His tongue withdrew and it was back to kisses, light breaths, centered over his asshole. Steve panted, a little raggedly. 

"Good?" Loki murmured, quietly, the word barely audible and breathed over Steve’s flushed skin. 

"Yes," Steve exhaled, because it was, strange or not, and he wanted - wanted-

Loki kissed down a little further, ran his tongue up and down and back up again. “Touch yourself,” he murmured, and tapped the tip of his tongue lightly against Steve’s hole, making his body clench and then relax again as he traced a wet circle around. “I want you to come with my tongue in you. I want to feel your muscles clench and then go slack as everything comes spilling out of you, as you slide through bliss into languor and can only lie there and sleep, dreamlessly and quiet-“

Steve took a sharp breath in and worked his hand under his body, lifting his hips to wrap his hand around his cock. Loki’s hands moved to support him, and his teeth caught the other buttock this time, just sharp enough that he knew there would be a bit of a mark. Steve’s cock twitched in his hand and he started to stroke himself, his hand stuttering as Loki’s mouth pressed to his asshole again, sucking hard enough that Steve’s whole body went rigid. And then it was his tongue again, probing, pushing in in little thrusts, a little further every time and Steve felt his body open and loosen even as the rest of him seemed to wind tighter. 

Loki’s tongue pushed in and curled, slightly, and then he hummed again, and this time Steve felt it all the way up inside him, vibrating through his insides and making his eyes slam closed with the rush of feeling and pleasure. His hand squeezed, unconsciously, and he didn’t manage to swallow the yell as he came, trying to arch back into Loki and thrust forward into his own hand at the same time, spilling in long pulses, each one seeming to drain energy with it.

Loki kept up his attentions until Steve slumped limply, and then his supporting hands eased Steve’s hips back to the bed and moved up to stroke his back. 

"Hnnh," Steve said, coherently. Loki laughed, quietly, but it sounded strikingly fond. He felt…utterly slack, languid, unable to even think about getting up and doing anything productive. "I’m…" 

Loki’s hand brushed across Steve’s shoulder. “Sleep,” he murmured. “I’ll wake you in a couple hours. You need the rest.”

"But you…"

"Hush," Loki said, firm but strangely gentle as well. "I shall hardly be going anywhere." He leaned down and pressed a kiss on one of Steve’s shoulder-blades, and he let his eyes drift closed. That was true. Loki would still be here. He believed that now. 

"All right," he mumbled. "Just a couple hours." He felt good. Relaxed. At ease. The words just slipped out of him. "I love you."

The world was rapidly receding, and he didn’t hear Loki’s reply. 


	14. 69

The first time Steve awkwardly commented on the possibly apropos double entendre of the moniker Silvertongue, Loki laughed himself breathless. Just as Steve was moving from embarrassed to irritated, though, Loki had pushed him back and - upped his game, as it were, to new heights. 

He seemed determined to continue that trend now. 

Steve groaned, feeling impossibly aroused. Loki had been teasing him closer and closer to orgasm for what felt like forever, letting him get painfully close only to draw back to little laps of his tongue and too light kisses. Steve’s whole body was pounding to his heartbeat, and he was well past needy and into desperate. He reached for Loki and expelled a sharp breath.

"It’s not fair," he pushed out, voice almost a whine as Loki drew back again, the tip of his tongue darting out to circle his slit. "I can’t - I can’t touch  _you_ like this-“

Loki lifted his head, just fractionally. “Why, Captain,” he murmured, voice purrlike, even if his eyes were slightly lust-glazed. “You’re not getting  _frustrated,_ are you?” Steve made a sound that was incoherent even to him, and Loki grinned, his eyes getting that look in them that either boded very well or very badly, and Steve could never decide which it was. “So that’s your complaint?” 

Steve took the few moments’ respite to try to catch his breath, though his body was already aching for Loki to continue. “Yes,” he said, deciding that whatever Loki was intending…he wanted to know what it was. “That’s my comp _aaah._ " Loki lifted his head from where he’d just rasped his tongue along the ridge of Steve’s cockhead, and smirked. He lowered his voice to something almost inaudible. 

"Do you want to see if your mouth can do to me what I can do to you?" 

Steve felt a pleasurable shiver slide down his spine. He knew he didn’t have the experience, but he still felt - still liked feeling the way Loki responded. “Nnh,” slipped out, before he managed, “yes,” and Loki pulled back.

"Well then," Loki said, and then swung around, his head still hovering over Steve’s groin, his body reversed over Steve’s so his hips - and his cock, hard and glistening slightly with pre-come, was just-

Steve’s hands jumped up to grab Loki’s hips and pull him down, head bending so he could press a (somewhat awkward) kiss to the base of his cock. He heard Loki’s sharp inhale and felt the muscles in his ass tense under his grip, and did it again, a little more lingeringly, letting his tongue tickle down towards Loki’s balls. He felt Loki’s body quiver before his head bent and he breathed lightly over Steve, waking up his body all over again and reminding him how much he needed more. He squirmed helplessly, just managing to swallow a yelp. Steve pushed his fingers a little harder into muscle and ran his tongue along Loki’s shaft, tasting the slight musky flavor of his skin with that faint tingle of electricity underneath. 

Loki’s mouth enveloped him like a challenge, warm and wet. He sucked, just lightly, and Steve’s body jerked up, thrusting into Loki’s mouth before he could hold himself still, but Loki just hummed and Steve felt it vibrate all down his cock and up into his belly, making his body clench and a new surge of heat rising inside him-

Steve pulled Loki’s hips to be in better line with his body, and moved his own mouth to run his tongue experimentally under the crown of Loki’s cock. The slightly strangled noise Loki made into his flesh was like a circuit completing, his nerves all alive at once and humming with awareness. Steve took a quick breath through his nose and set to, thinking of things Loki had done that he liked, or things he thought Loki might like, licking, kissing, tracing the increasingly prominent veins and finally moving Loki’s hips to guide his cock just a little into his mouth. 

"Ah," Loki said, just audible as he withdrew only enough to lavish kisses around the base of Steve’s cock. "Steve-"

Hearing his name like that, in Loki’s voice, was - almost intoxicating, Steve decided. Made him feel giddy and pleased and hungry. He let his mouth slide down a little further, trying to move his tongue at the same time, sucking until he could almost feel the weight of Loki’s cock twitch inside his mouth, the way Loki’s body tensed and strained, his hips pushing against Steve’s hands for all he held them steady. Steve sucked again, a little harder, making the seal of his mouth tight as far down as he dared go.

Loki gasped, his body over Steve’s almost convulsing, and then his mouth was on Steve again with new fervor, licking up his cock and then enveloping him again, his tongue pushing against the head in little pulses, and Steve could feel his body building toward orgasm again, his thoughts starting to fragment. He focused on Loki’s body over his, on dragging him over with him, on the taste of his cock and the smell of sex and sweat slick on both their bodies-

He could hear Loki making muffled little  _unh-unh-unh_ noises as his lips and tongue worked almost frantically, stuttering at certain strokes of Steve’s tongue. Hardly thinking, Steve shifted one of his hands, moving his fingers to slide between Loki’s buttocks, his little finger tracing down and then pressing at Loki’s asshole, teasing. 

Loki went rigid and his mouth was suddenly an impossibly tight seal around Steve’s cock, his tongue fluttering until the tip probed hard in  _just_ the right place and finally,  _finally_ Steve tipped over the edge and came, feeling Loki’s lips and throat milking him dry.

Steve’s body was still pulsing with his orgasm as he took Loki in his mouth again and swiped his tongue over the head, tasting the tang of pre-come, and then brought his thumb in and pressed at the base of Loki’s cock. 

Loki’s hips bucked and he made a ragged sound, his head coming up before Steve had finished so come panted his chin as his body bent. Steve held his finger there and sucked, then again, until Loki made a low keening noise, his hands clamping on Steve’s thighs.

"Aaa _aaaah-“_

Steve’s whole body flushed at that sound. He released the pressure, and took the first pulse of Loki’s climax on his tongue. The taste was bitter and not altogether pleasant, but he couldn’t care, not when he was already starting to slide toward post-coital exhaustion and he was feeling a little glow of pride at having remembered that tactic. 

Loki shifted around as his body began to go slack, stretching out next to Steve, his eyes half closed and his expression - satiated. 

Steve felt a warm coil of satisfaction settle in his belly, only to have it transform into a different kind of heat as Loki wiped some of Steve’s spend off his chin only to lick it off his fingers, one at a time. 

And then leaned in and licked a stripe of his own off Steve’s jaw. 

"Did I wear you out?" Loki asked, his voice only slightly slurred, and just the tone of voice…

"Maybe not quite yet," Steve said, still feeling a little breathless, and pulled Loki up for a kiss, delighting in the way Loki’s body felt against his.


	15. sweet and passionate

Loki was almost vibrating. He stood a few steps from Steve, tense and rigid, his eyes slightly too wide, frozen as though he were rooted to the floor. It didn’t look right, on him. Steve shifted. 

"…I’m back," he said, finally, and Loki made the first sound he had since Steve had opened the door. A quiet breath that wasn’t quite a whimper. 

"You’re alive," he said, and Steve felt the words like lead dropping into his stomach, and realized - he’d gone AWOL four days before, and spent yesterday in the infirmary. Five days. 

"Did no one tell you," Steve started to say, and trailed off. 

"No." Loki’s voice was very quiet. "No one told me." The way he was looking at Steve -  _hurt._ Like he kept expecting something to happen, or perhaps like he thought this might not be real.

Steve pictured Loki, up here, waiting for him to come. Wondered if the first day he’d thought Steve had forgotten, or maybe decided not to come anymore. His stomach churned, and he took a deep breath. 

"I’m - I’m all right." There was still something too still, immobile, about Loki, and Steve took a cautious step nearer. "I’m sorry…"

Loki’s head twitched to the side. “You need not-“

"Of course I need to apologize," Steve said, cutting him off. "I assumed that - but I should have made sure. I can only imagine…"

"For the past twenty-four hours I have been engaged in an internal debate regarding how best to tear your realm apart to find your killer," Loki said, his voice perfectly flat. Steve felt a shiver crawl down his spine. 

"That’s not-"

"What you would want?" Loki made a harsh sound, little like a laugh. "You think I do not know that? But what  _would_ you have me do? Sit and wring my hands?” 

Steve squeezed his eyes closed, guilt tangling with a bit of frustration. “That’s not-“

"Every day," Loki said, his voice rising sharply, "Or nearly every day, you stride out to challenge fate, and I must  _sit_ here like a maiden in a tower, helpless,  _trapped,_ knowing how easily a single blow could strike you down, imagining vividly all the ways a man can die-“

"Loki," said Steve, and now it was worry itching at him at the tone in Loki’s voice, drawing nearer to panic. 

"You could choke out your last breaths while I was here, reading  _inane_ mortal literature,  _blissfully_ unaware-“ 

Steve took another step forward and reached out, grabbed Loki’s shoulders. They were rigid under his hands, and Steve squeezed hard, dug his fingers in.

"Loki," he said again, lowly. "Please. I’m fine. Can you just…"

The instant Steve touched him, though, he twisted, trying to pull him away. “Do not,” he started to say, and Steve gave his shoulders another squeeze. 

"I’m sorry," He said again, low and calm. "You were worried. It’s okay."

“ _What_ is,” Loki snapped. “You will forgive me if I find I cannot be so blasé about your potential demise-” There was an air of wildness to his voice, of desperation. Steve moved one of his hands into Loki’s hair and met his eyes, keeping his expression calm. 

"I’m here now," he said, quietly. "Can you focus on that?" 

Loki’s body shuddered, and then something seemed to crack open and he moved for the first time, almost lunging, his hands on either side of Steve’s face pulling him into a kiss that felt almost frantic and was strangely graceless. 

He’d scared Loki, Steve realized. Badly. That he was letting it show this much-

He released Loki’s shoulders only to slide his arms around his waist and pull his body close, trying to take the kiss and slow it down, ease them both back from the edge Loki was teetering on. He slid his tongue along Loki’s and then slipped it into his mouth, felt Loki’s arms flex and relax, his hands slipping down to Steve’s neck. Steve could still feel the vibration in his body, but the longer he held Loki there, just kissing him, the more it became a different kind of shaking, less tension holding him too tight and more the exhaustion of tension released. 

Steve combed his fingers through Loki’s hair as he pulled back, and found it slightly tangled. Steve wondered if he’d slept at all. Loki’s hands moved to Steve’s shoulders, his fingers digging in almost too hard. Steve didn’t protest. “It’s all right,” he said again, soothingly, and Loki made a faint sound. 

"No," he said, faintly, and Steve kissed him before he could continue whatever train of thought held him still, suddenly feeling powerfully protective. This time when he pulled back it was just to trail kisses along Loki’s jawline. He could hear Loki’s breathing, uneven and slightly harsh, and kept up the gentle kisses until it steadied slightly, the sound shifting toward something other than near-panic. 

"I’m here," Steve murmured into Loki’s skin, and sucked lightly. This time the twitch was unmistakable. "I’m here."

Loki turned his head abruptly, twisting his body to catch some of the skin of Steve’s neck in his teeth, the bite not gentle. Steve took in a hissing breath but didn’t respond in kind, keeping his arms snug around Loki’s waist but not tight, his mouth gentle, and a moment later Loki released him with a shudder. 

"I need," he said, and then cut off. Steve rubbed at the small of his back with one hand and kissed him again before drawing back. 

"What do you need?" 

Loki made a small sound in the back of his throat and then moved again, his hands tugging at Steve’s shirt, slipping down to the hem and pushing it up his back. “You,” he said, after a moment, and if it sounded like he was trying to a usual tone it slipped a little bit short. “I need - I want to feel you-” His hips moved in a deliberate, provocative motion, and Steve almost jumped, but he already knew…

"Go get in bed," he said, and gave Loki another long kiss on the mouth. "I’ll be right there." For a moment, he thought Loki would argue, but then he drew back, if reluctantly, and turned to pad down the hallway. Steve watched him go, then looked around the suite. It looked…in fairly good condition, compared to some of the times Steve had come when Loki was - not doing well. He wondered if that was a good sign or a bad one. 

He needed to talk to Loki about what he’d said, the almost threat he’d made. That probably should have been his priority. 

Right now, though, he just wanted to take care of his - Loki. He took a deep breath and walked down the hall after Loki, turning into the bedroom. Loki was already naked, stretched out on the bed and watching Steve with a strange expression in his eyes. Despite sudden self-consciousness, Steve peeled off his clothes, though he left his boxers on. There was still something about Loki’s bearing that made him uneasy; something brittle, and he was worried about pushing the wrong way. 

Steve stretched out next to Loki slowly, and drew him into a deep, long kiss, keeping it slow and intimate. Loki’s teeth caught at his lip once, his body surging toward Steve’s, but Steve braced a hand on his hip and kept him steady, slowly shifting until he was lying over Loki, weight braced on one hand. Loki inhaled sharply, his hands fluttering over Steve’s shoulders before sliding down his back. 

He released Loki’s mouth only to trail wet, open mouthed kisses down his neck. The sound of Loki’s faintly ragged breathing was clearer, that way, the slight shivers still running through his body, the tension he was still holding. “Relax,” Steve murmured. “Just…” He tongued the skin over Loki’s collarbone, and let his hips move just a little, pushing against Loki’s. 

"Ah-!" Loki said, and his fingers dug in too hard again. Steve let them, focused on setting a rhythm with his body, moving his hips in slow, small thrusts, lining up his body so he could feel Loki’s cock becoming erect, the friction of his body and Steve’s own underwear making him hard as well. Loki’s hips bucked up and Steve thrust down, pushing him back against the bed but rubbing against him still, and Loki squirmed, his head going to the side. Steve took the opportunity to kiss another part of his neck, fixing his mouth over taut skin and pulling blood to the surface, slow and steady. 

Loki gasped, panted. “Steve,” he said, “More-” His voice was almost hoarse.

Steve pulled back enough to shuck his boxers. Loki’s body gleamed with a slight sheen of sweat, spread out on the bed, that strange wildness still in his eyes. Steve stretched out over him again, this time lining up their hips deliberately so that when his hips pressed to Loki’s their two cocks rubbed together, and Loki sucked in a sharp breath. 

Steve started moving again, rubbing them together with each deliberate stroke. He could feel Loki starting to twitch and squirm underneath him and slowed his thrusts, feeling heat build in his own low belly, his balls tightening. He ran his hand down Loki’s side and up again, letting the arm bracing him on the bed relax slightly, a little more of his weight on Loki. He lowered his head and caught Loki’s open mouth, slid his tongue inside, felt him make a small sound that wasn’t quite plaintive, his hips moving in little jerks up against Steve’s. Loki’s chest heaved under his in deep, anxious breaths, his body straining.

"It’s okay," Steve said, without being quite sure why, letting his free hand go up to Loki’s shoulder to rub it in a little circle. "You can let it go."

Loki’s whole body shuddered, and Steve’s cock slid against Loki’s with perfect friction. Loki surged under him with a cry, and Steve felt him come, warm spatter on his chest and belly, smearing between them. Steve followed barely a stroke later, and his supporting arm gave out, his weight wholly on Loki. Loki didn’t seem to care, his body still shuddering just a little. 

"Loki?" Steve said, after a few moments of silence. 

"Mmm," was his only response, muffled. Loki’s face was pressed against his shoulder, and Steve could feel him trying to take deep breaths. He tried to push himself up, and Loki grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back down. "No. Stay." 

His voice blurred audibly, and Steve exhaled in relief. “I will,” he said, soothingly. “I’ll be right here.”

"Good," Loki said, still sounding blurry, exhausted. "I can’t - not now. I’ve lost enough." 

Steve’s heart hurt, but he shifted slightly so he could slide his arms around Loki. Even knowing it wasn’t a promise he could make, he still said it. “You’re not going to lose me.” 

Loki was already quiet. Steve was feeling sleep dragging at his eyelids, too. He needed to remember to talk to Loki about if the worst did happen. He needed to remember to tell his friends that in the future someone was going to have to keep Loki apprised of things that concerned him. He needed…

As he slid toward sleep, though, it was nice just to be here, with Loki’s soft breathing on his shoulder. 


	16. in a public place

It felt inexpressibly good to be outside.

He would never have said it - it would only upset Steve, and there was little that he could do about it - but it chafed, sometimes. He had wandered the stars, seen worlds beyond imagining, and now he was locked into a space smaller than his suites in Asgard. He’d agreed to his cage, of course, and locked himself into it. 

Nonetheless…feeling the air on his skin, and the wind through his hair, was enough to make his heart lift. 

Steve’s hand was warm on his waist, and if something about that touch made him faintly uneasy, he didn’t pull away. It was Steve, after all, who’d wheedled the others into agreement, who’d promised his good behavior. However he might chafe…Loki still knew how much he owed Steve. Whatever Steve thought…more than he could repay. 

It was important that he remember that. 

For now, though - he twisted around to lean in and catch the corner of Steve’s lips in a kiss, unable to keep a smile off his face. “It’s a fine evening,” he said, and won a look from Steve that was unmistakably pleased. The upwell of affection made his chest feel uncomfortably tight, like there wasn’t quite room for it. He broadened his smile and added a, “almost as fine as the company,” to make Steve flush and glance a little away.

"Flatterer," Steve said, but mildly. Loki turned fully to stop him, setting his hands on Steve’s shoulders and adopting an astonished expression.

"When have I  _ever,_ " he said, indignantly, and Steve made a face. "I am entirely sincere," Loki pressed, widening his eyes. "I would never  _dream_ of trying to praise you unduly-“

Steve threw a quick glance over Loki’s shoulder and then pulled him forward, kissing him with that curious repressed fierceness that drove Loki a little mad. He shifted his hands and dug his fingers into his shoulders, hoping to goad him into more, but Steve just made a faint noise and then pulled back.

"There are people-"

"And?" Loki pulled Steve back to him, pressed their bodies close together and nipped at his lips. "Why should we care?" This time, he pushed the kiss to be deeper, a little more intense, letting his tongue slide over the seam of Steve’s lips, leaving his own parted so Steve’s tongue chased his into his mouth and his other hand came up to Loki’s waist, started sliding up his ribs-

Steve drew back, looking just slightly flushed. “We shouldn’t,” he said. Loki narrowed his eyes. 

"Are you ashamed?" he asked, and heard his own voice slide a little too close to something too revealing. Steve gave him a sharp look and shook his head. 

"No," he said at once, vehemently, though Loki still felt a cautious twinge.  _I wouldn’t blame you if you were._ "I just…" 

"There’s no one here," Loki urged, indicating the empty path, blocked from the street by trees. He lowered his voice, slid a little bit of huskiness into it the way he knew Steve reacted to. "What’s the harm?" 

He could see Steve waver. For a moment, he felt that wavering like a quiver in his gut, both tremor and frisson.  _You’ll break him down. Tarnish all his gold and make a ruin out of beauty._ For one wild moment, he wanted to break away, to stop the inevitability of that process, but then Steve’s arms flexed around him and he pressed an almost cautious kiss to Loki’s jaw. “I…guess,” he said. “But if anyone…” 

"Of course," Loki murmured, pushing doubts away and bending his head to nip at Steve’s neck, then to bite a little harder. Steve inhaled sharply, and Loki ran his tongue over the little indentations of his teeth to feel him shiver. Steve’s fingers flexed into the muscle of his back and he made a small sound, his fingers sliding into Loki’s hair.

He moved his body deliberately against Steve’s to feel him react, and Steve’s mouth was suddenly hot on on his skin at the join of his neck and shoulders, a wet open-mouthed kiss that quickly turned to suction, and it wasn’t hard enough but the heat of his mouth and the way his hands pulled Loki close were intoxicating in themselves.

"Harder," Loki murmured, nonetheless, and scraped his teeth against the thin skin of Steve’s neck. Steve jerked and his teeth clamped down, suddenly. Loki felt a surge of heat between his legs at the combined sharp pain and ache spreading down from his shoulder, and released Steve’s neck only to draw little swirls with his tongue up to the hollow behind his ear, feeling Steve winding tighter against him.

"All right," Steve said, sounding distinctly breathless. Loki could feel his own heart thudding against his ribs, and the idea had slid into his mind, now, unwilling to be dislodged. "All right, we should probably-"

Loki sucked Steve’s earlobe into his mouth, ran his tongue along the shell of his ear. Steve’s voice fractured and he made an indistinct noise, not quite a moan, that Loki could almost feel and that his body definitely answered. “Should probably,” Loki prompted, when he was sure that Steve had lost track of the moment. 

Steve shook his head. His eyes, Loki noted with satisfaction, were a little dazed. “I need to-” He started to flush again, although it was hard to tell where it started with the color high in his face. Loki wanted to run his fingers through that blond hair until he looked positively debauched, until his control snapped and he wasn’t holding back at all. “I need to - if we’re going to keep going…” He glanced around, and took a step back. 

"There’s still no one here," Loki said, and perhaps something of his thoughts showed in his eyes, because Steve’s widened fractionally. Loki took a step toward him, prowling and intent. "I don’t see why…"

"Loki," Steve started to say, but then stopped. Loki paused, and gave him a little smile brimming over with wickedness, and Steve blinked at him, looking a little bit wide-eyed. "Are you - that’s not decent," he said, sounding curiously appalled. Loki raised his eyebrows. 

"When have I  _ever_ been ‘decent’, my dear Captain?” he purred, and then took the last closing step between them and kissed him, not bothering to hold back, unleashing the sensuality he’d held back, letting his arms slide around Steve’s neck and draw him in, his hips rolling to grind against Steve’s deliberately, forcefully. Steve made a muffled sound into Loki’s mouth, and he released him, letting his thumbs rub along the sides of Steve’s neck. “Well?” 

Steve’s eyes were wide, his pupils large. He took a few shallow breaths, and Loki could feel his body straining, the palpable bulge of heat that rubbed against Loki’s body with every movement of his hips. “There’s really no one,” He said finally, slowly, like the words were dragged out of him. 

"Just us," Loki repeated, and let his hands release Steve’s neck to move to slide down his sides. 

"Anyone could walk by-"

Loki nudged Steve further back, out of the circle of light the lamps threw out, pushing him back against a tree. “Could,” he agreed, though on an entirely different tone, and Steve twitched. Loki let his fingers play across Steve’s waistband. “I guess we’ll just have to be quiet,” he murmured. 

Steve hovered on the edge of indecision for another moment, and then he mouthed something Loki thought might have been  _dammit_ and his hands fisted in Loki’s hair and pulled his head in, lips fastening over his. Loki heard his own ragged inhale and let his fingers slide into the front of Steve’s trousers. He felt his stomach muscles quiver under his fingers and let his thumb play with the button. 

"If it were a little darker," he murmured, when Steve broke away to take a few deep breaths, "I would have you strip me naked and take me like this-"

Steve moaned, his hands sliding down Loki’s back, grabbing at his shirt and rucking it up without seeming to realize he was doing so. His body felt tense, still, but Loki could feel his arousal too, not just in the erection pressing into his thigh but in the sound of his breathing. “Is anyone,” Steve said, and then took a deep breath. “Is-“

Loki moved one hand up to push Steve’s chin back to expose his throat, and planted a sucking kiss over the apple of his throat. Steve’s body arched against his, and Loki moved his fingers, deftly undoing the button and pulling down the zipper to slip his hand inside and let his fingers glide over sensitive skin, light as a feather. 

The sound Steve made was exquisite, the way his hands on Loki’s hips clenched and dug in even better. Loki sucked harder at Steve’s throat even as he kept the touch of his fingers soft, and Steve squirmed. “Aah-” he started to say, and then clamped his mouth shut, breathing in sharp little inhales. Loki smiled, and hummed into his throat, to make him squirm more. 

Steve moved abruptly, swiftly, one of his hands flying up to clamp around the back of Loki’s neck and his lips fastening on skin, the pull of suction much harder this time than before.

Loki made a sharp sound, and released Steve’s neck only so that he could slide his hand into his pants far enough to draw out his cock, letting his palm slide over heated flesh, his fingers curling slowly around. The muffled sound from Steve made Loki’s own cock throb violently, his hand tightening unconsciously before he pulled it back, spit into his palm, and let that be sufficient slick to begin stroking in long, lazy pulls. Steve’s hips thrust against his hand, and Loki was incredibly aware of the breeze moving around them, every slight sound. If someone came by-

If someone saw this-

One of Steve’s hands wormed between their bodies and fumbled to undo Loki’s clothes, and his hips rocked into even the brush of his hand, thoughtlessly. His voice was building up his throat, wanting to cry out, but suddenly Steve’s hand was clamped over his mouth. 

"Quiet," he said, his voice a little fractured but still a command, and heat surged in Loki’s veins, the urge welling up to abase himself, to give in and beg for Steve to just-

His hand tightened unconsciously on Steve’s cock as his tongue flickered out to taste his hand, and Steve made a strangled noise, his fingers fumbling and then his fingers enveloping him, and Loki could feel the calluses on his fingers, his palms, slightly harsh against sensitive skin. He arched into it with a sharp inhale, rocking forward so he could feel the heat radiating from Steve’s body and drink it in, feel everything all at once. He probed Steve’s palm with the tip of his tongue and felt Steve’s cock twitch in his hand.

"I think - I hear someone-" Steve said, his hand stopping, and Loki moved his, twisting slightly and letting his thumb press in places he knew Steve liked. His voice broke off into a gasp and Loki pressed closer to him, turned his head to take one of Steve’s fingers in his mouth, then two, swirling his tongue suggestively around them. Steve made a muffled sound, not quite a groan. If he dragged this out, Loki thought, if he could push Steve to the very edge of his patience and past…

Oh, that would be  _sweet._

Steve’s hand tightening and moving on his cock swept the thought out of his head, though, the tight heat in his stomach building and intensifying and he  _could_ hold off but didn’t particularly want to. He worked his hand on Steve’s erection faster, changing pressure, keeping the pace steady until Steve’s hips were thrusting towards him, his hand squeezing Loki in pulses that seemed nearly unconscious, that could have been too hard but were all the sweeter for that. Steve’s fingers moved in his mouth, pressed on his tongue, and Loki could hear him breathing raggedly and swallowing little sounds before they could escape. 

Loki slid his hand up and found the nerve cluster under the crown, ran his thumb over it. Steve went rigid, and he did it again, a little harder, and then relaxed his throat and slid his mouth down Steve’s fingers, letting his tongue flutter in very deliberate imitation, casting his gaze sidelong at Steve and letting lust shine through, undisguised. 

Steve made a sound that wasn’t quite a yelp, his body stiffening as he came messily into Loki’s hand, his on Loki moving in uneven strokes, rougher pulls than was his wont, still sucking in breaths like he couldn’t get quite enough air. He nudged at Loki’s chin with his thumb, withdrew his fingers, and moved, leaving another sucking kiss at the base of Loki’s throat. Loki felt it, deeply, knew there would be an ache there that he would feel after, like a fingerprint pressed into his skin that proclaimed him possessed, proclaimed him _someone’s-_

A shiver ran down his spine and his heart thudded, blood warming in his veins. He rocked forward against Steve, mouth open without a sound as he could feel himself drawing near orgasm, almost forgetting where they where. 

A crunch on gravel, somewhere behind them, and then a voice, startlingly loud and sounding a bit nervous. “Hey, is everything okay-“

Loki bit down on Steve’s shoulder so he didn’t yell when Steve’s hand jerked and it was a spike of mingled pain and pleasure, and someone there,  _right_ there, seeing them both like this tangled together-

His orgasm washed through him like a wave, sweeping him up and tumbling head over heels into something too intense to be quite called bliss. 

"Fine," Steve said, his voice just a little too high even as his fingers worked Loki through his climax into the other side. "We’re - it’s fine," and surely they knew, whoever it was, but Loki kept his body angled so Steve’s face was out of sight. Captain America with another man, fucking in the dark, was a story. Anyone else, it need not matter. 

"…okay," said the stranger’s voice, and then their footsteps moved off along the path. Loki released Steve’s shoulder and just breathed into his shirt. He smelled like sweat, but also like the tree. It was good. He swiped his thumb through the mess of Steve’s come and lifted his head to lick it off his fingers, the taste not pleasant but relishing nonetheless the way Steve’s eyes widened and his breathing caught, unable to look away. 

_You don’t deserve this,_ a little voice at the back of his mind reminded him.  _Pretend all you like. But look at him. He’ll see it eventually._

Loki pushed the thought away. Probably, yes. But until then…he would take what he could have.

Steve shook his head, finally, and laughed, a little shakily. “I can’t believe we just…”

He didn’t seem capable of finishing the sentence. Loki gave him a smirk, his body feeling languid. His mind was still whirring, though. Steve looked a little flushed, a little dazed. 

"If you’re not sure you believe it," Loki said, arching his eyebrows. "We could always have another go…"

Steve shook his head, though, even as he reached for Loki’s hand and took it in that strangely gentle way that made something in Loki churn uneasily. “I think - we need to get back,” he said, and then paused, and added, even if his face was bright red, “and then we can do…whatever you like.”

"That’s quite an invitation," Loki murmured, mind already flicking through ideas. Steve gave him a little smile, not quite rueful. 

"I don’t think I’m going to regret it."

"You might," Loki said lightly, and Steve just shook his head and gave his hand a squeeze, and Loki wished he had been jesting a little bit more than he was.


	17. on the floor

"You look antsy." 

"Is that surprising?" Loki paced back and forth, everything about him radiating tension and displeasure. Steve stayed by the door, trying to gauge the best thing to do in this situation. "I have not been permitted to leave this - gilded cage for a week. ‘Restless’ is insufficient to describe how I begin to chafe." 

"You know why," Steve started to say, frowning a little. Loki let out a hissing breath. 

"Yes, yes - one of  _them_ was sighted, it is for my own safety - sometimes I would rather take the risk than be trapped like-“

"Loki," Steve said, his own voice sounding sharp to his ears. It wasn’t quite alarm, but his stomach knotted, just hearing- "—it’s only for a little while."

Loki’s hands opened and closed at his sides. “I am aware.” He was silent a moment, and then continued, almost reluctantly, “You need not linger. I am not pleasant company.”

Steve shook his head. “I don’t want you to be up here by yourself.” He was trying to think of something he could do, wishing he could come up with better ideas to be helpful. 

"I shan’t do anything reckless," Loki said, with that sort of dryness that made Steve suspect that whatever Loki got up to - it might not be recklessness, but it was unlikely to be a good idea either. He tried to think of what he would do, if he were grounded and restless. 

"Would it help to spar?" he asked, almost cautiously, and Loki stopped pacing and turned, looked at him, eyes slightly narrowed. He seemed, Steve thought, startled by the offer. He took a slow breath and pushed on. "I mean…at least you could vent a little energy. And there’s no rule saying I can’t take you to another room in the tower. I mean - if you wanted to."

Loki’s eyebrows rose fractionally. “You’re not concerned you’d be outmatched?” 

Steve shrugged, and gave Loki a direct look. “I know you don’t want to hurt me. And I trust that you have enough control that you won’t.”

Loki’s face did something strange, a twitch somewhere between discomfort and something softer. His head turned slightly so he was looking at Steve sidelong. “It might,” he said, at length. “If you are willing.”

"I wouldn’t have offered if I weren’t." 

Loki paced over to him, still radiating tension. “Lead on, then.”

* * *

Steve had forgotten how  _fast_ Loki was, somehow. Quick and agile, his hand-to-hand a mixture of martial arts and gymnastics. Steve grappled him to the floor and Loki swept his feet out from under him; Steve threw a punch and Loki caught his wrist and flipped him to the mat. He moved like it was natural for him, even for the harsh, rapid sound of his breathing. Steve found himself thinking of Natasha, a few motions a curious choice for an opponent about equal to his size, and probably (if he was fair) not as strong - at least until he remembered that next to Thor, Loki was smaller. And probably next to most of Asgard. 

Steve was beginning to pick up on his patterns, though, and blocked the next flurry of strikes before lashing out himself. Loki jumped back and smiled, but there was something slightly wild in his eyes that made Steve’s stomach do flips. He wasn’t sure if they were a good thing or not. 

"You’ve got an interesting style," Steve dared to remark. Loki’s smile was sharp as a razor. 

"I developed it for myself." 

Loki attacked again. This time Steve kept his weight low, planted in his feet, and tried executing his own throw over his hip, using Loki’s quick momentum against him. Loki hit the mat and rolled up, his grin a little feral, and Steve was suddenly vaguely nervous. 

"We should do this more often," Loki said, light and careless. 

"Should we?" Steve said, with a bit of a frown, but then they were at it again. They went back and forth on relatively even ground - though Steve could feel himself wearing out - until he managed to hook one of his legs around Loki’s ankles, and they both went down hard. 

"Hold on a minute," Steve said, breathing hard, "I need to," and as he pushed himself up, glanced down at Loki pinned on the floor, his hair disheveled in a dark corona around his head, that slight flush high in his cheekbones, his eyes wide and dark, chest heaving, and felt a rush of heat through his whole body. 

"Need to?" Loki prompted. There was something in the back of his eyes that made Steve feel -  _something,_ but he wasn’t sure what it was. He could see the smirk starting at the corners of Loki’s mouth, and couldn’t resist leaning down to kiss it. 

The moment his lips touched Loki’s, Loki’s hands were buried in his hair, holding his head tightly, one of his legs hooking over the back of Steve’s thighs, his body thrusting upwards. Steve let out a muffled sound of surprise even as he felt a jolt spread from his groin into his stomach, up his spine to the base of his neck. “Ah-!” Loki’s teeth caught at his lip, nipped lightly, then soothed the same spot with his tongue, his fingernails dragging across Steve’s scalp. Steve could feel the heat of Loki’s groin against his thigh, but something was - nagging at him. 

At last, Loki’s head dropped back, their mouths parting. “Are you all right?” Steve asked, at once, fully expecting no answer. 

"No," Loki said, his voice harsh, almost hoarse. Steve jerked, startled. 

"No? What can I-"

"I need-" Loki made a harsh sound, and then shook his head. His eyes squeezed closed, and Steve reached out to touch his face, but Loki grabbed his wrist, almost too hard. "Fuck me. Hold me down and shove your cock into me so deeply that I feel it for hours-"

Steve jerked, his body responding to the tone of Loki’s voice and the words even if he still felt that - anxiety. “I don’t have any,” he started to say, and the noise Loki made and the way his body arched made Steve’s eyes widen and his heart pound. 

"Don’t-" Loki seemed about to say something else, then took a few ragged breaths and made a feeble gesture, a little jar dropping onto the mat. His other hand clutched at Steve’s shoulder, dug in. "Go on," he said, and his voice sounded a little clearer, more normal. His other leg hitched up over Steve’s hip, his body rolling deliberately up against him. "I want it. Here. Now." Steve’s blood seemed to almost sear in his veins, and his whole body was growing warm. "With your body slick with sweat-"

Steve dropped his head down to kiss Loki again. “You said,” he said, slowly, still trying to hold himself back, even if all he really wanted was to just go, thrust in and watch the way Loki’s masks broke away and he gave in to the pleasure that Steve could give him, both of them moving together. Loki’s nails dug into the back of his neck, and Steve hissed in a breath as his body jerked, not in displeasure. 

"Watching your body move has my cock aching," Loki said, his voice low and filthy and hot. "Can you blame me?" And his tongue traced a line up Steve’s neck. 

Steve’s blood and body surged, and he shifted his body, reached for his own pants to push them down, then moved his hands to Loki’s pants. Loki’s hips arched, and he made an impatient noise as he opened them and pulled them down. “Faster,” he urged, and Steve’s breathing picked up. 

"I don’t want to hurt you-"

"You won’t," Loki said, almost fiercely. Steve grabbed for the lube and unscrewed the top, covered his fingers liberally. Loki’s hips pushed up but Steve still glided his fingers over the sensitive skin between balls and asshole. Loki’s body clenched and he made a sound like a whine, and when Steve lined up his finger Loki’s hips thrust toward him and pushed it in to the second knuckle. 

He felt Loki spasm, heard him suck in a sharp breath even as his cock flushed darker, and the haze of desire faded a little. “—careful,” he said, breathlessly. Loki twisted underneath him. 

"No," he said, voice low and ferocious, and Steve almost pulled back, but  Loki shook his head. "I don’t mean - just-" His voice sounded strained, and his body had already relaxed again, loosening around his finger so he could slide it in all the way and work it in and out a few times before setting another alongside it.

Loki’s chest heaved twice and his hips twitched, but he waited, this time, a sound almost like a whine squeezed from his chest as Steve eased his fingers in more slowly even if every reaction and just  _looking_ at Loki made a fresh throb go through his body. Loki’s body felt startlingly hot as he spread his fingers slowly apart and the sound Loki made was almost a keen. 

"Loki," Steve breathed, and turned his head to kiss the inside of Loki’s wrist, lining up a third finger. Loki took a ragged breath. 

"I will never - tire of hearing you say my name," Loki almost gasped. "One of these - one of these days I will make you  _scream_ it when you come-” Steve curled his fingers inside Loki, seeking his prostate, and felt his entire body seize, his voice breaking off in a cry. 

"Enough," Loki said, "that’s enough teasing - I want you to come inside me, I want to feel your seed sliding down the inside of my thigh-"

Steve didn’t have the thoughts to be embarrassed by the noise he made at that, his face flushing hot, but he withdrew his fingers, and slicked his cock generously, his movements feeling clumsy, uncoordinated. Loki’s legs locked around his waist, then, his hips arching up to offer his ass so Steve’s cock rubbed against his loosened entrance and for a moment he could hardly breathe. 

“ _Move,_ " Loki said, his voice thick, and Steve’s hips bucked forward, just the head of his cock pushing past the first ring of muscle, and Loki’s body bent with a ragged moan, his eyes fluttering closed. Steve’s body pulsed, and he sucked in air to a chest that felt far too tight, his heart thundering in his chest. He slid a little deeper, trying to keep it slow, but between the motion of Loki’s body clenching around him and the angle of their bodies, it was hard to stop, and almost too fast he was pressed against Loki’s body, feeling him quiver, Thrust in deeper than he thought he’d ever been, and he could hear Loki gasping.

"Too much?" he pushed out, trying to draw back, but Loki’s ass clenched around him.

"No," Loki said, his voice almost harsh. "Just -  _perfect._ Can feel you - filling me. All the way. Hot and - I almost imagine - I could feel your pulse inside-“

Steve’s body did feel hot, all over, hot and almost frantic. He didn’t think he was going to last very long, and moved his hips, slowly, trying to start another thrust. Loki’s legs around his waist loosened, let him draw back, and then pulled them back together, the friction even with the lubricant slicking the way making Steve’s eyes slam closed. Loki’s body felt almost impossibly tight around the head of his cock, but the little fragmented noises Loki was making were not of pain, and the way his hips twisted were- 

"I think - I think s’too deep," Steve pushed out, and Loki shook his head. 

"I said that I - wanted to feel you - after, for days if I could - like the ache in your neck where my mouth has been-" Loki’s voice broke off, and his body clenched again, his hips rolling in a circle, and Steve gave up. 

His eyes squeezed closed, and it was white behind his eyes for a fraction of a moment, his thoughts short-circuiting for just a moment. His hips moved in little pulses, and Steve heard Loki make a faint sound, felt his body shudder. 

He reached for his cock, his brain still foggy, and to his surprise hardly wrapped his fingers around it when Loki followed him and came, mouth open in a soundless yell. 

He softened slowly, as his mind cleared. Loki’s eyes were closed, and his chest was still heaving, but he was limp, now, body almost liquid. Some hair was stuck to his forehead with sweat, and his lower lip had a deep indent in it from his own teeth. Steve reached out and moved the strand of hair gently off his forehead, the feeling of uncertainty coming back. Loki’s legs slid from his waist down to the mat, still splayed wide. and Steve glanced down and flushed a little at the mess. 

"Loki?" he said, carefully. Loki’s eyes opened to slits, and he smiled lazily. 

"I think your notion of sparring was a good one," he murmured. "I feel…much better now."

Steve flushed, and if there was warm wave of relief that went through him at the absence of that feral, frantic edge from Loki’s eyes, it didn’t quite wash away the feeling underneath that something had happened and he didn’t know what it was. 


	18. lazy morning sex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place the morning after the events of "reflected in someone like me."

He woke up slowly, rising naturally from deep sleep, to the sound of quiet breathing in his ear and with a warm weight draped over him. For a moment there was a touch of disorientation; he felt good, quiet, rested. There were no dreams clawing at his mind, just an agreeable feeling of languor, his body loose and relaxed. The body draped over his was like a warm, breathing blanket. It was like…safety, Loki thought suddenly. He felt…

His companion murmured something unintelligible in Loki’s ear, and snuggled closer, naked skin sliding smoothly against his, and Loki remembered.

Steve.

A slow smile began to bloom on his lips. He’d dreamed, or imagined, so many times, and yesterday…

He could still feel the ache in his shoulder where Steve had bitten him hard enough to mark. Remembered, vividly, Steve’s hand on his cock, almost shy, the way he’d twitched and shuddered when Loki had taken him in his mouth, the way he’d tasted coming, Steve’s hands lathering soap into his hair, gripping his shoulders, stroking his back-

He’d coaxed Steve into coming three times before he’d dragged Loki into bed and folded himself around him to fall into sleep almost immediately. Loki had apparently done the same, shortly after, and like an amulet, he’d kept the dreams at bay. Let him sleep peacefully for the first time in…a long time.

His body felt warm, heavy, but he was aware too of still latent arousal in himself, and the more insistent prod of Steve’s cock against the groove of his hip. Deep and even though his breath might still be for now, he would wake soon.

For a moment, Loki hesitated to hurry that, savoring this simple closeness almost too much to want to let it go, but that desire in itself decided him.

He glided his hands down Steve’s back and over his buttocks, keeping the touch light. Steve groaned lowly, body shifting as he stirred toward wakefulness. Loki felt a sudden twinge of anxiety, like lightning - what if there was regret, or anger, or disgust-

Any other lover he could destroy easily for such an insult, and had, once or twice, but here that was closed to him. Anything he did would be but a knife in his own gut. A trap he’d closed himself in-

Steve’s eyelids fluttered, and one of his hands brushed against Loki’s hip as his eyes blinked open, still slightly foggy, and he held himself perfectly still.

Loki let his eyes half close. “Good morning,” he said casually, as though there was not even a trace of tension humming in his bones.

For a moment Steve blinked at him, uncomprehending, and then he smiled sleepily, face cracking open to show such warmth that Loki almost flinched from it.

"Morning," he said, voice slightly raspy, and Loki felt a hand in his chest, squeezing around his heart. He wanted to shudder, terrified by the force of the feeling, and pushed both reactions down. Steve kissed him, a little sloppily, his mouth warm and wet. Loki leaned into it shamelessly, drank it in, filed this moment away in case…in case. "This is nice," Steve mumbled, a little sleepily.

"Mmm," Loki said, letting his fingers glide down Steve’s sides. "How do you feel?" 

Steve lowered his mouth and kissed his jawline. His eyes were closed again. “Hmm-mm. Do you mean…”

Loki lowered his voice into a slightly different register. “I may have gotten…a touch carried away.” He felt Steve twitch, reacting to his voice, and if he’d noticed that effect before…well. Assuredly something to remember. 

"No," said Steve at once, and then turned a little pink. "I mean - I feel - I feel good. Not - I’m good." 

"Good?" Loki echoed, and shifted his body just slightly to rub Steve’s erection against the groove of his hip. Steve went bright red even as his hips pulsed downward.

"Sorry-" 

Loki shifted his legs to wrap them around Steve’s waist, preventing him from pulling away. “Why?” he asked, and the slight playful note that slipped into his voice surprised him. “Why should you be sorry?” 

"Well, I-" Steve shook his head a little, and Loki threw him a smile.

“ _I_ don’t mind.” He could feel the predatory edges to it, and Steve seemed to see them too, his eyes widening a fraction. Loki unfolded his legs and nudged Steve’s shoulders. “Roll over.”

Steve hesitated a moment, but then obediently shifted to his back, and Loki moved to stretch out over him, and give him a long, slow kiss. He sat up just as Steve’s hands moved to his shoulders to straddle his hips and he let his thumbs run down and circle Steve’s nipples, drinking in the still slightly dazed, sleepy look on his face. 

"Hnnh," Steve said, and then pulled in a breath, his hands moving to rest heavily on Loki’s hips. His pupils were wide and dark. "—all right. I guess I’m -  _not_ sorry.” Loki let his thumbs draw another little circle, watching his nipples harden under his cool fingertips. Steve’s fingers dug in, just a little, as he inhaled. Loki let his eyes watch the play of muscles under skin, let his eyes trail down and then brought them back up. Steve was watching him with a strange look on his face, something that made Loki itch.

He looked away and shimmied his body down until he could mouth at the base of Steve’s throat, then draw a line with his tongue down his sternum. “That feels _mmm_ …” Steve’s voice still sounded slightly blurry, though Loki suspected a shift toward a different cause now. Loki’s body still felt warm and loose, and the thought flickered in his mind briefly to open himself with his fingers and slide over Steve’s cock, fuck himself slow and deeply until they were both writhing, sweaty-

_Wait,_ he told himself, and paused, letting his tongue dip into Steve’s navel, feeling him shudder, his hands gentle and warm as they roamed aimlessly over his back, into his hair. Loki let out a quiet purr and moved his mouth just below Steve’s navel, his cock nudging at his chin. Steve’s breathing snagged. 

"May I?" Loki murmured, his own arousal still a low but consistent throb in his belly. 

"You’re insatiable," Steve said. Loki dipped down to lick Steve’s stomach just above the base of his cock and felt him quiver. 

"So are you," he murmured, and Steve let out a quiet groan. 

"It’s just -  _you-_ ”

"Is that a compliment?" Loki asked, with a sharp little smile, and Steve made a sound like a breathless laugh. 

"Loki…"

He shifted so he could drag his tongue slowly up the sweet curve of Steve’s cock, taking his time to explore as he hadn’t in the first flush of physical desperation. The sound of Steve’s gasp, the feeling of him swelling more under Loki’s tongue…he let his tongue curl under and flick at the ridge under the head. Steve’s body bucked under his with a strangled sound.

"Aah-!"

Loki almost purred, pleased with the reaction, and traced a delicate circle around the slit of Steve’s cock, caught the tang of pre-spend and felt his body heat. He wrapped his mouth around the head of Steve’s cock and sucked to taste him better, letting his forefinger and thumb circle the base. He felt the muscles of Steve’s stomach flutter as he took several panting breaths. 

"Almost-" Steve’s hands clutched at Loki’s shoulders, his fingers dug in and then released. " _Loki-_ " 

Loki let his hands drift down to Steve’s hips, thumbs rubbing along the line of his pelvis, and slid his mouth down just a little further to hum softly. 

Steve gasped, his whole body suddenly taut. Loki’s own body felt full of liquid heat and he let his mouth slide a little lower, his tongue fluttering, finding the little folds of skin, swirling around the side and keeping a low, consistent tug of suction. Steve’s hands were in his hair now, blunt nails dragging over his scalp. He could draw this out, Loki thought. Drive Steve wild with want until - until what? What would he do then? 

But just now, this morning was too…sweet…to break. Even for him. So he just tightened the seal of his lips and let out another, slightly lower hum into the hard flesh in his mouth.

Steve’s body bucked violently, his hips thrusting up, and Loki relaxed his throat but he stopped, quivering, even as he came, his spend filling Loki’s mouth, bitter on his tongue but sweet in the way Steve’s hands clenched and tugged on his hair. 

He milked Steve dry with his mouth before lifting his body and stretching out over him, his body still languid even for the pulse of want in his loins. “Now I’m awake,” Steve said, though he didn’t really sound it. Or at least not alert. He was still breathing hard, eyes a little wide. Loki searched them for regrets. 

He found none. 

Whatever else happened, Loki thought, however fragile everything might be, even if nothing did (could) last - he would remember this. 


	19. outdoors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The one day that didn't end up being porn; I just kind of rolled with it. Everything I write is actually a character exercise in disguise anyway, I begin to suspect.

They landed in thick forest and Steve slumped almost at once against a tree, slid down to sit on the ground, breathing hard. Loki paced around him, alert for any sound, but other than a few distant sounds of bird song there was nothing.

"You shouldn’t have come," Steve said, when he’d recovered his voice, and it stung like a slap in the face. Loki didn’t quite snarl as he jerked back, and Steve shook his head quickly. "I didn’t mean…" 

"It is a bit late for regrets now, is it not?" Loki said, hearing his own voice, cool and slightly foreign. "I made my choice. You cannot unmake it." He took a step forward. "Let me see your arm."

"It’s fine." 

"I’m not that blind, Captain." His own voice sounded cold, but he felt it, too, tense and uneasy.  _You shouldn’t have come._ "Let me see it. I can hear you breathing through pain from here."

Steve was quiet a moment longer, but he sighed, and his chin dropped down a little. Loki padded carefully over and knelt down. He could feel the wrongness the moment his fingers brushed his arm. He felt his mouth tighten. That they would  _dare-_

"Loki," Steve said, sounding strained, and he realized that his teeth were bared. "I’m all right. Don’t…"

"Let me mend it." 

Steve started, a little. “You said healing magic wasn’t your-“

"Forte, no. That hardly means I am simply going to sit by and watch you suffer for however long it takes your friends to get here." Loki twitched his shoulders. "Or would you rather suffer?" 

"No," said Steve. "But-"

Loki gathered the threads of power and let the flow down his arm into Steve’s, found the break in the bone. It was ugly, but he’d done this before, letting his power block the pain and then nudging the bone gently back into place, urging it to knit. He could feel the strain in his chest and ignored it until he was sure it would heal cleanly, and then drew his hands back and opened his eyes. Steve was staring at him with a strange expression.

"There," Loki said, keeping his voice plain. "I daresay that should be better." 

Steve’s fingers flexed and he tested the arm. “It is,” he said, slowly. “Thank you.” He took a deep breath. “Earlier…I didn’t mean that…you’re going to be in trouble for this.” 

"For removing an American icon from life-threatening peril? A strange thing to object to," Loki said airily. Steve shook his head. 

"You know that’s not what I’m talking about. They’re going to see it as…you thinking you can just ignore the rules when you feel like it." 

Loki smiled, and it felt a little too wide. “I can, can’t I?”

"Loki-" A faint note of exasperation slipped into Steve’s voice, but a moment later he just shook his head. "How did you even know that something was wrong?"

"I just knew." A lie, if a small one. A spell he’d woven into Steve’s bones, after the last time, triggered by significant physical damage. 

"You just…" Steve closed his eyes, and rubbed them with one hand. "And you took off without so much as a word to anyone."

"I did not attempt to hide myself," Loki said, a sour feeling settling in his chest. 

"That’s not the point." 

"Would you rather I had left you?" Loki burst out, and wished he had not the moment the words left his mouth, but then Steve said, "Yes!" and he jerked as though the air had been knocked from his chest. 

"How do you think I’ll feel if you get kicked out over this? It’s not  _safe_ for you out there-“

"I’m not a bird you can keep in a glass cage," Loki almost snarled, and Steve shook his head, shoving himself to his feet though his face was still pale. 

"That’s not what I - if the others throw you out, where will you go? Do you think I’d - do you think I’d be  _okay_ with being the reason you ended up in danger, the reason you ended up  _hurt,_ _again?_ ”

Loki blinked. Steve looked like he was almost shaking, which of course was leftover pain, or shock, but it still… “Sit down,” he said, absently, before, more quietly, “What do you mean, ‘again?’”

Steve shook his head and looked down, his mouth a stubborn line. “You’d just argue with it. And I’m not - I’m  _not_ going to change my mind.”

Loki shifted, feeling suddenly uncertain. “You are not responsible for protecting me from the consequences of my choices,” he said, at length. 

Steve looked up, and Loki almost took a step back at the obstinacy suddenly present in his stare. “Then why are you responsible for mine?”

_I am far less vulnerable than you are,_ Loki thought, almost vehemently, and quieter,  _I am far more expendable,_ but he did not want to linger on that thought or examine the truth he could feel in it, that when it came down to the line, his own life weighed fairly light on the scales. 

"Sit down," he said again, instead of replying, after a few moments of heavy silence broken only by the warning call of a squirrel. "You may be healed, but you’re still tired."

After a moment, Steve sank down, but his face fell. “C’mere?” he said, after a moment, looking at Loki sidelong, the question almost shy. “Just…I’m sorry. It’s not that…I’m grateful. I  _am._ I just…I’ve been in worse situations, and I don’t want you to lose your chance because of me.”

_I only have one because of you._ Loki couldn’t make the words come out of his throat, and chose instead to pad over silently and fold himself down next to Steve with just a little distance between them. Steve reached out, though, and pulled him closer, his head turning up to catch Loki’s mouth in a brief, almost chaste kiss. 

"They’ll be grateful enough to see you that I’m sure I will be forgotten," Loki said easily. Steve made a face like he was slightly displeased by something, but he didn’t say what, just shifted to give Loki a more proper kiss. Loki shifted to straddle his legs to make the angle easier, and savored it, parting his lips to invite Steve’s tongue into his mouth. Both Steve’s hands clasped around his neck.

"I just want you to be safe," he murmured on Loki’s mouth, and Loki felt a shudder down his spine, made himself answer, "I am  _never_ safe, Captain, don’t you know who I am?” with all the cockiness in him. Steve just kissed him again, long and slowly.

His hands slid down Loki’s sides to his hips, rubbed circles above his hipbones. He bit Steve’s lower lip, felt him shudder and his hips jerk forward. Loki wanted Steve’s hands on his cock, wanted him to push him up against this tree and fuck him dry with deep, long strokes, wanted Steve to understand what he was, wanted Steve to carve out his rotten heart like bad wood and replace it with something whole. Steve wanted to keep him safe, and he needed to be broken open.

His body surged, wanton, toward Steve’s, ground them together and kissed him with near savagery, but he could already hear the whine of approaching aircraft. There wasn’t  _time._

"It’ll be all right," Steve said, when he pulled away. If Loki could feel his heart starting to race, he seemed calmer by contrast. "I’ll make sure it’s clear what happened." He kissed Loki one more time, softly. "I’ll make sure nothing happens."

It was an ache at the base of his spine, the  _no,_ locked in his throat.  _No. Let it happen._


	20. voice kink

"I’ve never asked," Loki said conversationally, sipping a glass of ice water, "if there’s anything you desire that I’ve neglected."

Steve almost coughed as he inhaled a little of his own water. He looked at Loki, carefully, but Loki’s expression was genuinely curious. “That I…nah,” he managed, feeling his face heat up. “I’m good. I mean - you’re so…” He trailed off, and finally settled on saying with determined fairness, “You seem to know what I like already.”

Loki’s smile was quick and faint, but like a burst of sunlight even so - one of those rare expressions of genuine pleasure. “I try,” he murmured, with entirely false modesty, and Steve hid his affectionate smile in a sip of water. “But - is there anything else?”

I’d hardly know what to ask for, was Steve’s first thought, but then he remembered one thing Loki had said, once…he shifted, suddenly self conscious. “There is…one thing.”

"Oh?" Steve could hear the undertone, even in that one word, and it warmed his body a little.

”You sometimes…you have this way of…talking,” he said, and studied the table, worried that the look on Loki’s face would rob him of the ability to speak. “It doesn’t - it doesn’t so much matter what it is you say, it’s just a particular - tone, I guess, that I…” Steve hunted for the phrase. ‘Turns me on’ sounded so…banal, to his ear. Not quite right. “…I like what it does to me,” he said, finally, and if he felt hot and embarrassed one glance up at Loki’s face, his eyes half closed with that look that made Steve’s pants tighten.

"Is that so," Loki murmured, and Steve was embarrassed by the way even just the hint of that voice ran down his spine and squeezed warmly in his groin.

"You said once," Steve went on in a rush, "that you wondered how…how far you could take me. Just by talking like that."

The idea had stuck in his head, lodged somewhere where even brushing against it made his blood feel hot, the idea of Loki murmuring in his ear, velvet voice caressing every word no matter how filthy, enough to make him feel like taking a cold shower. Loki took a slow sip of his water, and then set it down.

"Do you want to find out?" He asked, and  _oh_. That was…Steve’s breathing quickened.

"Yes," he said, his voice coming out a little breathless, and Loki smiled. A dangerous, wicked sort of expression that made Steve’s stomach swoop. He leaned back, lounging, and Steve hesitated. "What…"

"When you wear those buttoned shirts," Loki said, "Sometimes I imagine opening them a button at a time using only my teeth while you quiver, every muscle strung taut with your fingers in my hair." 

The breath whooshed out of Steve in a rush, something about the calm, almost casual expression on Loki’s face coupled with that  _voice_ going straight to his cock. His hand wobbled and he set down his water glass quickly so he didn’t spill it on himself. Loki leaned back in an elegant sprawl, his hands resting on his thighs, and Steve swallowed hard. 

"I’d lick a line up your naked chest and feel the way you’d shudder when I wrapped my tongue around your nipple. Listen to your breathing change pace. Hear your heart start to pound. I savor that sound as much as the warmth of your skin and the way it almost burns…"

Steve took a breath through his nose and closed his eyes for a moment, one hand clenching in a couch cushion. His khakis were beginning to feel uncomfortably snug, and he squirmed a little in his seat. Loki’s eyes narrowed, slightly predatory. 

"Open your pants," he murmured, his voice rich and smooth and Steve wanted to just reach forward and drag him across the table,  _already._ "Push them over your hips, but don’t touch." Steve groped his hands down and did as Loki said, pushing pants and boxers down together. "I want to see your cock swell and harden from my voice alone, curving so  _sweetly_ upwards so I can almost feel its weight on my tongue, the faint flavor of your skin.” 

Steve’s mouth went dry, and his whole body clenched tight. He heard the sound he made, not quite a whimper, and his cheeks flushed warmly. “Are you just going to - sit there?” He managed to push out. Loki smiled wider. 

"I guess we’ll have to see," he purred, and Steve swallowed hard. Loki leaned forward, eyes gleaming. "I wish you could see yourself right now. Your pupils blown wide, a flush spread across your face…it’s positively  _sinful._ I don’t doubt there are women - and men - who come on their own hands trying to imagine you like this. And here you are,  _mine._ " There was a low thrum in his voice on that last word, and Steve almost felt it vibrate through his body, the possessive undercurrent there making Steve twitch and his cock pulse. His mouth fell a little open and he inhaled, felt his hips rock forward and made himself keep his hands at his sides even if his lower belly was starting to ache. 

"Loki," he said, his voice coming out sounding a little thin. Loki hummed, his head tilting back to show off his long white throat. 

"I’d suck you dry," he said, and Steve caught a slight roughening of his voice. "Lick you clean and then take you again, let your cock ease into my throat and swallow until it aches and you come again, your muscles turning liquid-"

Steve groaned, a low throb pulsing through his body and he needed a touch, or  _something._ Loki’s voice felt like it was rolling through him in waves, pushing him closer but never quite far enough. “Unnh- this is, how do you-” He panted a few breaths, and Loki leaned forward further, his gaze burningly intense. 

"But then - I think about teasing you, too, the beautiful way you get frustrated, the way it feels when I push you and you keep trying to hold it in until it explodes out of you. When you command, demand, when your mouth is hot and hungry and I can feel your fingers digging in." Loki hummed, a low, delighted sound of pleasure that made Steve jump. " _Oh,_ that’s sweet.”

Steve inhaled enough to say, “I’d really - like to be touching you right now.”

"I’m not done," Loki said, voice full of promise, and Steve shivered almost violently. "Sometimes when you’re buried to the hilt gasping inside me, all I want is for you to fuck me until I can hardly breathe, and then further until all I can think of is your cock rubbing against my insides." His voice was like silk and the words were harsh and Steve’s chest felt tight, hardly even paying attention to what Loki was saying anymore, just letting it wash through him, his whole body hot and sensitive and  _on fire_  and he couldn’t believe that he hadn’t just-

Loki was there, suddenly, close, his fingers light on Steve’s face. “When I am alone,” he said, his voice soft, almost inaudible, an indistinct murmur. It still echoed all the way through Steve’s body to make his nerves hum, even as he hardly understood the words. “I think of all the things I want to do to you. Everything I want you to do to me. All the perverse things I can imagine. I want to be undone. I want you to leave your mark on my neck, my body, my entrails, carved deep enough that it never washes away, never heals-”

Steve’s breath snagged in his throat, and distantly, he thought he caught something that made a quiet alarm bell ring in the back of his head, but he was too full of that voice to hear the words, too excruciatingly aware of his body and the need that was almost a cramp between his legs, his cock painfully hard and yet still not…

Loki’s breath whispered across the shell of his ear, and his fingers hovered, tantalizingly near, but they pulled away at the thrust of his hips. “You’re beautiful,” he murmured, and Steve shuddered. “Glorious. A saint would sin to see you now. And I am no saint.” 

Loki’s teeth closed on the shell of his ear, very lightly, and his tongue flicked out to brush the skin. 

Steve let go with a sound that surprised him in both volume and harshness, his whole body bending, his eyes slamming closed. All he could do was feel and ride it out, panting for air, Loki’s fingers finally closing around his untouched cock to stroke him through it.

He felt like jelly when it began to subside, and blinked a little stupidly, trying to regather scattered thoughts. He looked at Loki’s face first, though, just in time to catch him wiping a small smear of come off his cheek and licking it from his finger, his expression - smug. Pleased with himself. 

Steve reached over and hooked his fingers into Loki’s pants to pull him down to the couch with a groan. “It’s not fair,” he said, his voice sounding a little bit slurred. “I can’t - I can’t do  _that_ to you.” 

Loki’s smile was a little strange. “Ah, Captain,” he murmured, as Steve pulled him into an open-mouthed kiss, “you have no idea what you do to me.” 


	21. shower sex

He had just started the shower running and ducked his head under the water when he heard the soft sound of bare feet on the tiles. He turned around, an apology on his lips, and stopped when he saw Loki leaning against the doorframe, wrapped in a white sheet and looking Steve over with an appreciative expression. Steve felt himself flush. 

"I didn’t mean to wake you up," he said. Loki’s slow gaze paused around Steve’s crotch and his tongue slipped out to swipe across his lower lip. Steve’s body felt suddenly very warm. 

"That’s quite all right," Loki murmured, still sounding a little sleepy. His hair was slightly mussed, Steve noticed, his face - relaxed, much like the expression he got just after coming. "I am a light sleeper." His eyes trailed back up Steve’s body to his face, and he raised his eyebrows. "Were you going to wash?" 

"I - was thinking I would," Steve said. 

"May I join you?" 

"Sure," said Steve, trying to keep his tone from changing too much. By the slight smirk that tugged up the corner of Loki’s mouth, it wasn’t entirely successful. Loki dropped the sheet and stepped out of it, padding over, and Steve took a moment to just admire the easy way he moved, almost liquid, and the subtle shift of muscles under pale skin.

One of Loki’s hands brushed his waist as he leaned in to mouth at Steve’s shoulder. “Remember the first time we were here?” he murmured. “The taste of water mingled with your sweat, soap slick as your body rubbed against mine…”

Steve made a small sound without really meaning to, and Loki laughed quietly on his shoulder and stepped around him, turning on the shower and stepping into it, tilting his head back with his eyes closed to wet his hair. Steve followed him after a moment, suddenly aware of the heavy feeling of his cock between his legs. Loki shifted slightly to make room for him under the spray, and as Steve stepped under it, he ducked his head quickly to suck at the offered skin of Loki’s extended neck. 

Loki made a small, pleased, “hmm,” his body rocking forward to press briefly against Steve’s, and even under the hot water he still felt cool. His hands spread out over Steve’s shoulder blades, fingers splayed wide.

Steve pulled back reluctantly, but only to reach for the shampoo. “Turn around,” he said, and Loki turned, throwing a smile over his shoulder. Steve poured some of the shampoo into his palms, set it aside, lathered his hands together, and then began to work his hands through Loki’s hair, rubbing his fingers over his scalp, running them through tangles until silky black hair was covered in foamy white lather and Loki was almost slumping back against him and Steve didn’t bother to hold back a slightly smug smile. “Feels good?” 

"I can hear you smirking," Loki said, a little blurrily, but he tipped his head back into Steve’s hands just the same. "Just for that - you are sleeping on the couch." He didn’t sound even remotely sincere, and Steve just shook his head and combed his fingers through one more time before pulling them away. "All right. Rinse."

Loki tipped his head obediently back, the lather running out of his hair and down his back, a few stray suds sliding down his front to catch on the slight ridge of his hipbones and the thought popped into his head of chasing a drop of water down Loki’s body, tracing the path it would take through dips of muscle with Loki braced against the shower wall and making those unquiet noises of pleasure-

If he hadn’t been hard before, he was now, and Steve tried to bite his lip to control himself.

He opened his eyes and found Loki looking at him. More pointedly, looking at his cock, head slightly tilted, and he was half about to apologize when he noticed Loki’s hand on his own half-hard cock, his eyes slightly dark. 

The way Loki stepped over to him, just two sliding steps with a slight motion of his hips, made Steve’s knees feel a little wobbly. How did he  _do_ that? With that look on his face, his hair slicked back and his body wet and gleaming-

Steve almost lunged forward, pulling Loki into a kiss. His skin was warm now, his body sliding in to fit against Steve’s, hips slotting together and the electric jolt of feeling of his cock trapped between the two of them pressed closed together. He rutted helplessly against Loki, the mix of friction and slide through water making him gasp. 

Loki pulled back and bent his head to nip Steve’s shoulder. “Did you - plan this?” Steve said, a little breathless. 

"I was just going to watch," Loki said, "But how can I not indulge, when you’re right there, looking so thoroughly… _delicious_?” Steve sucked in a breath. 

"You’re-" Steve gave up on trying to articulate it, and worked his hand between them, gathered his cock and Loki’s together and wrapped his fingers around them both. He took a sharp breath in, feeling suddenly every inch of silky skin pressed hard against him, the head of Loki’s cock bumping against his and sending a jolt down his cock and up his spine-

Loki’s back arched and his teeth dug into Steve’s shoulder almost too hard, pushing against his hand. Steve flexed his fingers carefully, almost gingerly, and Loki’s hands flew up and clamped on Steve’s biceps. 

"Ah - more of that-"

Steve loosened his hand and tried experimentally moving his own hips to push his cock along Loki’s and was rewarded by a low, throaty noise as Loki released his shoulder and tossed his head back, eyes closed, water streaming over his neck and collarbones, chest rising and falling in sharp little breaths. Steve’s own body felt tight, arousal a heavy weight low in his belly, but he was not going to- not going to come before he could coax Loki to-

He moved aggressively, determined, and pushed Loki up against the tiled wall, pinned him there and pulled his hand away so they were body to body, Loki’s cock hot against his hip. He shifted to rub his thigh forward, and Loki’s body snapped taut, grinding against him with a ragged sound. 

"Steeeve," Loki said, the vowel in his name stretched out in a way that made Steve shiver with delight, a warm bubble swelling in his chest that he could get Loki to sound like that. He moved his whole body against Loki’s again, the slick sound of water between their bodies and the water pounding on tile not nearly enough to muffle the sounds Loki was making, half desperate little gasping breaths, his head dropped back against the wall, eyelids fluttering, and just  _looking_ at him Steve’s whole body gave a throb. 

"I like - I like looking at you like this," Steve said, his own voice sounding thick and heavy. "You’re just - beautiful, and that I can - that I can make you feel good-"

Loki squirmed, almost writhing between Steve and the wall, his fingers digging in to muscle. “A-aah,” he said, sounding almost completely breathless, and Steve could feel his hips moving in little jerks. He rocked his leg forward and then back. Need was an ache between Steve’s legs, his cock sliding against Loki’s hip just not quite enough, but he gritted his teeth and bit his lip before kissing Loki not quite with desperation, letting his teeth catch Loki’s lower lip and nip just lightly.

Loki’s fingernails dug into skin and the sound dragged out of his throat wasn’t quite a howl, his body arching as his come spattered Steve’s stomach only to be washed away by the water still coursing down his body. Steve took one look at Loki’s face, flushed, his lips bright and his mouth open as he took deep, gasping breaths, and gave up on holding back as well, his orgasm leaving streaks of white up to Loki’s chest. 

Loki was almost boneless underneath him, and Steve kept his hands braced against the shower wall, not quite trusting his legs. 

"You ought to - do that more often," Loki murmured, when his breathing had slowed a little. "I like you when you are - commanding." The water pounding on Steve’s back was starting to go cold. "Are you sure you need to…mmm…leave now?"

"Maybe not this instant," Steve allowed, after a moment’s wavering. It was nice to feel Loki like this. Loose and relaxed, almost…open. 

He didn’t want to lose a moment of it. 


	22. on the desk

Steve jumped and just managed not to yelp when he turned around to sharpen one of his pencils over the garbage and saw Loki perched on his bed, one knee folded up to his chest and chin resting on it, watching him in a contemplative manner. 

"When did you get here?" he blurted out, one hand going almost automatically to turn over the sketches he’d been doodling, a few of them featuring Loki himself in - various states of undress. Or ecstasy. Then he shook himself and added, "You’re not supposed to be allowed…"

"And there you have it," Loki said, cocking his head a little to the side. "I was never very good with ‘not supposed to,’ as I suspect you know. Besides I finished my books, and I was bored."

"You’ve got almost a whole library up there," Steve objected. Loki shrugged. 

"I read it. I shall require more when you have the time." He let go of his leg and leaned forward on the bed. "Are you sketching?" 

"I was," Steve said, not quite able to sound as displeased as he wanted to. "But it’s nothing finished," but Loki had already moved fluidly off the bed and padded over, lifting Steve’s hand off the sketches and turning one over. 

Steve’s face got hot. It was one of Loki totally naked, a couch barely sketched in underneath his body sprawled, loose-limbed, with his head thrown back, mouth open and eyes closed. His cock was erect and drawn in the same careful detail as the rest. The entirety of his posture was pleasure, release, abandon. Seeing it as Loki might - it looked childish, suddenly, or foolish, or seemed like he’d put down on paper something that was supposed to be private-

He didn’t dare to look at Loki’s face. 

"Hmm," Loki said, at length, and set down the sketch again. "This is what you’ve been drawing?" His tone was impossible to read. Steve wanted to wince. 

"—some of it. Lately."

"You’ve been drawing…me," Loki said, and Steve dared to look up, finally, and found a strange look on Loki’s face, almost…

Then it bloomed into a smile. “You’re going to make me blush,” Loki said, almost drawled. “Perhaps I should model for you, no?” Steve glanced at his eyes, trying to judge if he was being made fun of. They were shining, though, bright and vivid and unmistakably pleased. Warmth swelled in Steve’s chest, and relief, too. 

"You don’t mind?" 

"Mind? No." Loki’s lips turned up at the corners. "Though I think you’ve erred a little on the side of flattery."

"I was just drawing from memory," Steve said, with a little smile, and Loki laughed softly and leaned down to kiss him. He sucked Steve’s lower lip into his mouth, released him, and moved to scrape his teeth against his jaw. 

"I think you should clear off your desk of your lovely sketches," Loki murmured, into his ear, "so you can fuck me on it with my legs wrapped around your waist. You might find some new material, hmm?" and Steve almost felt blood rush downwards, his mouth opening in a soundless gasp, pants suddenly snug. 

He felt like a teenager sometimes, with Loki, like he didn’t even have a semblance of control over his libido, like Loki hardly had to do anything to get him going, and it would have been embarrassing if it weren’t so - enjoyable. 

"Is this what you do when you’re bored?" he said, trying to keep his breathing even and not just sweep everything off his desk and get to. Loki arched his eyebrows. 

"Is that a problem?" Loki sidled a little forward so he was straddling one of Steve’s legs, and ran his thumbnail down Steve’s neck. "I could always think of alternatives…"

Steve made a small noise that was unintelligible even to him, and moved quickly, gathering his papers and pencils and dropping them on the floor. He moved his hands to Loki’s hips, but Loki had already pushed himself up so he was sitting on the edge of Steve’s desk, his legs splayed wide, his feet - his bare feet, Steve realized suddenly - running along the outside of Steve’s thighs. Loki leaned back, the expression on his face almost a challenge;  _well?_

"You," Steve started to say, and then took a shallow breath as one of Loki’s feet moved over the top of his thigh, his toes pressing lightly on Steve’s groin, kneading once, his eyes on Steve’s calculating,  _wicked._ Steve let out a groan and on impulse grabbed Loki’s foot and pulled it away only so that he could lean in and press his mouth against the inseam of Loki’s pants - black slacks, today - mouthing at his inner thigh through black fabric. He felt Loki jerk and make a breathy sound, muscle flexing taut.

_There,_ he thought with satisfaction, and when he pulled back it was only to stand and pull Loki forward with hands in his hair to catch his mouth and give him a slow, deep kiss even as Loki’s hands slid up under his shirt. “Take it off,” Loki murmured, on his mouth, voice slightly thick. “I want to be able to look at you-“

Steve pulled back and tugged his shirt off over his head, taking a moment to catch his breath. He looked at Loki and felt a little thrill to realize that he was already flushed, his hair mussed from Steve’s hands in it, one of his hands between his legs and kneading himself roughly through his slacks-

Steve felt his mouth open a little, and then surged forward again, pushing his hand down between them as they kissed again, replacing Loki’s with his own, his heart pounding at the heat pressing against his palm. Loki inhaled a ragged gasp. 

"I wonder - I wonder if you could - make me come with - just your cock inside me," Loki said, his voice sounding a little breathless as his hips ground into Steve’s hand. "Pin my hands down and wring me dry without a single touch. I might scream your name. Would you -  _unh-_ ”

Steve sucked hard at the pulse point of Loki’s neck and felt his heartbeat hammer under his lips. He pulled his hand away and Loki’s hips arched with a sound like a whine.

_“_ I want - that sounds-” Steve took a deep breath through his nose. “—I want you to feel so much that you can’t even form words, that you’re just making those - glorious, beautiful, sounds-“

Loki moaned, low and loud, and one of his hands moved. Steve blinked and Loki was spread out naked on his desk. “Hands,” Loki said, not quite plea or demand but somewhere in between. “I want your fingers - twisting in me, spreading me open until your cock slides in-“

Steve’s penis gave an almighty throb in his pants and he sucked in a few breaths, his thoughts flying apart a little. “Left hand drawer,” Loki exhaled, sounding almost frustrated. “I may have put it there-“

Steve half wanted to ask  _when_ or maybe  _how,_ but he just yanked the drawer open, pulled out the little jar similar to the one Loki had, and smeared lube over his fingers. Loki’s hips tilted so Steve could see his balls, flushed slightly darker than the rest of his body, the stretch of smooth skin behind and-

He lined up his index finger and let it circle the pucker of Loki’s hole, felt muscle flutter under his fingertips and heard Loki’s soft exhale. He looked up at Loki’s face as he began to tease the tip of his finger in, the first little way opening easily until he met the first ring of muscle. He brushed his fingertip gently against the resistance, brought his free hand to grip Loki’s thigh and squeeze. Loki made a low sound and Steve felt his body relax and open. The rest was easier, his knuckle catching briefly, but when he twisted his finger experimentally Loki’s whole body jerked like it had been an electric shock and Steve heard his teeth click together. He hesitated. 

"Too much?" He pushed out. His entire body felt like it was thudding to his pulse, and he kept thinking about the way Loki’s long, slender legs would feel locked around his waist as Steve thrust against him, making it hard to focus. Loki made a strangled sound and one of his fists thudded on the desk, clenched tightly. 

“ _More,_ " he said, and that  _was_ demand. Steve twisted his finger again, pulled it out and began easing the second in while Loki was still writhing. Steve’s breathing sounded ragged and fast in his own ears, unable to take his eyes off the way Loki moved, the flush spread down from his face over his chest as Steve worked his fingers deeper. His eyes were squeezed shut, body almost quivering, and Steve tried another little twist, but Loki was still tight enough that only one of his fingers rotated around the other. 

His body bucked and he cried out, a surge of clear precome spilling from the head of his cock. Steve scissored his fingers slowly, trying to ease Loki open, curled his fingertips carefully, trying to find-

Loki gasped, his eyes opening wide, his cock giving a violent twitch and smearing his stomach with wet. Steve started the motion again, but it appeared Loki had reached the end of his patience. “Your  _cock,_ Steve, let me take it, push into me, deep and  _deeper,_ I want to taste your seed at the back of my throat-“

Steve had withdrawn his fingers and started stripping himself almost before he realized what he was doing, his head full of Loki’s words in that voice almost desperate, his body pounding and his cock a violent ache between his legs. He swiped more lube from the jar and wrapped his hand around his cock and felt like he could come just like that, but Loki was right there and almost shuddering, his pupils blown wide and his hands opening and closing spasmodically. 

He lined his cock up, but it seemed too tight, not enough preparation. He was about to draw back, or ask, something, when Loki’s legs wrapped around his waist like a snake, and he pulled Steve forward and into his body in one swift motion.

Steve saw stars, for a moment, and thought he might explode at the sudden tight, hot, almost vice grip of Loki’s body around him. He panted, the feeling almost too much, and under him Loki was gasping and quivering, his cock looking (impossibly) harder. “Fuck me,” Loki said, and Steve braced his hands on Loki’s hips and rocked his body carefully, not wanting to push too hard. 

Loki’s body bent like a bow and then his hands flashed forward, digging into Steve’s shoulders. His heels pressed into the small of Steve’s back, urging him deeper, and Steve let out an awful groan. 

"Loki," he managed. "It’s too - you’re too-"

Loki’s muscles clenched and Steve almost yelled, only managed not to by biting his lip. He could almost feel the pounding of his own heartbeat, his cock held so tightly that there was hardly room for- but then Loki was relaxing, a shudder running through his whole body, and Steve slid a little deeper. He couldn’t breathe, his chest was too tight, and Loki was making little gasping noises, his legs flexing where his thighs pressed against Steve’s body. 

Steve pushed back against those heels and moved in a shallow experimental thrust. Loki made a faint and ragged sound, and Steve repeated the motion. The tightness was still almost too much, but the lube slicked their bodies together, made motion easier, and this time when Loki’s legs flexed to urge him deeper Steve slid in fully, the angle pushing him deeper than he could remember being. Loki rocked forward, leaning his weight a little more onto Steve and pushing him just a little bit further in, and it was tight, slick heat around Steve’s entire cock. Loki was twitching with almost every breath, his eyes flicking between wide open and squeezed shut, his lips parted. He looked obscene, indecent. 

Wonderful. 

"Are you just - just going to - stay there," Loki said.

"No," he said, almost defiantly. Steve braced his hands on Loki’s hips, wrapped his hands over them, and rocked back. Loki’s legs let him move, but not far; Steve still took what he was given and then thrust back, starting a rhythm of slow thrusts, as long as he could make them. His head and heart were pounding and he needed to let go, needed to come, but he held it back.

What started as gasps became keens, and Loki’s legs fell wider open, his hips moving with the motion of Steve’s. His cock was flushed almost violently, entirely untouched, twitching with every thrust, almost dripping with clear fluid. Steve pulled Loki’s hips a little higher, experimentally, altered the angle, and slid in. 

The keen turned into a whine, and Loki flung his head back, swallowing rapidly. Steve moved again, letting his eyes slide down to watch Loki’s cock twitch with every thrust, wondering if he  _could_ get him to come like this-

He shifted angle again, just slightly, and Loki howled, his nails digging into Steve’s shoulders as he came, still fucking himself even as Steve tried to hold still, streaks of come painting his chest in white. His eyes were huge, his pupils blocking out almost all the green.

Steve couldn’t hold on anymore through the clench of Loki’s muscles in orgasm, the sudden squeeze of his cock shoving him brutally over the edge. 

Loki slumped back, draped over Steve’s desk, and oh god. The noise he’d made - had anyone heard that? If anyone came running now - Steve sank down into his chair again as his cock slid out of Loki, followed by a dribble of come, his knees weak. 

Loki made a low, very quiet purring noise. Steve could see his asshole, the way he was still splayed open, red and slightly puffy, and felt - possessive, suddenly. In a warm, pleasant way. He blinked, a little stupidly. Well, no one had banged down his door yet.

He stole another look at Loki, who looked like he was still dazed himself. His eyes were half closed, his body still flushed warm pink. Steve closed his own eyes and locked that image away, somewhere safe. 


	23. trying new position

When Steve drew back, Loki recognized the look on his face as the one that he got when he had a question he wasn’t quite sure how to ask. Loki didn’t push for it, just bent his head to nibble across Steve’s collarbones, tongue catching the light taste of salt-sweat. He was in no rush, happy to be tangled together like this, limbs wound like ivy.

"Loki," said Steve, suddenly. "Would you ever - would you ever want to - penetrate me?" 

Loki fell still. The question sounded sincere, and this  _was_ Steve. He wouldn’t ask unless he meant it. But…

"Did I say something wrong?" Steve asked, sounding suddenly worried, his hands gripping Loki’s shoulders and pushing him back, bright eyes examining him with too-naked concern that made his skin prickle. 

"No," Loki said, though cautiously. "Of course not." He was trying to think quickly. Might Steve be offering because he thought Loki wanted him to? Perhaps he was not aware of the - implications. Perhaps-

(At the same time, though, there was a flicker of warmth low in his stomach, flavored slightly with  _he trusts me_ and more with the sudden acute desire to watch Steve come undone on his cock, to work him open slowly and bring him gasping, quivering to climax, to take it slow and easy and maybe he could get Steve to ask for more.)

He closed his eyes and tried to get the image to subside. 

"You’ve got - a look," Steve said, and Loki could almost hear his eyebrows furrowing. "There is something. What…"

"Are you offering because you feel that otherwise you will not have reciprocated appropriately?" Loki asked, bluntly, and he felt Steve start. 

"—what? No, that’s not-" Steve sounded almost indignant. "—you seem to like it," he said, shifting toward stubborn, and Loki opened his eyes to see that look on his face. "I’d like to try it." 

Loki gave him a long, slow look. There was a slight flush in Steve’s cheeks, but his mouth was set and his eyes were almost determined, and that expression made his blood warm.  _You’re not ashamed?_ He almost wanted to ask, but he suspected that would open a door he didn’t want opened. 

(It would be too difficult to explain - everything, from there.)

Loki reached up to curve his hand around the back of Steve’s neck and pull him down into a kiss. “Well then,” he breathed, on his lips. “I don’t see why not.” He let both his hands slide down Steve’s back to knead his buttocks, pull them apart and slide one finger between to flutter against his hole, feeling muscles clench under his touch. Steve made a small noise and Loki felt a little thrill, could feel his body responding. 

He pulled his hands back and tapped Steve’s shoulder. “Lie back. I want to see your face.” Steve’s face flushed, but it wasn’t embarrassment this time, and he pulled off and rolled over. If he was at all apprehensive, it didn’t show, his eyes registering to Loki’s gaze only curiosity and - eagerness. 

Desire tightened into a fist in him as he reached for the bedside table and pulled out the jar of lubricant, noting absently that it was nearly half empty. He would have to see to that. Ask Steve to pick one, maybe. He’d probably blush to be asked. 

He set that aside for the moment, however, in favor of stretching himself out over Steve and kissing him, slow and deeply and with long thrusts of his tongue until Steve pushed back, hands twining into Loki’s hair and tongue sliding against his. He let his hips move, let their bodies slide and rub together, listening to the way Steve’s breathing quickened, and then moved his body just enough to slip his hand between them and stroke Steve’s hardening cock. 

The sound he made was a gasp that made Loki’s own semi-hard penis twitch, and his hands clenched in Loki’s hair and then loosened, hurriedly. Loki hummed into Steve’s lips and stroked again before pulling back just enough to look down at his Captain. His lips were slightly reddened and swollen, his eyes half-closed and his legs spread just wide enough for Loki to fit between them. He looked beautiful. Debauched and already-

He slid down and pressed a kiss to the inside of Steve’s knee, then a little further up his inner thigh. “Pull your legs up,” he murmured. “Feet flat on the bed. I’ll do the rest.” He licked a stripe upwards and felt Steve’s skin quiver and his quiet exhalation, bitten off at the end as Loki’s tongue neared his groin. For a moment, he was tempted to use his tongue for the rest, but he set that thought aside for later as Steve obeyed. 

(When had he begun to think in the long term? In  _later_  and  _someday_ and  _when_ rather than  _if_ and  _now?_

_Be careful, Loki. When you begin to relax, that’s when you lose everything_.)

He pushed the thought away to kiss carefully around Steve’s loins, deliberately not touching anything there, keeping his mouth on less sensitive skin. “Loki,” Steve said, almost a groan. “That’s - that’s a little-“

Loki traced Steve’s hipbone with his tongue, and let his two thumbs skim along the very apex of Steve’s thighs, just barely not touching his balls. He felt Steve twitch and gasp and this time when he eased his index finger back along the smooth perineum, the pucker of his asshole didn’t clench so much when he circled it experimentally. 

_Just a little more._ He pulled his hand away and reached for the jar at the same time as he moved his head down, fastened his lips to the hot, silky skin of Steve’s testicles, and sucked lightly.

"Aah-!" Steve’s body jerked, and Loki repeated the motion, his finger now slick with lube teasing in little circles, putting just the slightest bit of pressure-

His finger slid a little ways in as Steve melted under his mouth, muscles going slack as Loki laved him lovingly with his tongue. His breathing was coming in deep, almost desperate pulls of air and his body opened easily before the urging press of a single slender finger. When he thought he had the depth right, Loki crooked his finger just slightly to stroke downwards.

"There-!" Steve’s hips pushed into his hand, apparently without any real conscious movement, and Loki shifted his fingers so his thumb could stroke along the skin full of nerves just behind Steve’s balls. His own cock was beginning to feel too full between his legs, edging toward an ache.

He wasn’t going to rush.

Loki used one finger until Steve was gasping, his body feeling loose around the single digit. He let up with his mouth when he felt him edging too close to completion, drew his hand back, and lined up a second finger. “You feel good,” Loki murmured, and pressed another kiss to Steve’s inner thigh, now damp with sweat. “Is it?” 

"Nnh. Yes." Loki craned his neck to see Steve’s face and found him with his eyes squeezed tight, blood bright under his fair skin. Loki slid the second finger in a circle and then began to work it in, slow, sure, keeping up the strokes with his thumb and little kisses, flicking his tongue at the base of Steve’s flushed and straining cock. 

He took less time before adding the third finger, pulling all his fingers out to coat them afresh, and this time Steve made a thin whining sound when Loki pushed his fingers in. He stopped, at once, could hear Steve panting loudly. “Just - just a minute,” he said, and Loki felt a nervous little twist. 

"—I can stop if-"

"No," Steve said, at once, and the almost fractured note in his voice made Steve want to shudder. "Don’t, I just - need a-" He sucked in several harsh breaths, and Loki lowered his head and ran his tongue along Steve’s cock. His body clenched and relaxed around Loki’s fingers, his hips shifting like he was trying to get comfortable. Carefully, carefully, Loki shifted his fingers and pressed, seeking. 

"Ah!" Steve jerked, clenched around Loki’s hand and then relaxed. "Do that - do that again-"

He obeyed, running the tips of two fingers over the same spot while simultaneously moving his fingers to stretch them apart, just a little bit, a little at a time, keeping up that stroking motion until Steve was panting again. “Okay,” Steve said, sounding breathless. “All right, that’s - that’s- I think I’m ready-“

Loki crooked his fingers again.  _No. Not yet. Not until you’re so full of need that there’s no room for pain and your body embraces me so I can slide into you like it’s meant._ Steve’s body jumped and Loki lowered his mouth to Steve’s testicles again, ran his tongue over them, nuzzled against the base of Steve’s cock until he could feel him twitching on the point of coming, and then pulled back. Every moan and gasp and twitch was a stroke along his nerves, every breathed rendition of his name making his body  _hurt_ for need, but he was going to do this  _right._ Steve’s muscles were puddling under his mouth and his touch, his ass opening more with every stroke of Loki’s fingers until he could twist all three in up to the knuckle with ease. 

“ _God_ ,” Steve burst out, suddenly, voice desperate and fractured. “Loki, just - just  _do_ it,” and Loki moved, finally, pulled out his fingers. He knelt between Steve’s trembling legs and slicked his cock - almost wanting to howl when he touched himself. He lifted Steve’s hips so he could line himself up and slid slowly

_home._

He could hear Steve gasping, feel his body shaking, but Loki’s mind seemed to have fled to the still tight, slick heat that was Steve’s body around his, around his cock, the movement of his muscles and the way Steve pushed back against him. He started to move, head almost spinning, and then it was the way his body clenched when Loki hit his prostate at just the right angle and how Steve quivered when he cried out. He made his eyes open and look at Steve’s face, and it was as good as he’d thought it would be,  _better,_ his eyes wide and his mouth open, undone with pleasure, and it was like someone had reached into his gut and squeezed, a feeling overwhelming and violent and too  _much-_

He felt Steve come, heard the strangled sound he made, and let go. His orgasm roared through him and he was gripped, for a moment, by the realization that he was coming inside Steve, marking his entrails with his seed and that Steve had allowed -  _asked -_ him to do this. 

He swayed, belly clenching almost in cramps as his cock pulsed a last few times. He tried to catch himself on his arms but they gave out under him and he just managed not to fall too heavily over Steve’s back, panting hard like he’d been the one thoroughly fucked. 

"Wow," Steve mumbled, after a few moments of silence, sounding a little dazed. "I think I…I think I need a minute." Loki could feel his softening cock sliding in his own come and didn’t want to pull out, wanted to stay like this and just have a moment to think  _mine._

He kissed Steve’s shoulder, open-mouthed, and thought  _I love you_ as hard as he dared, but couldn’t say it, still. Not yet. Not just yet. 


	24. shy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exhibit B of: I am real bad at following the prompts I am given, sometimes. This chapter warnings for some implied/discussed self-harm, body dysphoria, internalized racism...you know, all that fun stuff.

Steve knew something was wrong the moment he stepped inside. 

Well - something had been wrong for the last couple days. It seemed, bizarrely, like Loki was coming down with something, a general feeling of malaise and exhaustion making him snappish and - well, almost clingy by turns. He’d been napping when Steve had slipped out, and he’d hoped that still to be the case when he got back. But that wasn’t it. 

Somewhere in the last hour, he had a sinking feeling, something had happened. 

The living room was empty, as was the kitchen. He walked carefully down the hallway, unease growing. “Loki?” he called. The light was on in the bathroom, and he nudged the door open. 

The mirror over the sink had been smashed. There was blood on some of the shards. Steve’s heart rate picked up and he stepped back, quickly. “Loki?” he called, a little more urgently, to no answer. The bedroom door at the end of the hall was closed, and he stared at it, an awful feeling of foreboding rising in his throat. 

He walked over and tried the knob. It was locked. 

Steve swallowed the lump in his throat. “Loki,” he said, slowly. “Are you…in there?” Silence, and Steve felt the first flutter of panic. What had  _happened?_ "I need you to say something. You’re worrying me." He shouldn’t have left, Steve thought guiltily, he should have stayed and made sure…

"I am here. I am fine. Get out." Loki’s voice sounded strained, and Steve’s stomach churned uneasily. 

"You don’t sound fine," he said, slowly. "Can I come in? Just for a minute."

"No." Loki’s voice quivered strangely, and Steve tensed, his worry only growing. He leaned his forehead on the door. 

"Loki," he said, and could hear the pleading in his own voice. "Please. Whatever it is, I can help. Don’t shut me out." He was trying, desperately, to think of what could have happened in an hour, what could have gone wrong that Loki was reacting like this. "Whatever it is - whatever’s going on - it can’t be that bad."

It took him a long moment to recognize the sound he could hear through the door as a laugh, and his nervousness climbed another notch. “You think so?” Loki said, and his voice sounded - different, somehow. “You think-“

He heard a flurry of movement and stepped back quickly at the sound of steps pacing toward the door, bracing himself, but when Loki flung the door open he was still unable to keep his eyes from widening. 

He was  _blue._ Not hypothermic-blue, but truly, his skin a deep, rich color, strange patterns of ridges following the lines of his face. His eyes were crimson red all through other than the pupil blown too large. The features still undeniably his, but different, too. Steve half opened his mouth to exclaim, and then checked himself. 

Loki was holding himself rigidly stiff, but his eyes were wild and he could hear the way he was trying to stifle panicked breathing. His posture suggested temper but everything else said fear, and Steve suddenly knew that whatever he said or did here could all too easily ruin everything. A few things were clicking together in his brain, and he didn’t like the way they were coming together.

He met those almost unnervingly red eyes and kept his posture steady and calm. “Are you all right?” 

"Am I-" Loki made a strange hissing sound. "Don’t be a fool,  _look_ at me-“

"Are you all right," Steve repeated implacably, refusing to be derailed. "I saw blood on the pieces of the mirror. Your hands…"

“ _These_ hands?” Loki said, his voice brutally harsh as he almost shoved his hands into Steve’s view, blue and ridged there too, lines following tendons and after the initial shock it’s - beautiful, in a way. An entirely alien way. But Loki’s body was shaking and his tone was thick with - loathing, more powerful than Steve had ever heard from him, even before. 

He reached out to catch Loki’s wrists but he tried to jerk away. “Don’t touch me-” he started to say, but his voice cut off the moment Steve caught him, his eyes widening a fraction.

Steve tightened his fingers. Loki’s skin felt strange under his hands, cold and dry and slightly rough where those ridges ran. Loki sucked in a breath. “Loki,” Steve said, keeping his voice quiet and calm though his heart was still thudding too hard against his ribs. “Can you tell me what happened?”

"It doesn’t hurt you?" Loki said, instead of answering, and now Steve could hear the difference in his voice, the slight resonance, a low thrum underneath. It could be - nice, Steve thought. If he - in that voice-

_Not now._ "What doesn’t?" 

Loki’s fingers curled and uncurled and his breathing had picked up, the near panic more obvious, and then he moved again, yanked his wrists away and pulled back, taking several steps away from Steve. “This is what I look like,” he said, voice harsh again, almost a hiss. “Underneath. This flesh is the truth of what you’ve been  _fucking-_ ”

"You’re not a what," Steve said, and let a touch of vehemence enter his voice. Loki wheeled on him, teeth bared. 

"Am I not?  _Look_ at me, Captain-“

"I am," Steve said, still calm. "It’s still you." Loki didn’t seem calmed by that, though; if anything, almost seemed to become wilder. 

"And this is what I am! This aberrant, monstrous,  _creature,_ you don’t understand-” Loki had started to shake, working himself into a frenzy, and Steve’s fear and worry were only climbing. He needed to draw Loki back from the edge he was hurtling towards, and took a slow step forward. Loki’s lips peeled further back from his teeth. “I said  _get out._ ”

"I don’t want to leave you alone right now," Steve said, quietly. Loki laughed, sharp and harsh. 

"Scared of what I might do, Captain?" 

"Do I seem scared to you?" Steve took another step forward. Loki twitched like he might bolt, but didn’t move. _”_ I’m not. I’m  _worried._ Can you…come here?” 

Loki fell still, chest rising and falling rapidly. He didn’t step toward Steve, though. His eyes were wide, but after a moment he rearranged his features into a sneer. “You needn’t hide your disgust. Are you not -  _repulsed?_ ”

Steve felt a pang, and shook his head, slow but firm. “No,” he said, and met Loki’s eyes, was able to say with honesty, “It’s a surprise, but I still think you’re beautiful.” 

Loki shuddered, in his whole body, and Steve took a risk and moved slowly, lifting his hands to Loki’s rigid shoulders and drawing him into a kiss. He felt Loki shudder again as their lips met, and it was a strange sensation, kissing lips that much cooler than his own. Experimentally, he let his tongue just touch his lower lip, and found that Loki’s skin tasted like clean snow. He could still feel Loki shaking against him. 

Steve pulled back slowly, and let his thumbs rub into Loki’s shoulders. “Sit with me,” he said, at the last moment making it command rather than question. “Just…” He needed to figure out what had happened, and exactly what this meant to Loki, but for the moment…it seemed more important to ensure that he knew Steve wasn’t going to run away. “Until you’re a little calmer. Then…”

"I hate this," Loki said, and when Steve looked at him in surprise his eyes were shut tightly. "I _hate_ this flesh, if I could cut it out of me and make it  _bleed-”_

"Loki," Steve said, not quite sharply, and moved his hands down to catch his wrists, just in case, because there was a vicious edge to those words that made them - not nearly rhetorical enough. "Don’t," but he didn’t know the right things to say, so he just tugged Loki over to the edge of the bed and gave him a little push. His hair was still the same, Steve noticed, and he ran his hands into it, dragging his fingers over his scalp in the way he knew soothed him. He started, though, when Loki made a faint sound and leaned into his hands like he’d touched something else, and then jerked back. 

"What-"

"Easy," Steve said, almost automatically, but Loki shuddered.

"You don’t understand," he said again, and Steve felt his lips press together.

"I understand just fine," he said, firmly. Loki’s breathing was starting to pick up again, and Steve hesitated, and then got on the bed and wrapped his arms around Loki to pull him down flat so he could fold Loki’s body into the curve of his. Loki went rigid, but Steve waited a moment and he did relax. Steve moved his hair out of the way and kissed the back of his neck. One ridge followed his spine, and Steve after a moment traced it with his tongue, feeling powerfully self conscious. Loki made a small sound, almost like pain, strangely muffled.

"Listen," Steve said, keeping his voice calm and sure. "Whatever’s happened…we’ll figure it out." Loki was still shaking minutely, and Steve carefully moved his hands to edge under his shirt. Everything felt so…fragile, like one tiny wrong move could ruin everything and shatter Loki like glass, and that would be it. He let his fingertips trace slowly up the flat plane of his stomach, over his skin. "For now…let me look after you?" He felt his fingers skate over another ridge, a few inches above his navel, and Loki shuddered.

"Ah," he said, very softly, and then went tense. "That feels-"

Steve bit his lip, not sure what would be stepping too far, and felt his way forward. “I think you might be - more sensitive than usual, like this. Can I…” He took a deep breath and kissed the back of Loki’s neck again, mouth open so he could inhale that cold, clear smell-taste. “—you can of  _course_ say no. But it might help if…I do think you’re beautiful. I want to see…I want to make you feel good. Help you relax.”

Loki’s breathing was shallow and quick. Steve could hear him say  _I am not a curiosity for your pleasure_ harsh and furious, almost feel all the doors slam closed, and tried to stay calm. 

"Make me forget," Loki said, suddenly, and his voice was tight, but Steve could hear that soft thrum and was a little ashamed of his reaction. "Make it so I can’t think of anything but the fire of your touch, let this skin be good for s-"

Steve pressed his lips to the ridge on the back of Loki’s neck and sucked lightly. Loki’s voice vanished in a gasp. It wasn’t an answer, but at least it was something. 

He’d trace every line on Loki’s chest with his tongue, one at a time, if it earned Loki at least a moment’s peace. He shifted to straddle Loki and nudge his shoulders flat back to the bed. He was so  _tense,_ eyes closed and holding himself with so much-

Steve leaned down to mouth at Loki’s jaw. He was getting used to the feeling, now, finding the tingle of cold on his lips and tongue strangely pleasant, like ice cream on a hot day. “Your shirt,” he said. “Can you…”

Loki hesitated. Loki, always so thoroughly shameless, and he hesitated. Steve let his hand slide under Loki’s shirt again and up his side.

"I never wanted you to see me like this," Loki breathed, and his voice sounded like it fractured. Steve’s heart squeezed in his chest. "I hate - I  _hate-_ ”

"Let me give you something other than hate," Steve said, the words bursting out of him, and Loki was perfectly still for a moment, then made a soft sound and his clothing vanished, his eyes remaining shut. 

Steve couldn’t help but stare, taking in the soft gradient of colors of blue, the deeper cobalt of his nipples. The ridges twined down his arms like ivy, patterns more intricate over his torso, everything about them graceful, deliberate - did they mean something? Did  _Loki_ know if they did? 

He could hear Loki’s breathing fast and shallow and shook himself, leaning down to plant soft, sucking kisses down the line of Loki’s sternum. He shuddered with every touch of Steve’s lips and by the third a small sound escaped him, poorly muffled, and Steve decided he would make him make that sound, unashamed, however long it took. His hands slid up slowly and Steve let his finger slide in a light circle over one of his nipples. 

It was hardly any pressure, but Loki’s whole body jerked, and he made a sharp and partially swallowed sound like Steve had just tugged at his cock. Steve left his mouth where it was and repeated the motion, pressing down a little more firmly, and felt the vibration of Loki’s groan in his chest. There was sudden heat between his legs, but that wasn’t…

Steve moved his mouth over and clasped his lips over that darker circle of flesh, probed with the tip of his tongue. 

He felt Loki’s hips buck upwards under him, and shifted his mouth to swirl his tongue in little spirals. Loki’s rapid breathing edged toward gasps, and his low noises were becoming steadily less muffled. 

They could do this, Steve thought, as he fastened his lips in a seal and sucked until Loki’s hips ground against his thigh, the hard line of his cock a fraction warmer than the rest of him. (Were there ridges running along that, too, Steve wondered? Markings that he could run his fingers along, if Loki let him, and feel him react like this?)

They could do this, he thought again, as he moved their bodies together, setting a rhythm, and hold it together. Just fine.


	25. with toys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place after the as yet unfinished (and unposted) Fic To Come in this verse.

_I’m not going to hurt you,_ Steve had said.  _I don’t want to._ Then a deep breath, and he’d gone on, slowly, even as Loki could feel himself trembling between anger and shame.  _But. But that doesn’t mean…we can’t work something else out._

His hands opened and closed reflexively, but he left them by his sides, and opened his eyes into the opaque dark of the blindfold, trying to quash his doubts, but the dark was making his skin crawl in a way that was not entirely pleasant. He ought to have thought of that, have remembered-

Loki started at the sudden brush of Steve’s hand on his hip, a shiver crawling up his ribs, even so slight a touch lighting up his nerves. Perhaps this did have potential. “You’re tense,” Steve said, quietly, and Loki curled his fingers into the mattress. 

"I’m  _waiting._ ”

This time Steve’s fingers brushed over his hipbone and remained there, the weight of his hand settling. He almost thought he should feel shame at the way the fear diminished, just for that. 

"So impatient," Steve murmured, sounding unmistakably fond, and Loki’s chest ached for it.  _You know me for what I am.You know the rotten core of me and you would still-_

"As though you’ve never been impatient," Loki said, and let his body arch. "Go on, then, what is it you’re planning to -  _nnh._ " Feeling - not quite pain but dancing close to it - bloomed under his sternum, and his muscles went taut in surprise. His hands half flicked up, but Steve pushed his right arm back down, gentle but firm. The feeling ebbed quickly, the sudden pulse of heat cooling quickly against his skin. 

Steve shifted, his weight moving and the bed shifting until he was straddling Loki, hips holding him down just enough. His breathing quickened slightly in anticipation, bracing himself-

Steve’s fingers skated over his chest and he started again, feather-light and leaving trails of prickling sensation behind. He squirmed, just a little, and let out a breath. “What  _are_ you doing?” 

He felt Steve’s breath on his jaw only a moment before he mouthed a wet kiss into the skin, and this was - surprisingly interesting. If he hadn’t been sure about the proposal… he shivered a little as Steve kissed down his neck, and didn’t bite back a little sharp sound in time at a quick nip, his fingers at the same time tracing a little spiral pattern down the side of his ribs. “You’re being impatient again.”

Loki sucked in a breath. Not knowing where those little touches were going to come - his body tensed and relaxed, skin prickling. 

"Are you - mm - going to do something about it?" Loki said, and could hear the challenge in his own voice, but Steve just hummed and shifted slightly, sitting up. Loki started to follow the warm press of his mouth as he pulled away, only to fall back with a quiet gasp as a line of liquid heat almost-pain dripped onto his sternum, his skin lighting up with sensation. "Ah-!" It wasn’t pain, but the way his nerves blazed up for a moment was making a different kind of warmth pool in his belly that was starting to coalesce into a knot of more definite arousal. 

"How does it feel?" Steve asked, quietly, and Loki could just hear the worry in his voice and wanted to squirm away from it. 

"I can take-"

Steve flicked his chest, lightly, but the surprise of it still made him start. “I didn’t ask what you can take. I asked how it felt.” One of his hands floated down Loki’s side, not quite to his hip, and Loki took a few sharp breaths in, his cock giving an interested twitch. 

"Rather exquisite," he said, summoning a smile. "Though I have to wonder ifmmmm." Steve’s tongue ran along the still cooling line over his sternum, and the new warmth made his body quiver, very slightly. When had Steve learned how to tease effectively?

"It’s just wax," Steve said mildly. His fingers ran over Loki’s chest and then onto the little line of wax cooled on his chest. He just felt the nail brush skin before he was peeling it away. Loki’s eyes flew open into darkness, the feeling like his skin itself was being peeled away but without the pain, just a strange tugging sensation. His hips pulsed upward without thought and Steve’s pushed him back down. Loki caught his lip in his teeth.

“ _That_ is,” he breathed, and then Steve was peeling off another piece of wax, slow and deliberate, leaving his skin cold where it pulled away. He felt his cock harden between his legs and rutted upwards only to meet the fabric of Steve’s boxers. 

"Remind me to tell you about Cupid and Psyche," Steve murmured, suddenly, and his thumb slid down to Loki’s navel. The muscles of his stomach quivered under that light touch, and he imagined hot wax pooling underneath, down the slope of his stomach to the base of his cock. Imagined Steve peeling that thin coating off sensitive skin and wanted to whimper. 

The next touch, though, was Steve’s thumb tracing over the top of his thigh. Loki’s breathing quickened and his heart thudded hard against his rib cage, his legs falling open in shameless invitation, shifting his hips to rub against the hard line of Steve’s cock inside his boxers. “You could always take those off,” he murmured, and Steve made a hungry noise that he failed to stifle. Loki let himself smirk, picturing the flush rising in Steve’s cheeks. “Even if I can’t _see_ you _-“_

Steve’s fingers slid to the inside of his thigh, his touch light but his hand felt so  _warm._ Loki could feel every callus on his palm, every minute-

His body bucked at the sudden burst of feeling as wax hit the hollow above his hipbone and he gasped, sharply, and felt his cock fill, want quickly becoming more and more insistent. 

"Nnh - now you’re just-"

His voice broke off as Steve’s fingers slid up the inside of his thigh and then down over his balls, twitching violently. His head dropped back and he could hear the harsh sound of his own breathing, loud in his ears. 

"Just what," Steve said, and sounded a little like he was trying not to smile. Loki would have bared his teeth, but then another dribble of wax hit his skin just under his navel even as Steve shifted his hand to roll his testicles in his palm and he pushed into that, panting. He couldn’t tell if the feeling was closer to pain or not. His body seemed to grow ever more sensitive, every little touch whether or fingers or wax or even just a slight breeze from the window-

"Nnnh-  _Steve-_ " He meant to say something after that, perhaps a promise or a threat, but that died in the little rub of Steve’s fingers under the base of his cock. Loki yearned to tear off his blindfold and move, to grab Steve’s head and drag him into a kiss, to shove his own hand into those  _infuriating_ boxers and stroke until Steve was making those faint little desperate noises. 

He left his hands on the bed and settled for squirming helplessly. His cock was throbbing, his whole body alive with nerves, and Steve just kept massaging that one place until his body and cock both jumped with every push, and only  _then_ did his hand shift and wrap around Loki’s cock and squeeze. 

A bolt fired through his body, and he thrust thoughtlessly into Steve’s grip, his own pre-come slicking his flesh. He was breathing in short, harsh bursts, pulsing with it, rocking between hot and cold. Steve began stroking him in slow, rhythmic motions, each pull of his hand drawing Loki closer,  _closer-_

His eyes snapped open behind the blindfold, entire body arching as Steve’s hand twisted even as his other peeled the entire sheet of dried wax off of his hip in one clean motion.

Loki was startled at the force of his own climax, left blinking and wide eyed, his body humming, exquisitely aware of every part of himself. His blood felt warm, his body loose, and if it wasn’t the limp complete  _nothing_ of pain-

Steve gathered him close, though the hard press of his erection against Loki’s hip wasn’t entirely soothing. “Well?” 

Loki hummed, quietly. He felt…good. His mind seemed quiet. As an alternative…

"It might work," he allowed, and shifted to pull Steve closer, moving his body deliberately to make him gasp. "But I think it needs another trial."


	26. genderswapped sex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to wait to post the last five chapters until I was sure I could get the next installment up right away, but fuck that. I'm finishing this out. 
> 
> Some latent body dysphoria issues this chapter.

Steve started more than a little when a - well, very lovely woman opened Loki’s door at his knock, a smile that was almost startlingly bright blooming across her face. “Well, hello,” she said, her voice low and pleasant. Steve blinked, somewhat baffled, and her smile widened. “Are you just going to stand there, or…?”

_How did you get up here,_ he was going to ask, or  _who are you,_ but when he met her eyes he caught a slight glint there and started again in sudden recognition. “—Loki?” 

Loki’s curtsy was as graceful as his bow. “The one and only, Captain. Did you think I’d invited another here - perhaps to share our bed?” 

Steve half opened his mouth, then shook his head, feeling his face heat. “I don’t know what I thought,” he said, ruefully, and it was hard to keep from staring. Now that he knew…he could see it in her eyes (who else had eyes quite that shade), in the sharp lines of her cheekbones and that slightly too edged smile. She was - he was? - stunning, striking as he always was, just in a slightly different way. 

Loki stepped back and gestured - her hands elegant and slender, just a shade more than his would have been. “Well? Come in. There’s no need to wait out in the hallway.” 

Steve stepped inside, still feeling rather wrong-footed. Like he ought to be acting differently, somehow. For some reason he hadn’t…of course Loki  _was_ a shapeshifter, and in the myths once or twice Steve supposed he’d switched gender, and it was so clearly still  _Loki,_ but… He cleared his throat. “Is there a reason why…”

"A reason?" Loki smiled at him, just a hint of danger in it. Her eyes were dancing, and Steve’s stomach did a little flip, suddenly nervous all over again, like this was his first date and he was going to start tripping over his feet. "Why, Captain. You  _forgot._ ”

Steve shifted his weight to his other foot and cast his mind back, trying to think what could have happened today that Loki was referring to. “Forgot…”

"Why! On this date two years ago - perhaps near to this time, as well - I was spitting blood on the floor of your very fine lobby, having narrowly escaped a fairly messy end in a dark corner of the universe-"

Steve choked on that, a little. ”So this is an - an anniversary thing?” _Why?_ he wanted to ask, followed perhaps more urgently by  _what kind of anniversary is that?_ _  
_

Loki turned and took a few steps toward Steve, gait somewhere between a prowl and something else that made her hips roll in a very eyecatching way when she walked. He just stood there, a little frozen, as she reached up and smoothed the collar of his shirt. “Why not?” She smiled, and there was definitely a predatory edge to it that was entirely Loki even with softer, fuller lips. “I thought it might be…fun.”

Steve took a breath and made himself focus. “I like - I like the way you are…normally - just fine, you know,” he said, because something was making him faintly uncomfortable, even if he couldn’t pin it down. Loki frowned, though with those features it was slightly more of a pout. 

"You don’t like me like this?" Loki sidled a little closer, and Steve’s mouth felt a little dry. It was - a different feeling, the way the curves of her body pushed into his space, smoothing some of the edges of Loki’s slender form. 

"I do," Steve said quickly, "just…" but he lost track of what he meant to say, Loki’s hands sliding up his chest. Her nails, he noticed, were painted. Dark green. 

"Well then," she said, a low and - there was no other word for it, sultry murmur, and then her fingers hooked into the front of his shirt and pulled him into a kiss.

It felt different, kissing Loki like this. His - her? - lips were fuller and softer, and her body pressed against his wasn’t the flat plane of muscle. He could still feel the latent strength under the skin, but there was a thin layer of softer flesh in between. He was acutely aware of the way her breasts pressed against his chest, and Steve’s hands fluttered, uncertain. 

Loki moved quickly as ever, pulling back, hand tugging Steve’s head back by the hair, and leaned down to suck  _hard_ at Steve’s throat. “Are you going to get shy, Captain?” she murmured, and that low thrumming purr made his belly clench. “Don’t. I’m not a lady.”

Her teeth scraped over his throat and Steve heard himself make a faint “nnh” noise. His arms slipped around Loki’s waist and pulled her close, his hands sliding into thick, luscious black hair, bringing her mouth back to his and drawing her into another kiss, this time far more sure. Loki made a sharp, pleased noise and Steve felt a jolt in his groin. One of Loki’s hands caught his wrist and pulled it between them, guided his hand to the swell of one of her breasts. It fit comfortably into the palm of his hand. He curled his fingers a little, not quite digging in. 

"Ah-!" 

Her body pulsed forward, pushing against his hand and her hips nudging against his, nudging against his growing erection. One of her hands dropped and hooked into the waistband of his pants, tugging him closer to grind her body harder against his. 

Then she pulled back, and Steve felt his breathing hitch. The rich dark hair he’d had his hands in was disheveled, a flush high in sharp cheekbones, her lips kiss-reddened and full. It was her eyes, though - the slightly wide, wild eyes that were all Loki - that Steve felt himself respond to, his groin beginning to ache. 

Then Loki reached behind her back and unzipped the fine black dress she was wearing - and where had he found  _that?_ \- and simply stepped out of it in one smooth motion, and Steve could only stare. The graceful feminine curve of waist and hips, breasts only barely concealed by black lace, and the triangle at the apex of her thighs-

She was stunning. 

But it was just - even if his body was undoubtedly responding, it felt strange, something nagging at him that he couldn’t quite catch, and it flitted away all over again when Loki raised a hand and crooked a finger. 

He went without even thinking twice, and Loki’s hands slid down to his hips and then around to start undoing the catch of his pants, beginning to slide both them and his boxers off of his hips. “I’m going to push you back on that couch,” she said, and that  _voice_ just  _\- did things._ "And I’m going to ride you, my body full of your cock until you throw me back and just -  _uuunh Steve-_ " 

Half on impulse, he’d slipped his hand between them and between her legs, letting his fingers tentatively explore unfamiliar territory of Loki’s body, sliding in a sudden rush of wet heat as Loki moaned. Encouraged, gratified, Steve probed further, stroking, feeling his way forward. 

Loki moved fast and sudden, one hand yanking Steve’s shirt up so it was either let it be pulled off or let it tear, and the other shoving him back with sudden, aggressive force. With his legs still partially tangled in his pants, he half fell onto the couch with a startled sound and started to push himself up, but Loki was already straddling him, fully naked now, hair loose and mussed around her shoulders, hands braced on his stomach as she panted once, twice, mouth open. 

"Like this," Loki said, "I’m made to take you," and then she lifted her body, positioned herself over Steve’s cock, and pushed down with a harsh gasp.

Steve’s eyes slammed closed, overwhelmed for a moment by the sudden snug, wet heat of Loki’s body like this, vastly different from otherwise, soft and slick and no resistance at all. Loki’s back arched and her fingernails dug into Steve’s stomach, but the thought popped into his head suddenly that something about the way Loki moved seemed like…a performance. 

Except then Loki  _was_ moving, sliding up along his cock, and Steve forgot what he’d been thinking and made a sound a little like a whine. Loki laughed, breathlessly, and the sound was sweet. “How does that - nnnh - feel?” he asked, and Steve’s hips bucked helplessly as Loki rolled down against him, his body pulsing from warm to hot and back. “Touch me-“

Steve’s hand almost flew to between Loki’s legs, seeking desperately for the right place to touch, judging by the little gasps and moans.

Loki began to move in rhythm, slow, long thrusts, each one making Steve’s eyes slam closed and then widen by terms, ears full of the sound of their bodies sliding together. His orgasm was building but the pace was too slow and he just couldn’t quite - couldn’t  _quite-_

"Loki," he gasped, "Just a little - just a little faster-"

"If you want it faster," Loki said, sounding like he was trying not to laugh, and the next thrust was even slower. His whole body was shuddering and Steve bit the inside of his cheek, trying to push himself over the edge even as his fingers worked frantically between Loki’s legs, but it was no use- 

"Well?" Loki murmured, leaning down, forward, her hair draping like a curtain over Steve’s chest. "Are you going to fuck me, or should I just keep…"

Steve gave up and moved, grabbed Loki’s legs and pushed, using the momentum of his body to flip them over. Loki’s legs locked around his waist and her teeth caught his shoulder in a surprisingly hard bite, but he was already moving at his own pace, sliding his hands over the slight curve of Loki’s abdomen, up to her breasts, and at this angle suddenly Loki was gasping, squirming with sudden need. 

"Yes," Loki breathed into his shoulder, when she let up the bite,  _“_ yes, ah-” and then laved the spot with his tongue as her body clenched around him.  _  
_

Steve had meant to try to wait, but at the feeling of her pelvic muscles suddenly clamping down, wet slick heat all around and grinding against him- 

He came with a yell. Loki’s legs locked harder around him, her hips still moving in little thrusts, and Steve squeezed his eyes shut and focused on keeping breathing. 

The haze ebbed away slowly, and he was left with Loki folded underneath him on the couch in a way that hardly looked comfortable. Loki was still looking at him, though, but this time with a strange expression. 

It vanished the moment he noticed Steve looking, replaced by a lazy smile touched with more than a little lust. Loki’s eyes. But not quite his face. 

_Can you change back?_ Steve had the sudden urge to ask, but he didn’t want to offend. Didn’t want Loki to think…any one of the wrong ideas he might get.

So he just leaned in to kiss Loki. “You didn’t…come,” he said, after a moment. 

Loki smiled. The smile was his, too, and sent a little thrill through Steve, melting away vague and half formed worries. “Well,” she murmured, and ran her hands lightly up Steve’s back. “I’m sure you can fix that.”


	27. rough, biting, scratch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place somewhere in the middle of "Disarm."

In a dark crevice of the universe, Loki finally found a place to stop running. He curled up among rocks and dust and closed his eyes, sliding quickly into exhausted sleep. 

He opened his eyes what seemed like a blink later to find himself looking at Steve Rogers crouched next to him on a barren planet between worlds. “Well,” he murmured, “this is a surprise.” He pushed himself up, slowly, the protests of his body distant. They’d nearly had him, this time. He’d torn himself apart just getting away. 

_How much longer can you do this?_

Steve Rogers just looked at him, expression impassive. His eyes registered, perhaps, slight distaste. Loki fought the urge to smile and spread his hands. 

"I’d offer you better hospitality, but I’m afraid…"

"Be quiet," Rogers said suddenly, and his voice was strong and commanding. "I’m done listening to you talk when you never say anything." 

He didn’t mean to obey, but Loki’s voice died in his throat.  _Why are you here, then,_ he wanted to ask, even knowing that he wasn’t, that none of this was real in the least. He made his mouth tip toward a smile. “What is it you  _want_ to hear, Captain?” 

"A surrender would be nice." The hard note in Rogers’ voice tickled along his nerves, and Loki let his lazy smile spread further, shifted to reach one hand out to trail his fingers down one blue sheathed thigh to feel the muscle tense underneath. Rogers caught his wrist, grip strong but not painful. Loki felt his smile become a baring of teeth. 

"Why did you come here?" Loki asked, the words sliding silkily off his tongue. He leaned in, closer, half closed his eyes, hardly thinking about the note that slid into his voice. "Do you want…something…from me?" 

The blow to his face sent him sprawling, his head cracking against a rock hard enough to set off a brief burst of stars behind his eyes. The point of a stone dug into his shoulder. “What is this?” Rogers said, sounding almost incredulous. “I help you  _once_ and you think - what? That I  _like_ you?” Rogers scoffed. “And you said _I_ disgust you.”  _  
_

Something clenched and twisted in his stomach, but Loki summoned back his smile, tilted his head back. “You could have let me die.”

"I don’t kill people," Rogers said flatly. "Not even you," and Loki had to laugh. 

"It seems it won’t matter," he said, almost breathlessly. "You were right, you know. I can’t run forever." He closed his eyes. Waited while the Captain drew close again. 

And then struck. Reached up, knotted his fingers in that  _perfectly_ combed blond mop and dragged his head down to kiss him, fierce and hard and reckless because it hardly mattered now, did it? 

What he wasn’t expecting was for that aggressive, almost attack of a kiss to be returned, to be matched, and then it was  _Rogers_ pressing him back and claiming control, the grip on his wrist tightening until he felt it in his bones. His teeth dug into Loki’s lower lip and he went limp, his body responding to the forceful, demanding…

Rogers yanked away and Loki’s hand slithered out of his hair. His eyes blazed when he was angry, Loki noticed, his face flushed, and the heat in his body became more concentrated, definite.  _What are you doing,_ some part of him thought vaguely.  _This isn’t even…_

_Then why not?_

"Is that what you want?" Rogers said, his voice sharp, strident. He could command well. Loki had observed as much, noted the way men jumped to obey his authority in a crisis. Loki wondered what it would be like to command that kind of respect. Wondered what it would be like to kneel under that firm hand and obey, if he could make himself obey. "Is  _that-“_

_“_ You didn’t seem to mind,” Loki said, almost breathless, full of shame, full of want. He let his body arch, though, provocative and deliberate. “Isn’t it  _fun_ to let yourself be a little corrupted?” 

(That wasn’t it, though. That wasn’t-)

"Is that what you want?" Rogers sounded angry, now. He was beautiful in his anger, blazing and righteous. "Is  _that,_ " and Loki felt as though he were being pulled in by gravity, hooked his fingers into Rogers’ ridiculous suit and tugged, tongue slipping out to brush over his lips. 

Rogers moved in a surge of sheer raw power, his hands wrapped around both of Loki’s wrists and pinning them to the rocks, throwing him onto his back, and Loki couldn’t hold back a gasp that wasn’t really surprise, his entire body going tense, heat flooding down to his groin. He arched upward, half instinctive, and their bodies pressed together, for a split second. Long enough. 

Rogers’ expression warped from disgust into surprise, and then his eyes narrowed. Loki tried to control his features but could feel his eyes too wide and his heart pounding. 

"You want me to  _hurt_  you?” he said, his voice low, almost a growl. “Is that what this is about?” Loki felt the urge to laugh welling up, hysterical and awful.  _Nothing that simple. I want you to_ infect  _me. I want you to break me until I come out straight and clean and pure._

But this was his dream, and Rogers - Steve - leaned down and said, “You’re lucky, because I want to,” and then bit down hard on the flesh of his neck. 

It fired through his entire body in moments, like lightning, coursing through every nerve and down to his loins where his cock was already half-hard. The Captain pushed him back against the rocks until they dug painfully into his back, his neck, his wrists still pinned as well and he was laid out like a sacrifice, blood pounding in his ears. A ragged sounding gasp escaped his throat, and his pulse felt locked at the place where he was being bitten, centered in the pain. 

When Rogers let up, the sound that escaped Loki’s throat was very nearly a sob, and he wasn’t sure if it was relief or need. At some point his clothes had melted away, and he was sprawled wholly naked underneath  _Captain America,_ bare, vulnerable, body throbbing. 

"You disgust me," Rogers said, his eyes cold and implacable. Justice itself, unmoved but for the arousal Loki could see within snug clothing. "You’re a hypocrite. A coward. Look at you out here, running from  _everything._ " His hands squeezed on Loki’s wrists, and Loki felt his cock give an interested twitch. "And you want me to - what? Bring you in line?" He released Loki’s wrists. “I should just leave you to rot.” 

"Should. You won’t." Loki brought his hands up to the back of his suit, hooked his fingers, and ripped  _down._ The reinforced material came apart in his hands and he raked his nails down skin as it went.

Rogers yelled at that, the sound echoing in the complete stillness, and then dropped his head and bit Loki’s shoulder hard enough that he felt skin break. He arched, grinding upwards as Rogers’ body pressed down and their hips met. 

Then Rogers had pulled away and was shoving him down, pulling off the remnants of his suit until he was splendidly naked as well, the flush of anger spread down to his chest, his cock erect and curving toward his stomach, and the thought flashed into Loki’s mind that he wanted Steve to grab a handful of his hair and shove his whole length into Loki’s mouth, down his throat, to use his face without thought or regard or care-

His chest heaved as he sucked in a breath. “Please,” he heard himself say, thin and almost desperate. 

"Turn over," Steve said, rough and firm but not cruel. He wouldn’t be. Too righteous, too  _good_ to be cruel even to someone like  _him,_ and Loki turned, canted his hips, closed his eyes, need throbbing between his legs. “This is why you keep coming back,” he said, and this time it wasn’t a question. “Because you want me to -  _fuck_ you into the straight and narrow?” The word was harsh in the Captain’s voice, and Loki’s fingers clenched in rock and dust. “Do you think I can make you  _better?_ ”

Loki bared his teeth and breathed harshly through his nose. The hand on his back was warm and sudden and - surprisingly light. “If I can,” Rogers said, quieter, “then I guess it’s worth it.”

He moved. Loki knew it was impossible, and it  _felt_ impossible, but Rogers’ cock still filled him in one long and  _agonizing_ thrust, and it hurt like he was going to split open. The scream was pushed out of him like the cock inside him left no room in his chest to hold it in, and his body clenched. He gasped raggedly, tears filling his eyes, but his cock was almost aching and it was so exquisitely,  _wonderfully_ good. His hands scrabbled for something to brace on and he found something just in time for the second piston thrust of Steve’s hips, the drag of his cock  _in-out_ and he could only make “ah, ah,” sorts of sounds. His palms scraped on rock, abrading the skin. Behind him, Rogers was breathing hard. Loki’s head was spinning. He needed it to stop. He needed it to go on. He needed-

Rogers started to fuck him in earnest. Settling into a rhythm, each pulse out leaving his body feeling empty and each thrust in filling him to the breaking point. He couldn’t breathe, or else the air wasn’t reaching his lungs, and as his body slumped each rhythmic thrust dragged across his prostate, growing ever more sensitive. He was going to come apart, here in the dark on a lifeless moon being fucked by the star-spangled Avenger and that was  _exactly_ what he wanted. 

He wanted Steve Rogers to hold him after while he shivered and assure him that it was going to be  _just fine._

The pounding thrusts were becoming irregular, Loki realized, his body hardly registering the change with the agony of nerves stretched thin between pain and pleasure. Rogers was making faint sounds behind him, about to come. Loki could feel his body clenching tight where they met even with the blazing fire that was his insides, abraded raw. 

Steve Rogers came with a grunt, his fingers digging into Loki’s hips, maybe hard enough to leave bruises, and then one of those hot strong hands was groping down between his legs, wrapping around his oversensitized cock-

His eyes snapped open and he was alone, squirming on empty ground, still throbbing with arousal and panting desperately for breath. 

Alone in the dark between worlds, and he stared up at the nothing-sky and wondered why he hadn’t realized it before. 

_You are a fool. A wretched, wretched fool._

But he wanted it, still. Knowing that Steve Rogers,  _Captain America,_ would never touch a thing like him, would never sully his hands or his body with something like himself, he wanted it. Wanted him. Wanted those hands on his skin, digging in, all that authority and assurance and blazing  _rightness_ focused on him, so intense he might burn away. 

Loki squeezed his eyes shut and loathed himself.

It was for that reason that he made himself reach down and open his breeches. That reason that he took himself in hand, shame curdling low in his stomach to mingle with arousal. That reason that he brought himself to completion, to spill his seed on dead ground with his eyes squeezed closed and his mind full of the image of Steve’s hand guiding his. 

_You have nothing,_ he reminded himself, staring out into the dark.  _You will never have anything else._


	28. role playing

Steve woke up with Loki leaning over him and a glint in his eye that made butterflies flutter in his stomach. The moment his eyes opened, a smile bloomed on Loki’s face that was more than slightly dangerous. 

"Oh, good," he said, and there was something to his voice that made a shiver - not wholly unpleasant - roll down Steve’s spine. "You’re awake." 

"You know you could’ve woken me any time," Steve said, rubbing his eyes. "I’m not that deep a…is something going on? You’ve got a look." Loki’s smile widened, and Steve felt a little tingle of uncertain nervousness. 

"A look? I’m sure I don’t know what you mean." Loki bent his head and breathed lightly on Steve’s lips. "I’m just feeling a bit… _dangerous_ today.” 

It was hard to make himself tense and focus, and not to fixate on the way Loki’s tongue flicked out and brushed his lips. “Dangerous?” he asked, maybe a little nervously. “What does that mea-nnnh.” Loki nipped sharply at the thin skin under his ear, and Steve squeezed his eyes shut. “Loki…”

"I’m deliberately distracting you," Loki murmured, and drew a little swirl with his tongue on Steve’s neck. "And I daresay I can tell you that and it won’t matter, because I will still be able to render you unable to focus on anything other than my mouth on your skin and my voice in your ear." 

Steve felt himself shiver and gave Loki’s shoulders a little shove. “Hey, what’s going on?” and oh. That smile was - suddenly edged and a little bit frightening but the way it brought out Loki’s features was…

"I told you," Loki said, eyes just a hair too bright. "I’m feeling dangerous. Let me…" he trailed off, and his smile faded, slightly. "It’s a game. Do you understand? You can stop it at any time. Sometimes…"

Steve frowned. “What’s a game?” 

"I am. This is." There was that tone to Loki’s voice again, sliding in subtly at first. "A tame wolf is still a wolf, captain." He leaned down again, his teeth scraping along the side of Steve’s throat, and he gasped, hands going to Loki’s waist. "You hold a thin leash."

"I don’t," Steve started to protest, and then with a jolt realized where he recognized that tone of voice from, and stiffened. "—wait. Loki…" Loki fell still, and Steve felt an immense rush of relief. “Can you…tell me what’s going on?” 

Loki made a strange sound, and his body quivered, suddenly, under Steve’s hands. “Not clearly,” he said, after a moment. “I feel…it’s too much. Sometimes…” Steve heard him take two quick, shallow breaths, and Steve felt a spike of worry.  _It’s a game,_ Loki had said.  _Just a game._

He exhaled, slowly. “All right,” he said, finally, and tension flowed out of Loki’s body that he hadn’t realized was there. 

"Don’t worry," Loki said, a moment later, and Steve just managed to feel a little ashamed at the way that tone that was very near to the same he’d used standing over a crowd in Germany made his skin prickle pleasantly. "I won’t hurt you. I would  _never,”_ and Steve shivered, just a little, suddenly acutely aware of his position, on his back with Loki stretched out over him. It wasn’t a  _bad_ awareness, just-

He started with a little yelp when Loki bit down on his shoulder, just hard enough that it would leave an ache behind. “It would be a crime to damage something so beautiful. And I do appreciate beauty.” Loki’s hands slid down his arms and took his wrists, pinned them over Steve’s head with almost terrifying ease. Steve licked his lips and swallowed.

"Is that all?" he said, summoning his voice. It wobbled a little; the second try was better. "You think you can just seduce me and I won’t say anything about it?" He felt unbearably foolish, for a moment, and Loki tensed, and then he made a sound like a breathless laugh. 

"Oh,  _darling,_ " he purred, just as Steve was about to apologize. "I think I already seduced you, and you didn’t say a thing." His body shifted, undulating against Steve’s. "Except maybe to ask me for more," Loki added, almost as an afterthought, and Steve felt his face heat. Before he could think of an appropriate reply, though, Loki’s mouth fastened under his jaw and sucked with almost vicious intensity.

"Nnnaaah-" Steve’s body arched almost helplessly, pushing up against Loki’s, his whole body answering the tug at his neck. It was going to bruise for certain, leave a livid mark and an ache that would last and the thought made blood rush to his groin.

When Loki let up it was only to lick lines down Steve’s neck, a little at a time, until he was tracing Steve’s collarbone with his tongue. “I think you like a little wickedness,” Loki murmured, and Steve resisted the urge to squirm at the way his voice seemed to reach right down into him and touch his very core. “A little danger. Why else would you take up with me in the first place?” Steve felt a twinge and wanted suddenly to object, but then Loki hummed into his skin and he lost the thought. “Knowing all the risks…”

This was important, though, and Steve pushed the words out. “Because I know you can be better!” 

He felt Loki stiffen, but only for a moment, and then he laughed and his hands slid away from Steve’s wrists. He couldn’t move them, though, Steve realized, and felt a rush of mingled arousal and just a touch of nerves. It was so easy to forget sometimes how  _powerful_ Loki was but he was still…

"Better than what?" Loki said, with that playful, dangerous amusement Steve remembered from their earliest days, and then his fingers were sliding down over Steve’s chest, following the center line of his body. "I’ve been good enough for you, haven’t I?" He bent his head and slid down a little, lowered his mouth and flicked his tongue against the bud of one of Steve’s nipples. "Perhaps a little convincing?" 

Steve sucked in a breath. “I’m not that corruptible,” he said, sweating, still feeling self-conscious. 

"Really? Because you look fairly corrupted to me." Loki’s voice, that silky almost purr, was like a hand reaching between his legs and stroking him, and Steve slammed his eyes shut as Loki’s lips fastened around his nipple, tongue swirling around sensitive skin, his hand resting tantalizingly close to Steve’s erection. He tried to jerk his hands almost instinctively, wanting to twine his fingers in Loki’s hair, but his hands didn’t budge despite the fact that he couldn’t feel anything holding them. “Like putty,” and all Steve could think was that it was a damn good thing he hadn’t had this kind of reaction to Loki’s voice the  _first_ time around. He made his eyes open, wanting to see Loki - and also trying to summon a look of (patently false) defiance.

"Nnh - just because you can wind me up doesn’t mean-"

"Doesn’t mean anything? Mmm. You might wait to say that. I’ve heard I have a very convincing…tongue." Loki smirked, that dangerous and - god,  _beautiful,_ expression, and then he slid fluidly down Steve’s body and slid his lips over just the head of Steve’s cock, tongue stiffening to probe directly at his slit. 

Steve almost felt his eyes roll back before they closed again. He heard himself make a sound like a yelp and his whole body jumped like a shock had gone through him. Loki was already moving on, though, his mouth sliding down, tongue lifting and licking over the underside of his cock interspersed with gentle tugs of suction. Loki’s hair brushed his stomach and one of his hands slid back to play with his balls. Almost before Steve knew it he was panting and rocking up into Loki’s mouth, forgetting his uncertainty in waves of pleasure. “Loki,” he breathed. “That’s - aah-“

Whatever was holding his hands released, suddenly, and he moved his hands at once to Loki’s hair, ran his fingers into the silky strands and let Loki’s lips and mouth and tongue guide him over the edge. 

Loki pulled off of him slowly, tongue swiping him clean, and Steve moved quickly, keeping one hand in his hair but using his body and a hand on Loki’s shoulder to flip them over and put Loki on his back. Steve planted both hands on his shoulders and held him there, straddling his waist. Loki’s eyes had gone wide, and he caught a flash of anger that startled him and almost made him pull away. 

"Ha," Steve said, and tried to make his expression fierce. "Who’s got the upper hand now?" He felt foolish the moment the words were out, but then Loki’s eyes narrowed, the gleam back in them.

"You think you can win against  _me?_ ”

"I think," Steve said, "that I just might." 

_Just a game._ He took a deep breath. 


	29. with food

Even though he was expecting it, Steve startled a little at the sudden cold on his stomach. “That tickles,” he remarked, not in complaint, and Loki made a quiet little laugh. 

"Hmm. Does it?" Loki’s tongue felt startlingly warm in contrast as he lapped up the small dollop of whipped cream, finishing with a little flick of his tongue, and then lifted his head, mouth curved into a smile. Steve wondered if he was aware of the warmth in his eyes and the way it lit his whole face. 

"A little bit," Steve allowed.

"Not too much, I hope." Loki shook the canister in his left hand - there was still something strangely incongruous about that - and squeezed a white line down his sternum. Steve shivered a little, even though the whipped cream warmed quickly on his skin and a moment later Loki was licking it away, tongue leaving successive warm, wet stripes on his skin that made his nerves prickle. Steve’s hands came up and landed on Loki’s shoulders, fingers flexing a little into muscle, enjoying the way it rippled under his fingers. 

"Not too much, no," he said, his voice sounding a little breathless. He could feel Loki smile on his skin. 

"I love," he murmured, his voice a quiet vibration, "the way you react to me. How your body quivers under my mouth, your breathing catching in your chest…" 

Steve made a faint sound, almost helpless, and shifted. “How do you  _do_ that,” he asked, not quite in protest, and Loki laughed softly and swiped the last bit of whipped cream off his chest with a deft little swirl of his tongue. 

"It’s a gift," he murmured, and shook the canister again. "If we had a bit more of this…I’d be tempted to cover you in it and lick your entire body clean."

Steve shivered delightedly and ran his hands over Loki’s shoulders to slide down his back. It was almost flawlessly smooth skin under his palms, slightly cool and silky to the touch. 

"I don’t know how you make…everything sound so delightful," Loki smiled down at him. 

"That’s likely a gift as well." Loki turned the canister and sprayed a little dollop on his fingers, then lifted them to his mouth and sucked them in in a way that made Steve’s stomach tighten. He hummed, a pleased sound that made Steve’s cock twitch with interest, vague arousal sharpening to something more definite. Steve groaned.

"It’s just not fair," he complained, without much sincerity at all. Loki gave him an arch look as he drew his fingers out of his mouth, resting them lightly on his lips. 

"I could always stop," he said. Steve could see the corners of his mouth twitching and made an exasperated noise, pulling Loki down against him in one quick movement and fastening his lips to his long, pale neck. Loki’s head dropped back with a pleased sound. After only a few moments, though, Loki laid a hand on the center of his chest and pushed down. 

"I’m not done yet," he said, almost chidingly. "Don’t get impatient, love." Steve started a little at how casually that word slipped off of Loki’s tongue, even if he knew it was likely just an endearment. He let his hands slide up and run into Loki’s hair, though, the way Loki tipped his head back and half closed his eyes in apparent bliss making his body warm. 

He yelped as Loki’s clever fingers caught one of his nipples and rolled the bud between thumb and forefinger, his expression back to intent with an edge of playfulness that was a little intoxicating to see. Steve let his eyes wander down over his body, over his lean chest to where he was straddling Steve’s torso, gaze drawn to the length of Loki’s cock half hard between his legs. His hands twitched with the desire to touch.

Loki’s eyes followed his gaze and he tipped his head back, smile blooming as he reached his own free hand down and stroked himself, hand moving almost roughly, his breathing quickening just a notch. “It occurs to me,” he murmured, “that I’ve never done this - never just had you watch. Would you like that?”

Steve expelled a sharp breath and bucked upwards sharply enough that Loki had to release his cock to catch himself from falling, and Steve replaced Loki’s hand with his own, delighting in the way Loki jerked above him with a gasp as hot flesh filled his palm. “I’m more of a hands-on guy,” Steve said, ignoring the way his face tried to heat up. Loki let out a breathless laugh. 

"So it would - nnh - seem." Loki reached for Steve’s other arm and pulled it up with one hand, sprayed a line of whipped cream down the underside of his forearm into the palm of his hand with the other, and twisted his head to start licking it off, his hips moving in little pulses against Steve’s palm. He slid his hand up and swiped over the head of Loki’s cock to gain a little moisture, swirled his thumb in a circle over the tip to hear Loki gasp, his back arching. He knew Loki’s body now, the things he reacted to, and he was fairly sure he was never going to get tired of being able to get him to react like that. 

Loki’s tongue laved wet and warm over a sensitive place on the underside of his wrist, drawing little figure eights through the cold of the melting cream, and Steve’s body jumped. A moment later he sucked at Steve’s wrist, his eyes closed and body arched. 

"That feels - hnn, that’s-" Steve groped for words, and then lost them as Loki licked up his palm and sucked two of Steve’s fingers into his mouth, bit down lightly, tongue moving in little fluttering swirls and Steve could almost imagine how that would feel on his cock and he squirmed, arousal hardening into a low pulse of need in his loins. Loki hummed onto his fingers and Steve’s whole body jerked, and then Loki pulled away entirely, sliding out of Steve’s slackened hand and back to straddle his thighs. A sound of protest escaped him before he could stop it. He felt almost too warm, volatile. 

"You must forgive me for the cliche," Loki murmured, and Steve focused on his face with some effort and almost regretted it. With his lips glistening and slightly reddened and his eyes full of heavy-lidded lust, it just made the ache in his groin worse. "But you do look…delicious." His hands slid down to Steve’s thighs, his thumbs sliding between to urge his legs apart. Steve obliged, closing his eyes for the moment of rearranging their bodies so Loki could fit between his legs, trying to even out his breathing.

Loki gave him one last sly grin, and then slid down, one hand on Steve’s hips, the other-

He’d almost forgotten the whipped cream.

The sudden burst of light cold on his balls pulled a yell from him and his whole body jerked taut. He jerked partially upright, heard the silvery sound of Loki’s laugh and then his warm, wet mouth in sharp contrast to the cold. The pad of Loki’s thumb pressed little circles against the base of his cock but Steve hardly felt it, his senses occupied by the feeling of Loki sucking at his balls, his tongue slipping out to lave sensitive skin, his body straining to contain his need. He dropped helplessly back to the bed, hands clenching in the sheets, his hips pushing up into Loki’s roaming mouth.

“Aah-” Loki had touched him like this before, wrapped his fingers around Steve’s testicles and rolled them in his palm, but this kind of thorough exploration, and the difference between fingers and mouth, and the eager way Loki’s tongue roamed over skin-

He could feel his orgasm building, and then Loki sucked the last little spot of dwindling cold away and made a low, delighted sound of pure satisfaction, and between that  _noise_ (almost obscene) and the vibration it sent through his body-

His body seized up again, arching off the bed as he came, teeth catching on his own lip as his teeth clicked together, sucking air through his nose that didn’t quite seem to reach his lungs. Loki slid up and wrapped his hand around Steve’s shaft, stroking him through each pulse.

When he dropped back to the bed, he was still breathing a little too hard, and he could only widen his eyes as Loki lifted his come-spattered hand to his mouth and licked spend off with the same meticulous care he’d given the whipped cream.

Steve felt an empty, futile spasm of arousal clench in his stomach, already wanting again, before his body had fully settled.

Loki lowered his hand, and Steve took a few more deep breaths and then rested his hands on his thighs, let his thumbs move in a semi-circular stroking motion. Loki raised his eyebrows.

“Hmm?”

“I was just thinking,” Steve said, and smiled, just a little. He let one of his hands slide in to brush his fingers around the base of Loki’s erection. “Is there more of that stuff?”

Loki’s eyes darkened, and his lips curved as Steve felt his cock give a twitch. “You know,” he murmured, “there just might be. Perhaps you should check.”

Steve felt his smile broaden, the tightness in his stomach easing to a pleasant warmth. “I think I will.” 


	30. whatever pleases you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one takes place after the forthcoming installment, but as it was written before the actual fic was completed, I feel okay about putting it up now. If you want strict chronology, though, I suggest waiting on this chapter until the fic appears (which should be soon-ish).

Steve had been all doubts when Loki had first proposed the idea -  _I’m not sure,_ dubiously,  _it doesn’t sound,_ but the look in his eyes as he sat up suggested that he had, perhaps, changed his mind. One of his hands rested lightly on Loki’s hip as he surveyed his work.  _  
_

"There," he said, the firm satisfaction making Loki want to smile. He held it in. Loki shifted and pulled, but this time the restraints didn’t give. His wrists were each bound to the opposite elbow, arms tied to the bedframe, and if the bindings were soft on his skin his movement was limited enough that it would be difficult to tear them. Loki flexed his hands, and caught Steve watching the movement, his satisfaction shifting toward nervousness. "It’s not too tight, is it?" 

Loki let his head fall back and smiled, deliberately arching his body slightly and watching the way Steve’s eyes slipped down to his neck. “I’m quite comfortable. Are you just going to look?” 

"I don’t see anything wrong with taking a moment to admire," Steve said, his hand on Loki’s hip shifting so his thumb traced the diagonal slant of his pelvis. Loki’s breath snagged and he let his eyes drift closed, his hands twitching. He’d stripped bare before Steve had started binding him, and he was suddenly acutely aware of the feeling of vulnerability, of exposure. 

The last time he’d been naked and restrained-

Loki pushed intruding memories away, but Steve had fallen still. “Loki?” His voice was low, quiet. A faint thrum of worry underneath.  _None of this is real,_ a voice whispered at the back of his mind, but he pushed that down as well. 

"Kiss me," he said. Demanded. Steve’s hand slid up his side, over his ribs.

"Bossy," Steve said, maybe a little too deliberately light. "You’re always teasing  _me._ Maybe now I should…” Loki opened his eyes just a fraction of a second before he moved, kissing the side of Loki’s neck where it met his shoulder, open-mouthed and wet, one hand stroking up and down Loki’s side. His hands jerked to move into his hair, and stopped short. He didn’t quite manage to stifle a frustrated noise. 

Steve lifted his head and smiled, the expression a little more sure. “Oh,” he said. “I didn’t think about…this means I can just…you won’t be able to distract me from making you feel everything I want to make you feel.”

Loki felt himself stiffen, his breath snagging. Something almost like panic fluttered wildly in his chest, but then Steve dropped his mouth again, fastened his lips to Loki’s bared throat and sucked in slow, firm tugs, each drawing blood up to the surface of his skin, each pull answered down between his legs. He tugged against the bonds again, but they didn’t give. His heart was starting to pound, and-

Steve’s hands slid up and wrapped around his biceps. “Let it go,” he said lowly, and Loki fell perfectly still. “Trust me.” His body was close and warm over Loki’s, not quite pressing down against him. “Let me - take care of you.” 

_Let it go._ His thoughts shifted, realigned.  _You’re helpless. There’s nothing you can do but ride it._

He felt suddenly, perfectly weightless. A gasp slipped from between his lips, and Steve’s hands tightened on his arms as Loki’s eyes opened wide. He looked up into Steve’s vivid stare.

_Let it go._ "Steve," he said, and his voice sounded strange to him, but whatever Steve heard in it made Steve shift and stretch out over him, his mouth covering Loki’s and kissing him with the kind of fierce warmth that was so overwhelming. His body moved against Loki’s and Loki wrapped one leg over his hip, rubbed his hardening cock against the rasp of Steve’s clothing, his breathing starting to hitch and turn ragged. He felt light, free, almost giddy, the only thing holding him down the pressure of cloth ties on his arms. Keeping him grounded. Helpless. Free. 

Steve pulled back, and his pupils were dilated wide, his cheeks flushed. “You look beautiful,” he said, in a rush. “The look in your eyes-“

He moved again, slid down Loki’s body and wrapped his lips around one of Loki’s nipples already hard with anticipation. The warmth of his mouth, the flick of his tongue felt amplified, every sensation coursing through his body. Loki panted twice, twitching, his whole body a throbbing pulse.

Steve drew back in a sudden movement and dragged off his shirt only to return a moment later, his mouth roaming across Loki’s chest, hands exploring what his mouth didn’t touch, and it was too much, intoxicating, but he couldn’t stop, didn’t want it to stop. Steve kissed a line down his sternum and Loki’s hips pushed up almost thoughtlessly, desire knotting in his stomach and he was hardly certain what for. Steve’s hands ran up his sides and Loki felt his muscles quiver underneath.

_You don’t need to be in control._ _Not right now._

He took a gasping breath. “Steve,” he exhaled. “Take the rest of your clothes off and slide your cock into me, I want-” He spread his legs, pushed his hips upward. “ _Fuck_ me.” 

"I will," Steve said, and he pulled back, moving to shuck his pants. "But not hard, or fast. Just - slow. So you can feel every thrust at the pace  _I_ set.” He blinked rapidly, stomach turning a flip, eager and fearful, and he thought he might have let out a whimper. “And you can’t change that, you just have to take it and know that it’s because I want you to feel good.” He didn’t hear Steve shift to pull out the lube, or the sound of it opening, just felt the wet on Steve’s finger as it slid back behind his balls and found his asshole. His hips arched, helplessly, and he heard Steve’s breathing stagger. “Because you deserve to be taken care of,” Steve said, almost a whisper, and pushed just the tip of his finger into Loki’s body. 

He arched off the bed with a sharp sound, his body opening around the single digit easily. Steve’s other hand slipped under his ass and held him up off the bed as he eased the single finger in. His shoulders strained as his arms flexed, his hands clenching and unclenching. He could feel himself coming undone, his cock throbbing, and he’d hardly been touched. 

Steve worked the second finger in slowly, and Loki made a ragged and involuntary sound as the pads of his fingers rubbed across his prostate, sending pleasure spiking higher. He swallowed hard, his shoulders starting to ache and strain but the feeling was almost pleasant, a reminder. He only just felt the added stretch and burn of the third finger sliding in against the other two, occupied with the way Steve’s cock bumped against his own, the way his body throbbed with sensation and something more intense-

Steve drew his fingers out and shifted, lined his cock up. Loki could just feel the nudge of the head and splayed his body wider open, sucking in breaths. 

The way Steve pushed into him was excruciatingly slow. A moan dragged across Loki’s throat, he could feel every  _inch_ sliding against his insides, the way his body gave way for the pressure of Steve’s cock opening him up, leaving his body splayed open, tied down, immobile between the hard, warm shaft pushed into his body and the bonds holding him to the bed frame. He panted, helpless, eyes wide as he blinked at the ceiling, hips moving in little pulses. 

“ _Aaaah,_ " he exhaled. Steve moved in a slow, shallow thrust and for a moment Loki thought he would burst, feeling building up and cresting and ebbing.

"That’s it," Steve said, though his voice sounded shaky now, too. "Just…" Loki wasn’t going to last long at all. His cock jutted out, steel-hard and thought rapidly being subsumed by need. Steve moved again, as promised, this thrust longer but just as slow, and then again, need building and building. 

"Steve!" Loki cried, and he felt the quiver of Steve’s body over him. 

"Just feel it," Steve said. "Just  _feel_ it and  _let go,_ " and his body moved in one more long, slow, thrust, deeper than before, his fingers curling gently around Loki’s cock.

He was gone. His eyes slammed shut and orgasm shuddered through him, and he was overwhelmed, almost swept away, but it truly felt like  _release._

He wrapped his legs around Steve’s hips to keep his cock inside him, his hips rocking to pull Steve over the edge as well, until it was just the two of them, tangled together in the fading afterglow. 

Steve pressed his face to the crook of Loki’s neck and took a deep breath. A single thought could have unlaced his hands and left them free, but he left them as they were. His nerves hummed quietly. 

Loki closed his eyes, and let this be. Folded this moment in his memory and froze it in amber, tucked it safely away among his lifelines. 

Something to hold on to.


End file.
